Dumb Ass, by Michael Davis

DNA pioneer James Watson says blacks are genetically less smart. He told a UK newspaper whites are more intelligent. Watson, the man who along with Francis Crick won the Nobel Prize for discovering the double-helix structure of DNA, is facing a HUGE backlash after claiming that black people are genetically less intelligent than whites.

 

I don’t know what the uproar is. He’s right. Well he’s right when it comes to me. I’m sure he’s smarter than I am.

Or is he?

I’m a pretty smart guy but I doubt if I’m smarter than a Nobel Prize winning scientist.

Or am I?

Mr. Watson tells the world that black people are dumber than white people and expected kudos from the world for his insight.

That’s like me saying Hitler was a hero and expecting a parade for my words of wisdom. Some small minded sick fools may believe that, but just how stupid would they be to say it?

Really, really, REALLY, stupid!

The second Watson said what he did, organizations, universities and various funding sources dropped him faster than Puppy Chow would have dropped Michael Vick as their spokesman.

What he said was pretty dumb, stupid, dim, dense, thick, slow, brainless, dim-witted, obtuse, and simply (dare I say it?) unintelligent.

In an effort to make my views crystal clear I will address the rest of this column to Mr. Watson directly. Before I get started, I think calling you Mr. Watson is too formal. Perhaps I should call you something else since I want to afford you every courtesy, just like the courtesy you have afforded African Americans. Let’s see, what can I call you? What will give you the same respect that you showed black people with your comments? It has to be something grand. Something that will do you justice.

How about I call you (wait for it) DUMB ASS!

Shall I call you Mr.Ass, or do you prefer just Dumb? OK, I’ll just call you Dumb.

In any case, what were you thinking? Did you think that winning the Nobel Prize would mean that people would simply take whatever you said as gospel?

Damn, Dumb, you sure are stupid. I mean come on, how frickin’ dumb do you have to be to make a statement like that?

Pretty frickin’ dumb, Dumb. That was way dumber than most of the African Americans I know. Shoot, that was dumber than most white people I know. In fact the only race of people I know that is more stupid than you is Hobbits and that’s because they are not real.

Wait a sec, you know what? Even if Hobbits are not real they are smarter than you. I bet you would have tried to keep the ring.

Maybe you are not stupid, maybe you just said a stupid thing. I’ve done that… often.

But then again I don’t have a Nobel Prize. The closest I’ve gotten is being named twice to Hero Illustrated 100 most powerful people in comics – and they went out of business. Now if I would have said Hero Illustrated was went out of business because I was black that would have been stupid, not as stupid as what you said but pretty stupid. Oh wait; there is a school that named their auditorium after me. That’s not a Nobel Prize but that’s pretty darn good for a Negro, eh, Dumb?

I’ve said many times in this column that I’m a product of New York City housing projects. I have also mentioned a few times I have a PhD (no, Dumb that does not stand for Pretty Happy Darkie). I came out of the projects and have accomplished some pretty cool things in my life. These accomplishments took a certain amount of smarts. I wonder how long you would have lasted in the projects as a kid? I wonder how smart you would have been there? I don’t think you could survive the projects as a kid or even now. It takes a serious kind of smarts to survive that kind of environment. In fact I would think that it takes different kind of smart in every environment. Do you think what you said is a fair assessment of all types of environments? Did you think at all?

I guess you have figured out I’m a wee bit miffed at you, Dumb. Yeah, I’m very upset that you said what you said. However, I support your right to say it. Yeah you heard me, I support your right to say it. You see Dumb, we live in a free society and you have the right to say what you want. I’m told you live in England and you also live in a free society. Hey, Dumb, before I go on here’s something I like to do every 4th of July. I go into British pubs and yell at the top of my lungs, “How you like the Colonies now?”

Not funny? How would you know? You’re a Dumb Ass.

In any case, as I was saying, because we both live in a free society I support your right to free speech. I do. But when you are talking about an entire race of people being “Genetically Less Smart” you should know that even in a free society there are just some things you just don’t say. As an example when your wife, girlfriend or imaginary lover asks you; “Do I look fat in this dress?” What do you say? Do you say yes and follow it up with a “Fat people are dumber than skinny people?” That would not surprise me, Dumb.

Here’s my bottom line, there is no way you or anyone else on this planet can prove that Black people are “Genetically Less Smart” and in fact considering all people are made from the same DNA your findings to me are little more than an opinion. Granted you have a right to your opinion.

But so do I.

To paraphrase a quote I read somewhere: If I had to identify, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that reason would be people like you.

 

In other words: as smart as you are, you’re an idiot.

Michael Davis is a comics creator and the founder of the Guardian Line series of comics as well as being a television producer and writer. He was a co-founder of Milestone Comics and his artwork has appeared in Wasteland, Green Arrow: Shado, Green Hornet and The Question, among others.