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Ed Catto Was Kidnapped by Comic Shop Retailers!

They say what happens in Vegas should stay in Vegas, but in this week’s column I’m going to let the proverbial cat out of the bag.

As you may recall from last week, I was recently in Las Vegas at the GAMA trade show convention. This annual gathering is designed to help game store owners (and comic shop retailers) learn about upcoming products, learn best business practices and network.

In my role as a marketing consultant, I was helping a company called TCGplayer.com launch a new platform for retailers. It was hard work to get everything ready in time for the show, but it all paid off with fantastic results. And for a guy like me, it was especially fun to be onstage in a room of 300 retailers and introduce the company’s CEO during the keynote speech. By the end of the show, I helped deliver results that far surpassed their expectations.

Now I’m not sure if I’m a glutton for punishment or if I just really like hanging out at comic shops. But when the trade show ended on Friday, I embarked on a “Vegas walkabout” to visit the local Las Vegas retail shops.

First off was Ralph Mathieu of Alternate Reality Comics. Ralph’s a focused, upbeat retailer who is also a passionate fan. In fact, his amazing wall of original artwork at the back of the store is a bold testament to his passions.

I had met Ralph many years at a ComicsPRO event. Like GAMA, that’s also a trade organization for retailers, but ComicsPRO focuses more on comic shops than card stores – although there is a lot of overlap in both organizations. Back then, I think I met Ralph in the BOOM! Studios Mobile Party Bus… but that’s another story for another day.

Anyways, it was invigorating to see Ralph, and his co-worker Hannah, at his wonderful store. Just as I was wrapping up my shopping, a boisterous quartet burst through the doors!

These bad hombres were comic shop retailers from the GAMA trade show who, like me, were on the local comic shop trail. And there were faces I recognized:

  • Chris Brady is the owner of 4Color Fantasies in California’s Rancho Cucamonga and one of the leaders of ComicsPRO. He’s a wise retailer with a sharp eye and a catalog of great stories. He also brought two other folks from his retail team.
  • Brave New World’s new owner Mike is a big retailer with a big laugh. After a successful marketing career, Mike recently took over this legendary California comic shop. He’s cut from the same cloth as Mongo’s Vultan, Prince of the Hawkmen – he’s full of confidence and drinks deeply from the cup of life!

Once we realized we engaging in similar local retailer visits, these guys kidnapped me (i.e., invited me to tag along) and off we went!

We stopped at two more retailers:

  • Cosmic Comics is a fun store with gorgeous back issue file cabinets. Co-owner Brian Fudge came out from the backroom to chat us all up a bit.
  • MaximuM Comics has several locations and we dropped in at the one in Henderson, NV. That’s a nice suburb of Vegas. We were there on St. Patrick’s Day, and I was especially impressed with their sale on comics-with-green-characters: Green Lantern, Green Arrow, Hulk etc.

It was fascinating to spend the week with 400 retailers at the GAMA show, but even more interesting to visit actual retail locations with a few of them. These retailers studied each store we visited with inquisitive and evaluative eyes. They were looking for new retailing ideas. They wanted to know the problems solved with every retail choice. They were instantly able to evaluate everything they saw.

On the way back, we happened across a broken down Mercedes Sprinter van. It was filled with long-legged Las Vegas Dancers and they pleaded with us stay with them and drink martinis while they waited for their tow truck to come.

Well, that part is a total lie. The reality was much more mundane. We wrapped it all up in the early afternoon and went back to our hotel rooms for a nap, and presumably to read our new comics. And, you know what? That was a pretty awesome way to spend an afternoon in Vegas.

John Ostrander: My Secret Origin Story

Tomorrow I’m supposed to have what is called a nuclear stress test – checking on the old ticker – during which they introduce a nuclear particle into my blood stream and then will track it. According to comic book physics, this should result in my gaining a super-power or two. So I’ve been considering what power(s) I might get or want.

There’s a spectrum of possibilities. Spider-Man got his powers through radioactivity, as did the Hulk. The Fantastic Four got their powers through a form of radiation. In the back of my mind, I wonder if the radioactive particle might activate some recessive mutant gene or possibly Terrigen mists like the Inhumans to which I may have been unwittingly exposed.

Daredevil got hit by a truck and some radioactive isotope/bar clonked him on the head which obviously gave him his radar sense. The Atom got his powers from White Dwarf Star radiation. Superman’s powers come from the rays (radiation) of a yellow sun, but he loses them under a red sun.

So – what powers would I want? Flight is always a great one but there are problems. For example, why doesn’t Superman have bugs in his teeth? You drive a car down a highway and you’re going to wind up with bugs in the grill and bugs on the windshield. And big airplanes are often having collisions with birds; does Supes do that or does he dodge them? So flying is not as simple or cool as one might imagine.

Enhanced strength? I’d be the perennial bull in the china shop. How much would I destroy by accident? I’d have to get used to it and learn how to modulate it; shaking someone’s hand could cause them major bodily harm.

I’ve always had the theory that super-powers in some way should have a psychological component; the power somebody manifests should be tied in to who they are. So what powers would work for me?

I tend to be more cerebral than physical, so I think I would tilt more to the Professor X end of the scale. Mind powers. Or like Deadman, I’d have the ability to inhabit other people and take over their bodies and live their lives for a while. It’s sort of what I do as a writer; I go into other lives.

Eh, then you also have Dr. Sam Beckett on Quantum Leap. I thought he was kind of creepy. He’d “jump” into other people’s lives and be them for a while and then, when he leapt out, the real person would come back, aware that they had been possessed and dispossessed at the same time and they’d be stuck living with the changes Sam Beckett had made in their lives.

Green Lantern would be up my alley; manifesting whatever I can imagine through sheer force of will. That, too, is what I do as a writer. But that falls outside the parameters of the concept – it’s not radioactivity that gives GL his powers but the ring. Same thing with Batman; no radioactivity involved in his creation. Unless we want to suggest Bruce was bitten by a radioactive bat when he first fell into the bat cave as a boy. Hmmmmm.

Of course, I could also wind up with less useful powers such as being able to sniff out chocolate within a mile. Or with a gesture make meatballs and sauce fly out of my fingers. With my luck, that would be more likely.

Well, we’ll just have to wait and see. If I get something, I’ll let you know next week. Unless, of course, I need to preserve my secret identity. If you hear nothing further from me on the subject, you’ll know why.

As the creator of so many great super-heroes would say – Excelsior!

Marc Alan Fishman: What DC Could Learn from Logan

Having finally caught and absorbed James Mangold’s Logan, the finale to the OG X-films, I find myself hoping that the execs behind the soon-to-be-released Wonder Woman and Justice League movies were taking notes. A caveat: I’m going to attempt to keep my lens wide this week. While I don’t believe I’ll be spoiling anything more than people on your Facebook feed have blathered about, be nonetheless forewarned.

Before I get into my listicle (they’re what make articles click-baity, don’t-cha-know), let me quickly pontificate. Logan was one of the most powerful superhero films I’ve ever seen. Perhaps second only to The Dark Knight. It was a straight-forward small-scale road picture that kept a handle on a single-thread story, presented as an homage to the westerns it evoked throughout the picture. In spite of a heavy-handed two-hour run-time, the film itself moves at a steady pace. The performances are top-notch, with Patrick Stewart and Hugh Jackman taking astounding leaps above their initial performances of Charles Xavier and Wolverine circa 2000. Sweet Rao I feel old just typing that. But I digress. On with the listercizing!

  1. Things get dark, but never for the sake of needless angst.

The first thing DC should take note on… and perhaps highlight, circle, underline and install neon lights around… is that it’s perfectly acceptable to be maudlin if it’s earned. X-Men, X2, and to a much-much-much-much lesser extent any of the other X-films did much to pile on the action and gravitas towards the mutant life en masse. But Logan abstains from needless retreading. Instead, it delivers us heroes who are hurt inside and out. It gives them needs, wants, and desires that don’t coincide with some greater plot or McGuffin. And when a McGuffin lands in their lap, they pleasantly drape it in subtext (Charles Xavier, through his delusional state, would seek to mentally communicate with any over living mutants, wouldn’t he?) that earns the gravitas the film requires. And when a character screams to the heavens in a shrill cry of anger and sadness, it comes by way of two-hours of earned malaise and not because it looks cool.

  1. Show. Don’t tell.

During a lull between brutal set pieces, Professor X waxes poetic about the final days of his former academy. He doesn’t speak in pure exposition. He drifts in and out, dancing around nuanced and painful memories, and ultimately evokes the feeling of tragedy and regret deeply rooted in his psyche. We never hear the full details of what occurs. We never see some spiffy CG recreation. And we never need to.

In addition to Charles’ admission of guilt and shame and the slow reveal of X-23’s backstory, Logan elicits the show-don’t-tell ethos that DC needs to heed. While yes, we get the obligatory backstory tacked to her early on, it’s delivered without hanging a lampshade on it time-and-again. Laura is feral and untrusting. She’s lethal and raw. While we see her drop her guard eventually, it comes over the course of many scenes and instances where Dafne Keen shows us how powerful a performer she is. Logan never once feels the need to montage our way toward understanding a new norm.

  1. Keep the violence real, believable, and still other-worldly.

The biggest issues I’ve had with Batman v. Superman and Suicide Squad came solely in their fetish for destruction. Logan certainly was built for violence. But when it occurs, it’s not only earned by the stakes in the story, it comes layered with emotional and physical fallout. As Logan and others are forced to fight a youthful Wolverine clone (my one spoilery thing, I apologize…), suddenly fighting a savage killer with a healing factor feels like a true threat. It also stands to note that even in the climax of the film — with multiple combatants, gunfire, and viscera — there’s no death for the sake of spectacle. War is waged for hope, humanity, and vengeance. All that, and there’s nary a single beam-being-blasted-towards-the-sky. Natch.

  1. The story is fearless in the face of predictability

If nothing else could be counted on by DC after seeing Logan, it should be the safe admission that sometimes it’s OK to tee-up a predictable story. There’s nary a single twist to the picture if you pay clear attention. But, due to the patience of director Mangold, we get a film that never needed to rely on ham-fisted trickery to earn the 92% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The potency lies in the characterizations and believable escalation of antagonism. Villainy in Logan is no less super-villainous that Lex Luthor creating Doomsday, or Darkseid declaring war on Earth. But it’s the reactions of our heroes that carry us through to the end credits. Jokes occur naturally and not at the behest of breaking a tense and necessary silent moment for the sake of relieving the stress on the audience. Mangold lets the story unfold through deliberate character-driven motivations. We never see the puppet-strings of action-figure-merchandisers creating moments for future marketing. Honesty and artistry over bottom-dollar-profits. And because of it, the fans have carried a hard R-rated film to over 500 million dollars in ticket sales.

I know Justice League and Wonder Woman are being built to pitch out to a larger PG-13 audience. But the sincere hope remains that DC paid attention. Logan was amazing not because it used the word fuck a few hundred times, but because the story delivered earned every last fuck delivered.

 

The Law Is A Ass

Bob Ingersoll: The Law Is A Ass #404

THE SHOW WAS DUMB NO DOUBT ABOUT IT

I feel like staying far away from Civil War II this week. How far away? I’m not even writing about comic books. That far.

Doubt was another attempt to do a Shonda Rhimes style show without Shonda Rhimes. CBS tried to hedge its bets by having former Grey’s Anatomy Katherine Heigl headline Doubt. Did that help? Even less than her presence helped in her last show, State of Affairs. State of Affairs lasted 13 episodes. CBS pulled Doubt after only two episodes. Which is one more episode than I was able to last. Doubt was such a huge turkey it could have fed the Eight is Enough brood and still have had enough to give the Brady Bunch leftovers. But I digest.

Doubt told the story of Sadie Ellis, a high-priced New York City defense attorney who was defending Dr. William Brennan on a first-degree murder charge. The show was, as TV flack hacks like to put it, “ripped from the headlines.”

See, Dr. Brennan was a doctor, a pilot, and a the son of a US senator, who was accused of murdering his 16-year-old girlfriend back in 1993. So, this story is a mash-up of John F. Kennedy, Jr. (son of a senator and a pilot) and Michael Skakel (nephew of a different Kennedy senator who was accused of the 1975 murder of his 15-year-old girlfriend and convicted in 2002). The writers had to go to the library achieves to find whatever newspapers they ripped this15-year-old headline from. I understand that if Doubt had made it to a second season, instead of just a second episode, it was going to do a “ripped from the headlines” story based on Sacco and Vanzetti.

Dr. Brennan’s girlfriend was murdered back in 1993. We learned in a pretrial hearing that Dr. Brennan confessed to the murder to another student while they were in boarding school. And that the murder weapon disappeared in 2006 and hasn’t been found.

Ms. Ellis and her team thought their best chance to win the case was to suppress the statement. If that was their best shot, Dr. Brennan better start getting measured for his fashionable “The New Black” jumpsuit. Because the odds of them winning the suppression motion were even worse than the odds of my winning the Mega Millions and the Powerball. Three times.

The Fifth Amendment says that no one can be compelled to incriminate him or herself. Confessions are suppressed when they are obtained in violation this amendment because they are in some way coerced. All courts hold that if the government or one of its agents coerce the confession in some way it must be suppressed. That doesn’t apply here. Brennan gave his confession to another student, not the police.

Courts are split on whether a confession that was coerced by a private citizen should be suppressed. Some say any coerced confession should be suppressed. Others say only a confession that was coerced by the government should be suppressed. But, again, that doesn’t apply here.

Dr. Brennan’s statement was one that he gave voluntarily to another student while they were attending boarding school. There was no hint of coercion. And there is no split among the courts that a confession what was not coerced should not be suppressed.

Ms. Ellis could also have tried to suppress the evidence because it was a statement made by someone who was not in court and which is being offered to prove the truth of the matter asserted, i.e., that Dr. Brennan killed his girlfriend. You know, hearsay. Sadie didn’t even try that one.

When most states defined hearsay, the definition specifically excluded the statement of a party in the case that is contrary to the party’s position at trial — such as a confession by a defendant who pled not guilty would be. New York didn’t go that route. In New York, the statement of a party opponent is still hearsay. However, it is one of the exceptions to New York’s hearsay rule. So not hearsay or an exception to the hearsay rule, either way the confession would be admissible.

The judge quite correctly ruled that Dr. Brennan’s statement should not be suppressed. So the defense team’s best shot fired blanks. Then, just when things looked darkest for Dr. Brennan, they got worse. The police found the murder weapon.

Seems back in 2006 there was a fire in the 93rd Precinct and the evidence there was moved to the Staten Island police warehouse. Let me get this straight; the evidence was lost because the police forgot where they put it? That’s dubious at best and this show was never at its best.

Police have to keep track of what’s called the chain of custody on all evidence. They have to know where evidence is at all times so that when it’s offered in a trial, the police can establish that the evidence is actually what it purports to be and hasn’t been tampered with. Toward this end, evidence is kept in secure lockers and has to be signed out when someone wants to examine it. That way there’s a paper trial detailing where the evidence was at all times and who had it.

So when the police moved the evidence from the 93rd Precinct to the Staten Island warehouse, they would have made records of the move so that the evidence’s chain of custody could be maintained. The police would have known at all times where the murder weapon was and would have been able to put their hands on it anytime they wanted it.

Sadie tried to exclude the murder weapon. She argued to the judge that its chain of custody had been broken when it was lost in the warehouse. The prosecutor argued that a chain of custody breach goes to weight not admissibility. Wrong!

If the defense can establish that there was a break in the evidentiary chain of custody so that the evidence might not be what it purports to be or might have been tampered with, that means that the evidence is not admissible. Chain of custody arguments go to admissibility, not weight. Any prosecutor would know that; except, perhaps, the one who didn’t think to look in the police warehouse that all the other stuff from the 93rd Precinct was moved to after the fire.

And that’s what happened in the first episode of Doubt. I can’t tell you what happened in the second because I, like most of America, didn’t watch it. One episode was bad enough. I can only suffer so much for my art.

Martha Thomases: Iron Fist and America’s Original Sin

If racism is America’s original sin, it’s not surprising that racial issues hold such a central place in our popular entertainments. It also affects our response to these entertainments.

Especially mine, and especially this weekend.

It started with a semi-binge of the Iron Fist, the new Marvel Television series on Netflix. All sorts of people were angry that the actor cast as the lead, Danny Rand, is white. While this is faithful to the source material, it would not have been blasphemous to cast an Asian-American actor. The character, as written in the television series, is not particularly white.

He is, however, really boring. I don’t know if this is the fault of the actor or the script. There are so many things that are not discussed that might fill in the characters’ inner lives. What does Rand Industries do? Do they make things? Do they just do real estate deals? Why does Danny run around like a crazy person instead of asking questions? How do they get from Gramercy Park to Chinatown so quickly? Did they chase each other through subway tunnels?

Maybe these details are filled out in later episodes. I expect to finish the series, although probably not until after I watch Dave Chappelle.

In other words, while I understand that race might be an issue for some viewers, it was not the most notable part of my experience.

I also finally saw Get Out, an amazingly brilliant movie. Race relations are absolutely the point of this movie. It offers a view of the world as experienced by African-Americans that I don’t get to see very often. It also offers a view of white people that I, a white person, rarely get to see. It’s funny and frightening and very important while never making me think I’m doing something that’s good for you. Broccoli should have such a good script.

Should we only have people of color as leads when the story is about their particular subgroup? I don’t think so. There are all sorts of stories that can be filled with people of any race, gender or ethnicity. For example, I love Jesse Martin on The Flash, and I am sure he was cast because he is Jesse Martin, not because they needed an African-American in the part. That said, the fact that he is black adds a definite je ne sais quoi to the series. So does his height. So does his goatee.

My ComicMix colleague Joe Corallo and I have spent hours arguing over these and related issues, usually consuming a good deal of tequila in the process. We have very different responses to the Aftershock series Alters. I really like it, and Joe likes it less than I do (although I think he’s coming around). I’m interested in the story the creative team is trying to tell, and Joe has less patience with the story than he does with the creative team. This is not an argument either one of us can win, because we like what we like and don’t like what we don’t like. Still, these are interesting reactions to have when a series is launched about a character who isn’t a straight cis white guy.

There are times when a character cannot be a straight cis white guy. There are times when a character must be a straight cis white guy. Most of the time, the only reason it matters to certain audiences are our cultural assumptions about which people are worthy of stories.

Tweeks SuperFlash Duet

Musicals are life. And while we weren’t exactly caught up on both Supergirl and The Flash (though we’re told we really need to do that), we couldn’t miss the SuperFlash crossover event. Especially not with Broadway talents like Darren Criss, Jeremy Jordan, John Barrowman, Jesse L. Martin, Victor Garber and Glee alums Melissa Benoist & Grant Gustin!

Thing is, Maddy knew a little something about the Music Meister’s first appearance (played by Neil Patrick Harris, who also beat Darren Criss to the punch at playing Hedwig) on Batman: The Brave and the Bold, so we couldn’t help but compare the two musical episodes.

Could this CW musical event stacked with all our favorites be better than an animated episode featuring Black Canary singing about her love for Batman? Watch the video & find out.

Vin Diesel’s xXx: Return of Xander Cage comes home May 2

 

HOLLYWOOD, Calif.  – Hailed as “a crazy, stunt-filled action spectacular” (Scott Mendelson, Forbes) and “a shot of pure adrenaline” (Joey Nolfi, Entertainment Weekly), xXx: RETURN OF XANDER CAGE x-plodes on 4K Ultra HD Combo Pack, Blu-ray Combo Pack, DVD and On Demand May 16, 2017 from Paramount Home Media Distribution.  X-cited fans can be the first to get it two weeks early on Digital HD May 2.

When a group of lethal mercenaries steal a hi-tech weapon that poses a global threat, the world needs superspy Xander Cage (Vin Diesel).  Recruited back into action, Xander leads a team of death-defying adrenaline junkies on a mission to kick some ass, save the day, and look dope while doing it.  Packed with some of the most mind-blowing stunts ever caught on film, xXx: RETURN OF XANDER CAGE features a powerhouse international cast including Donnie Yen (Rogue One: A Star Wars Story), Deepika Padukone, Kris Wu, Ruby Rose (John Wick: Chapter 2), Tony Jaa (Furious 7), Nina Dobrev (TV’s “The Vampire Diaries”), and Samuel L. Jackson (Kong: Skull Island).

The xXx: RETURN OF XANDER CAGE 4K Ultra HD and Blu-ray Combo Packs are loaded with over an hour of action-packed special features, including in-depth  interviews with the all-star cast, plus a behind-the-scenes look at the film’s incredible stunts, locations and much more.  The film also boasts a Dolby Atmos® soundtrack* remixed specifically for the home theater environment to place and move audio anywhere in the room, including overhead.

xXx: Return of Xander Cage Blu-ray Combo Pack

The xXx: RETURN OF XANDER CAGE Blu-ray is presented in 1080p high definition with English Dolby Atmos (Dolby TrueHD compatible), French 5.1 Dolby Digital, Spanish 5.1 Dolby Digital, Portuguese 5.1 Dolby Digital and English Audio Description and English, English SDH, French, Spanish and Portuguese subtitles.  The DVD in the combo pack is presented in widescreen enhanced for 16:9 TVs with English 5.1 Dolby Digital, French 5.1 Dolby Digital, Spanish 5.1 Dolby Digital and English Audio Description and English, French, Spanish and Portuguese subtitles.  The combo pack includes access to a Digital HD copy of the film as well as the following:

Blu-ray

  • Feature film in high definition
  • Bonus Content:
    • Third Time’s the Charm: Xander Returns
    • Rebels, Tyrants & Ghosts: The Cast
    • Opening Pandora’s Box: On Location
    • I Live for This Sh#t!: Stunts
    • Gag Reel

DVD

  • Feature film in standard definition

xXx: Return of Xander Cage 4K Ultra HD Combo Pack

Fans can enjoy the ultimate viewing experience with the 4K Ultra HD Combo Pack, which includes the Blu-ray detailed above, as well as an Ultra HD Disc presented in 4K Ultra HD with English Dolby Atmos (Dolby TrueHD compatible), French 5.1 Dolby Digital, Spanish 5.1 Dolby Digital, Portuguese 5.1 Dolby Digital and English Audio Description with English, English SDH, French, Spanish and Portuguese subtitles. The Combo Pack also includes access to a Digital HD copy of the film.

xXx: Return of Xander Cage Single-Disc DVD

The single-disc DVD is presented in widescreen enhanced for 16:9 TVs with English 5.1 Dolby Digital, French 5.1 Dolby Digital, Spanish 5.1 Dolby Digital and English Audio Description and English, French, Spanish and Portuguese subtitles.  The disc includes the feature film in standard definition.

Paramount Pictures and Revolution Studios present an RK Films and One Race Films production, a D.J.Caruso film Vin Diesel “xXx: Return of Xander Cage.”  Donnie Yen, Deepika Padukone, Kris Wu, Ruby Rose, Tony Jaa, Nina Dobrev with Toni Collette and Samuel L. Jackson.  Casting by Anne McCarthy and Kellie Roy.  Music by Brian Tyler and Robert Lydecker.  Costume designer Kimberly Tillman.  Editors Jim Page, ACE and Vince Filippone.  Production designer Jon Billington.  Director of photography Russell Carpenter, ASC.  Co-producer Marla Levine.  Executive producers Vince Totino, Scott Hemming, Rick Kidney, Gloria Borders and Zack Roth.  Produced by Joe Roth, p.g.a., Jeff Kirschenbaum, p.g.a., Vin Diesel, p.g.a. and Samantha Vincent, p.g.a.  Based on characters created by Rich Wilkes.  Written by F. Scott Frazier.   Directed by D.J. Caruso.

xXx: RETURN OF XANDER CAGE
Street Date: May 2, 2017 (Digital HD), May 16, 2017 (4K Ultra HD, Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD)
U.S. Rating: PG-13 for extended sequences of gunplay and violent action, and for sexual material and language
Canadian Rating: 14A violence, language may offend

* To experience Dolby Atmos at home, a Dolby Atmos enabled AV receiver and additional speakers are required, or a Dolby Atmos enabled sound bar; however, Dolby Atmos soundtracks are also fully backward compatible with traditional audio configurations and legacy home entertainment equipment.

Dennis O’Neil: Authority Figures Are Often Full Of…

Pay attention now. There’s a lesson to be learned here today and you should believe what I’m about to write, but we’ll get to that later… after we produce some evidence.

Here’s the lesson – in italics to emphasize its importance: Authority figures are often full of shit.

I’m not saying all authority figures are wicked per se. They are, after all, a gift of evolution and anything that evolution offers has a reason for being. But keep your skepticism at the ready when visiting the experts, especially if they’re speaking outside of their specialties.

You might want to heed a brain surgeon’s recommendation regarding your gray matter, but pass on his political opinions.

And about those specialties: be at least a tad skeptical there, too. A few months a medical specialist with the white jacket and the framed certificates on the wall – the whole package – gave Marifran a pretty alarming diagnosis. She accepted it – he’s the doctor – and we got on with our lives. Then the lovely Perri Pivovar suggested we visit a university-affiliated clinic that specializes in the kind of illness Mari allegedly had. But she didn’t. A thorough examination revealed no trace of the illness, just some residual damage from a stroke Mari had seven or so years ago, eminently treatable.

Now, that evidence. But first: by some criteria I’m an authority. No kidding. Not a claim I’d make for myself, but over the years I’ve occasionally worked as an editor and a college professor, and those are authority-type jobs. So here is what this “authority” wrote last week:

“The best of them was Master of Kung Fu for which Roy Thomas had the bright idea of making his hero the son of Fu Manchu, a master

The only problem here is, Roy did not create Master of Kung Fu. That chore was handled in 1972 by Steve Englehart and Jim Starlin. It was published by Marvel Comics, of which you may have heard. Roy and Gil Kane created another martial artist hero: Iron Fist, a.k.a. Danny Rand, who first appeared in 1974 and was the subject of last week’s column and of a television series that may be streaming on a TV set near you if you’re a Netflix subscriber.

Now, I’m willing to affirm that everything in the preceding three paragraphs is true and the only reason you may have to doubt it is that it comes from someone who has admitted to being an authority and we have agreed, have we not, that authorities are inherently untrustworthy. What to do?

Perhaps you could join a cult? Scientology may have a few openings.

DC Super Hero Girls gets Original Film in May

 

BURBANK, CA (March 10, 2017) – Class is back in session at Super Hero High as Warner Bros. Home Entertainment and DC Entertainment bring you DC Super Hero Girls: Intergalactic Games, the second feature in the new, groundbreaking universe celebrating young girls! The Intergalactic Games are here and Super Hero High is facing off against Korugar Academy, with a little help from the most prominent DC Super Heroes and Super-Villains in the galaxy. DC Super Hero Girls: Intergalactic Games will be available on Digital HD starting May 9, 2017, and on DVD ($19.99 SRP) on May 23, 2017.

Special Features on the DC Super Hero Girls: Intergalactic Games Digital HD and DVD release include seven animated shorts. Additionally, exclusively on the DVD is the music video for the song “That’s My Girl” by powerhouse girl group Fifth Harmony.

Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Batgirl, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Bumblebee and Katana square off against Korugar Academy in the Intergalactic Games, but trouble is in the air as Lena Luthor takes advantage of the gathering of the Supers to enact her villainous plan. It’s up to the DC Super Hero Girls to fight the forces of evil and protect their school. With Wonder Woman’s strength, Supergirl’s speed, Batgirl’s strategic knowledge, Poison Ivy’s ability to make things grow, Harley Quinn’s energy, Bumblebee’s ability to shrink, and Katana’s fearless personality… anything is possible.

From Warner Bros. Consumer Products and DC Entertainment, the DC Super Hero Girls universe encourages young girls, ages 6-12, to explore their own powers and strengths through original content, including all-new films, webisodes and TV specials. The franchise offers young fans inspiration and encourages teamwork, friendship and empowerment. DC Super Hero Girls: Intergalactic Games will connect with fans throughout the world via a treasure trove of digital content, including DCSuperHeroGirls.com, the DCSHG App, YouTube Channel and Instagram, as well as a global licensing and merchandising program.

DC Super Hero Girls: Intergalactic Games features some of the top voice actors in the industry.  Grey Griffin (Wonder Woman), Tara Strong (Harley Quinn/Poison Ivy), Anais Fairweather (Supergirl), Mae Whitman (Batgirl), Teala Dunn (Bumblebee), and Stephanie Sheh (Katana) join forces to portray the youthful versions of some of the world’s best known Super Heroes. Cecilia Aranovich Hamilton directs from a script by Shea Fontana.  Jennifer Coyle serves as producer with Sam Register as Executive Producer.

“We are thrilled to continue our dedication to empowering young girls with the release of our second DC Super Hero Girls title,” said Mary Ellen Thomas, WBHE Vice President, Family & Animation Marketing. “We feel that Intergalactic Games presents strong role models in a new, unique and fun way.”

DC Super Hero Girls:  Intergalactic Games – Special Features

  • “That’s My Girl” by Fifth Harmony Music Video (DVD only)
  • Animated Shorts
  • New Beginnings
  • Hero of the Month: Supergirl
  • Batgirl l vs. Supergirl
  • Quinn-tessential Harley
  • Doubles Trouble
  • Franken-Ivy
  • Dude, Where’s My Invisible Jet?

 

Box Office Democracy: The Belko Experiment

I saw two different kinds of ads for The Belko Experiment before it came out.  There were ads that were pitching it as a more or less straight up horror movie, and then there were ads that were selling it as a kind of comedy-horror hybrid.  It used a quote from an early review saying it was “Office Space meets Battle Royale” and while that’s a fine thing for a critic to say in a review as a shorthand to explain the movie, as an advertisement it’s completely inadequate.  The Belko Experiment isn’t funny and 99% of the time doesn’t even seem to be trying to be funny.  It’s more like Battle Royale meets a tall building or Battle Royale meets Die Hard if you want to just completely ignore anything that made Die Hard a good movie and just want to focus on the general aesthetic of the sets.

The titular experiment in Belko is: they seal an office building up and demand that the inhabitants kill each other in escalating quotas.  If you’ve ever seen any movie before, you can probably get from here to the end of the story.  There’s an everyman main character, a love interest, an antagonistic coworker, a friend coworker, a boss, and a bunch of nameless drones (allegedly 75 other office workers, but I would be absolutely floored if they had 80 actors in this movie).  The beats are all telegraphed, and there are no surprises bigger than something you knew was going to happen happening a few moments before you expected it.  This is a shockingly mundane affair for a movie with so much bloodshed.  There’s supposed to be some grand moral conflict here but it never gets off the ground; at best it’s like having the movie read you the Cliff’s Notes of Lord of the Flies.

I’m a bit of a baby when it comes to horror movies, so when I tell you that The Belko Experiment didn’t scare me at all I want you to understand what a low bar that was to limbo under.  Perhaps I’ve just been too desensitized to violence over the year but sudden violence is all this film has— and while I don’t love looking at gore, it isn’t inherently scary.  There’s very little tension events just sort of smoothly follow each other.  There’s no doubt in the outcome (although I suppose I never watch a slasher movie expecting the killer to win, those can still be scary) and so the audience is left watching the movie go from scene to scene checking off boxes until the finale can start.  The marketing for this film couldn’t wait to tell you that this was a James Gunn script, but left out that it was one from seven years ago that he didn’t think was strong enough to make on his own. The Belko Experiment needed two more drafts and a compelling antagonist to be even close to a competent horror movie.

The real shame is that John C. McGinley gets a stunning star turn in a movie that no one will remember in five years.  I doubt anyone who has really paid attention to his career is surprised that McGinley has the chops to steal a movie from a cast full of TV actors and marginal film stars, but he runs away with every scene he’s in.  He’s given a wide berth and no specific tethers to any sort of reality after the first ten minutes.  He’s the closest this movie has to the Joker— which is to say not particularly close, but a shining star compared to the dull surroundings.

The Belko Experiment is a Blumhouse film, and I think that explains a lot of what’s wrong with it.  It’s clearly made on a shoestring budget, and it very clearly doesn’t have the passionate backing of a big studio behind it.  What I don’t get is how this movie got put in to theaters instead of straight to digital.  This is an okay movie for $5 on iTunes or as part of Netflix or however the other Blumhouse movies get out there.  Nothing about The Belko Experiment feels like it has the polish of a feature film except the name James Gunn in the opening credits.

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