‘Zombies are Americans, Too!’ Minneapolis Zombies Sue Police Over Arrest

The 2006 Minneapolis Aquatennial – an annual festival held
every July – had some unexpected visitors. A group of seven zombies (in this
case, people dressed as zombies with makeup to help them appear to be the
walking dead) went through the shopping zone and shambled around in protest of
blatant consumerism – and what’s a zombie to do? It must be tough to try and
subside on canned pork brains when there are so many healthy, living humans
buying hoodies at the local Urban Outfitters.

Regardless, many shoppers were nonplussed by the shenanigans
of these civilly disobedient zombies, and though there were no injuries,
someone called 911. Apparently (according to the article at startribune.com)
the responding officers approached the small group of zombies – which were not
numerous enough to really be called a horde – and asked them to stay clear of
bystanders and refrain from broadcasting music or offers of brains. It seems
that these peaceful zombies agreed, and decided to go watch a high school drum
show. According to reports, the Minneapolis police later became concerned about
the possibility that the zombies were actually members of a dangerous gang from
Washington State (no word on whether they are from a town called Forks or if
they sparkle) and went to relocate the zombies and ID them.

Unfortunately, as is often the case with zombies, some of
them were not carrying identification, and they were arrested and detained for
two days. Feeling that their first amendment rights had been violated. A judge
ruled in favor of the police, and the group of zombies appealed. The appellate
court has now ruled that the group had a right to express themselves, and that
the police did not clearly define the charge of disorderly conduct to suit the
situation. The plaintiffs are seeking $50,000 each for their ordeal, and the
City Attorney has stated that she is preparing for the battle, though she made
no mention of a cricket stick or a flamethrower.

The Star Tribune article states that the Minneapolis police
are not returning requests for comment on this story. I think it is safe to
speculate that this case may have been the reason I was unable to get a reply about
the city’s zombie preparedness when I was researching urban zombie response plans
last summer. However, it seems that much of the city is just fine with the idea
of zombies in their neighborhood.

Minneapolis has a thriving zombie scene, full of exciting
nightlife for the undead. In fact, the Zombie Pub Crawl originated there in
October of 2005, and last year’s event boasted upward of 6,000 “undead”
participants stumbling from bar to bar and imbibing spirits. Minneapolis is
also home to it’s own zombie theme bar, Donnie Dirk’s Zombie Den, where the
staff all dress as Shaun of the Dead and there is a chainsaw behind glass in
case of zombie emergencies. I tried to reach the proprietors, but apparently
the establishment is closed on Mondays. No doubt there will be plenty of
zombies enjoying the “happy horror” in weeks to come as this zombie victory is
celebrated.

(Art by Doug Savage.)