Description

All I wanted were my goddamned superpowers, not the power to devour the world!

Doctors say there’s magic in my blood. They insist I’m not a dud. But I’m graduating from Epicenter City’s Private Academy Of Superheroics, about to receive my license to fight crime in the streets and suburbs of ‘The Epicenter Of Disaster’, and I’ve still never squeezed out a single drop of magic.

How’d I get to my graduation ceremony without it? Am I a brilliant student with a passionate grasp of hero culture? A smooth-talker with a flare for stealing hearts and swaying minds? Perhaps a talented athlete who competes with my classmates by body building? Hah! I’m something far better: a dumb, annoying, overweight sack of potatoes. Yeah, no, I rode Library Girl’s and Swordplay’s coattails to the finish line.

Yes, my parents are pro heroes Library Girl and Swordplay: the brutal dynamic duo who beat and torture their villain adversaries, ignore orders, and ditch missions.

Nobody dared tell these monsters wearing human faces that their stupid son couldn’t graduate. Including me. They love me unconditionally, and I’m tired of letting them down. I need my powers now.

When villains raid our school, my talented and powerful classmates struggle to fend them off. Why am I the target?! Oh, to take me hostage and control my parents, that’s why. When my frantic flailing to stay out of everyone’s way goes horribly wrong, it finally happens.

I finally manifest my magic: the power to steal everyone else’s superpowers.

Hold up. Doesn’t that make me the devil from the God-Hero’s prophecy? How’s my incompetent ass supposed to defeat swordswoman girl-Jesus and devour the world?

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