April Fools Day 2009 Round-Up, part 2

Oh my lord, how did I miss the work at TÖRdötCÖM?

Either let us drag you willingly into the future, or be impaled upon the shiny, metallic spikes of our awesomeness. We will bludgeon all resistance with our second generation Kindles and Sony PRC 505s, slicing and dicing holdouts and naysayers with our sleek, sexy MacBook Airs. Now bow before our awesome new lögö. Note the umlaut—it’s totally Spinal Tap, “but way cooler,” according to our latest focus group, a culturally diverse assortment of popular sixth graders (twelve-year-olds being widely recognized as the eternal harbingers of Cool).

It must be understood that we’re not cutting ties with the geek community—rather, we like to think of ourselves as ultra-modern alchemists, painstakingly turning geek into chic. We would never attempt to trivialize the concerns of fandom. At least the fandom we care about—the kind that hangs out at the Apple Store, and look like those kids from Twilight. Young, pasty, sexy, tech-savvy, secret vampires…yes, that pretty much sums up our new target audience.

Where do we start?

• Anne Rice Admits to Writing Jesus Fan Fiction
• Krofft Brothers Give Green Light to Re-Imagined Sigmund
• Fiction World Rocked as Woman Claims No Sexual Attraction to Neil Gaiman
• Fox Cancels Joss Whedon
• PETA Unsure About Furries
• Requiem for a Filker
• Propinquity Contrivance Re-read: The Deep Purloining
• TÖRdötCÖM’s plans for ebooks
• Doctor Whodism: How the Doctor Influenced the Dharma
• Released DHS Documents Confirm Battle Schools
• Spaceglam: Will It Last?
• Shocking Split Rocks Comics World: Alan Moore Abandoned by His Beard
• Troll Nation Protests Against Derogatory Internet Slang
• Ron Moore’s Alternate Endings to Battlestar Galactica
  
• And for obvious reasons, one of our favorites here: Quarrels and Quarterstaffs: Shakespeare’s Robin of Sherwood on DVD. Be warned– Mark Ryan and Ray Winstone are very dangerous men.