Author: Glenn Hauman

GLENN HAUMAN: How to create your own webcomic!

GLENN HAUMAN: How to create your own webcomic!

People have been speculating that we here at ComicMix were going to start up with a webcomic any day now, but we had a secret shame — we didn’t actually know how to create 21st century cutting edge webcomics that all the kids read today. But thanks to Ridiculopathy (with a hat tip to Dirk Deppey) we finally know how to do it!

Rule #1 – Don’t draw anything. Illustration is hard work and a time-consuming skill to acquire. Thanks to modern technology, most notably the copy & paste feature found on most modern computers, it is now completely unnecessary. Grab a random image from Google Image Search and add some speech bubbles. Don’t even draw the speech bubbles- just search "speech bubble" on your pal Google Image Search.

Easy enough. Who needs real artists and letterers anyway? They’re always late, and just make you tired and grouchy.

Rule #2 – Don’t write actual jokes. Other than the mistake of spending time drawing a comic, the second most common mistake newcomers make is writing one. Some people waste hours wracking their brains for a funny premise or clever line, but it’s utterly pointless and only exposes you to the danger of your readers just not finding your jokes funny. Instead, start from a very specific audience (most often based on a fandom, fundamentalist religion, or bizarre sexual practice) and tell them what they want to hear in four-panel format.

Hey, we can skip over getting writers too? Hot damn! Brian, we just dropped our burn rate down to, like, nothing! We can put it all back into T&A — er, sorry, T&E. Travel and Entertainment. Really. Honest.

Rule #3 – Don’t be gracious. A great way to generate buzz for your web comic is by picking a fight with another web comic, preferably someone with a more established site so that the inevitable "look at what this moron just said" links on his forum will boost your server stats. Again, you can’t and probably shouldn’t write jokes about them, so just barf up a few panels about calling your target names and making them cry.

This keeps getting better and better! Hey, um — who do we want to pick on today? Scott Kurtz? No, we’ll see him this weekend. Warren Ellis? He’s not crossing the Atlantic for a year, but his fans are scary. Wait — Bendis! He’s under an exclusive contract, he wouldn’t be able to write for us anyway, so we don’t have to suck up to him. Hey, Bendis! Get a toupee!

Rule #4 —

Oh, who cares at this point? We’re ready! We know everything! Time to start up a web comics publishing empire!

I wonder if we can have a press release ready in time for Baltimore….

(more…)

Happy Sweet 16, Ariel David!

Happy Sweet 16, Ariel David!

We know you’ve had a tough childhood– having Peter David as a father can’t be easy on anyone– but you’ve thrived and blossomed, and we hope you’re having a happy birthday. Good luck with getting the driver’s license.

(Never let it be said that we don’t take any available chance to embarrass Ariel.)

Happy anniversary, science fiction films!

Happy anniversary, science fiction films!

Georges Méliès’s Le Voyage Danse La Lune (A Trip To The Moon) was released in Paris 105 years ago today — by any definition of the term, the first science fiction special effects summer spectacular. And now, through the magic of the internet, we bring it here to you.

Enjoy it before some bozo decides to remake it for Summer 2009.

Happy belated 55th birthday, Paul Reubens!

Happy belated 55th birthday, Paul Reubens!

I actually was aware of Paul Reubens’s birthday this past Monday, August 27, but I didn’t really know what to say about it– I mean, we all know Pee-Wee Herman, readers of this site remember him in Batman Returns, Murphy Brown and You Don’t Know Jack, and we all remember the other stuff, but really, what was there to add?

Then I was reminded that he’s responsible for the Best. Death Scene. Evah.

Okay, so it’s probably the worst version out there. So sue me. Go rent Buffy The Vampire Slayer and watch it yourself.

 

It’s the New Groo Revue

It’s the New Groo Revue

Twenty-five years, twenty number one issues, and five jokes. Yep, it can only be Groo The Wanderer. The one, the only, the only, the one — back in a silver anniversary special from Dark Horse, who clearly have too much money coming in from Star Wars and Buffy if they feel they can spend money on Aragonés and Evanier.

There’s a four-page preview up — if you’ve never seen it before, take a look and enjoy. See if you can spot the hidden message.

Artwork copyright Sergio Aragonés and possibly Mark Evanier, too. All Rights Reserved.

SFWA abuses the DMCA

SFWA abuses the DMCA

Remember a while back when I said I supported John Scalzi over Michael Capobianco for president of SFWA, and that I might have to throw my hat into the ring as SFWA VP? Reactionary stuff like this from the new SFWA VP, Andrew Burt, is the reason why. Take it away, Cory Doctorow:

"The Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America has used the Digital Millennium Copyright Act to fraudulently remove numerous non-infringing works from Scribd, a site that allows the general public to share text files with one another in much the same way that Flickr allows its users to share pictures.

"Included in the takedown were: a junior high teacher’s bibliography of works that will excite children about reading sf, the back-catalog of a magazine called Ray Gun Revival, books by other authors who have never authorized SFWA to act on their behalf, such as Bruce Sterling, and my own Creative Commons-licensed novel, "Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom."

"The list of works to be removed was sent by "epiracy@sfwa.org" on August 17, described as works by Isaac Asimov and Robert Silverberg that had been uploaded without permission and were infringing on copyright. In a followup email on August 23, SFWA Vice President Andrew Burt noted that the August 17 list wasn’t "idle musing, but a DMCA notice." […]

"This implies that Robert Silverberg and the Asimov estate have asked SFWA to police their copyrights for them, but it’s important to note that many of the other authors whose work was listed in the August 17 email did not nominate SFWA to represent them. Indeed, I have told Vice President Burt on multiple occasions that he may not represent me as a rightsholder in negotiations with Amazon, and other electronic publishing venues.

"More importantly, many of the works that were listed in the takedown were written by the people who’d posted them to Scribd — these people have been maligned and harmed by SFWA, who have accused them of being copyright violators and have caused their material to be taken offline. These people made the mistake of talking about and promoting science fiction — by compiling a bibliography of good works to turn kids onto science fiction, by writing critical or personal essays that quoted science fiction novels, or by discussing science fiction. SFWA — whose business is to promote science fiction reading — has turned readers into collateral damage in a campaign to make Scribd change its upload procedures.

"Specifically, in the Aug 23 email, SFWA Vice President Andrew Burt demands that Scribd require its uploaders to swear on pain of perjury that the works they are uploading do not infringe copyright. SFWA has taken it upon itself to require legal oaths of people who want to publish any kind of thought, document, letter, jeremiad, story or rant on Scribd. Not just "pirates." Not just people writing about science fiction, or posting material by SFWA members — SFWA is asking that anyone writing anything for publication on Scribd take this oath of SFWA’s devising."

"Ironically, by sending a DMCA notice to Scribd, SFWA has perjured itself by swearing that every work on that list infringed a copyright that it represented. Since this is not the case, SFWA has exposed itself to tremendous legal liability. The DMCA grants copyright holders the power to demand the removal of works without showing any evidence that these works infringe copyright, a right that can amount to de facto censorship when exercised without due care or with malice. The courts have begun to recognize this, and there’s a burgeoning body of precedent for large judgements against careless, malicious or fraudulent DMCA notices — for example, Diebold was ordered to pay $150,000 125,000 for abusing the DMCA takedown process."

As the saying goes, read the whole thing. And the comments thread.

The Hundred Acre Deadwood

The Hundred Acre Deadwood

Call it a hunch, but I don’t think this will be showing up on HBO Family any time soon. From Cracked magazine, pulled from the first issue.

If you’re at all familar with Deadwood, then you know it’s obviously not safe for work.

Or for kids.

Or possibly for your spouse.

Or Disney.

I mean, geez, this is some twisted stuff here — this is about the only un-profane panel I could find to post.

Today South Park, tomorrow the world!

Today South Park, tomorrow the world!

Via Cynopsis: South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker entered into a heavy-duty contract with Comedy Central to create South Park Digital Studios. The facility, located inside of the show’s Culver City studio, will serve as a home for all digital extensions of the South Park franchise as well as an incubator for new animated projects. Comedy Central gets a first-look option at anything they come up with.

The deal also includes a three-year contract extension that will carry South Park through its 15th season and gives Matt and Trey an unprecedented 50/50 split in ad revenues generated across the web, video games and mobile platforms, in addition to undisclosed millions in upfront cash.

And to think they were going to quit after the 65th episode.

Comic Foundry launch party tonight

Comic Foundry launch party tonight

Laura Hudson posts that there’s a release party tonight for last week’s Comic Foundry release at The Irish Rogue, 356 W 44th St., NYC. from 6 PM to whenever. They’ll be giving out a limited number of gift bags to the first however many people get there, containing a free issue of Comic Foundry, a comic book pulled directly from Laura’s or Tim Leong‘s personal collection, and potentially other… mysteries.

Laura adds: "Wednesday also happens to be ladies night at The Irish Rogue, which means 2 for 1 Cosmos for the fairer sex. We aim for female friendliness!  Bring your women, your men, your lovers, your friends, and your thirst for liquid courage–we’re having a party, and you’re invited!"

The Geek Hierarchy

The Geek Hierarchy

So a bunch of us Mixologists were having dinner in a suburb of Chicago having what EIC Gold claims are the best hamburgers in the world (pretty good, but that’s another post) and we started talking about  who looks down on whom — Doctor Who fans looking down on Dark Shadows fans, who in turn look down on Forever Knight fans, and so on — and I mentioned that the Geek Hierarchy already existed. Multiple Michaels Davis, Gold, and Raub were all disbelieving that such a hierarchy existed, let alone that it had standing.

Doubt me, eh? Gentlemen… this link is for you. Presenting The Geek Hierarchy. (All ComicMix readers can elevate themselves one level on the chart.)