Monthly Archive: March 2010

Saturday Morning Cartoons: The Chuck Norris Karate Kommando Kartoon

I know we’ve shared some “funny” versions of your favorite cartoon shows in the past, but folks, today is not about jokes. It’s about roundhouse kicks to the face. It’s about flying fists of justice. It’s about sumo-wrestlers and kids who shout “Too Much!”. It’s about a guy named “Super Ninja” voiced by someone who sounds a bit like Cobra Commander. This morning, ComicMix is proud forced scared to honored to present a cartoon so good, it only needed to be on for 5 episodes.

Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos, the cartoon so good that it caused the Challenge of the Go-Bots to become the Transformers, and He-Man to become Sheera.

Stan Lee’s Oscar Campaign

First, we saw all the ads that said Stan was back. (We all knew that he’d never gone away.)

Then Stan Lee stopped by ComicMix and gave us little hints as to his new projects.

He even showed up on The Big Bang Theory this week.

But now we know the real reason for his increased visibility– Stan’s gunning for an Oscar.

Why not? They gave Alfred Hitchcock one for doing the same thing.

Review: ‘Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls’ by Steve Hockensmith

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls

by Steve Hockensmith
Illustrated by Patrick Arrasmith
Quirk Books; March 2010; $12.95

 

A year ago, Seth Grahame-Smith and Quirk Books initiated the
Quirk Classics series with the bestselling Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which
blended the text of Jane Austen’s classic [[[Pride and Prejudice]]]with new scenes.
The result was part romantic comedy of manners, part over-the-top action
thriller in which the bloodthirsty Bennet sisters used their highly trained
martial skills to confront zombies and ninjas, in between searching for
husbands. Other authors in the series moved on with[[[Sense and Sensibility]]] and [[[Sea Monsters]]] and the soon-to-be published [[[Android Karenina]]]. Mr. Grahame-Smith has since moved on to other undead pursuits, but here is author Steve Hockensmith to take up the slack with this prequel to P & P & Z, set four years before those fateful events.

After a lull of many years, zombies (or, as they’re known by
the more genteel, the “dreadfuls,” “unmentionables,” or the “sorry stricken”) have
once again infested England. When Mr. Ford, Meryton’s apothecary, sits up at
his own funeral and begins a frantic search for brains, Mr. Oscar Bennet renews
his once forsworn vow to be a zombie-slaying warrior, and attempts to fulfill
his broken promise to raise his daughters in that tradition.

The five Bennet daughters, previously brought up to be
ladies, not warriors, show some initial resistance to their father’s decision.
Almost immediately, they confront social ostracism; however, they also gain
self-confidence under the harsh tutelage of the handsome, mysterious Master Geoffrey
Hawksworth, who rapidly (somewhat too rapidly, if truth be told), turns these
untried girls into katana-wielding fighters. Putting aside her previous distaste for violence, Elizabeth begins to discover the true spirit of the
warrior within herself and her sisters. She must also sort out her feelings for
Hawksworth as well as the extremely odd Dr. Keckilpenny, who believes that
zombies can be “cured” through behavioral modification. (The reader, of course,
knows from the outset that both of these men must be wanting in at least some
respect; how else will Elizabeth have a free heart for Mr. Darcy?) Meanwhile, Jane
finds herself in the unwelcome role of bodyguard to the lecherous, lazy, and
cowardly Lord Lumpley, the owner of Netherfeld (the future residence of Mr.
Bingley). Lumpley has decidedly unsavory plans for Jane, and is concealing an
unpleasant secret of his own.

The original P & P & Z was an amusing satire, and
for the most part, the violence was played for laughs. In contrast, Hockensmith
chooses to explore in greater depth and with a certain amount of seriousness an
issue I brought up in my review of the original book: how does one maintain an
appropriate balance between the strictures of social propriety and the development
of killer instincts, required if the zombie invasion is to be defeated? Although
there are substantial touches of farce, the book is surprisingly poignant in
many places, and truly seems to mourn Elizabeth’s and Jane’s loss of innocence as
these two girls leave their sheltered life and face danger and heartbreak for
the first time, becoming strong women in the process. He even manages to make
Lydia somewhat more sympathetic by the end, which I didn’t think was possible.

Hockensmith has clearly read both the source material and P
& P & Z
carefully, and it shows; actually, his attempt to provide a
background for a throwaway joke in P & P & Z (the Bennet daughters’
pastime of catching a deer and kissing it) drags on for far too long. He does introduce a glaring (but intriguing) inconsistency: he makes it
possible to prevent someone from becoming a zombie by chopping off the bitten
extremity, which leads to some freshly absurd scenarios. However, if that were true in P
& P & Z
, than why doesn’t Charlotte Lucas consider amputation when a zombie
bites her on the leg, rather than succumbing to the twin scourges of becoming
undead and wife to the tedious Mr. Collins?

He also suggests that zombies are only a problem in England.
That being so, why is it that the best methods of combating them are sourced in
Japan and China? And given the zombie plague is so pervasive that it outweighs
any danger posed by Napoleon, how is it that the Bennet daughters can be spared
to travel to China for training, as they clearly do between the two books?

But such quibbles are only for the most avid of nitpickers,
who might also question the need for this volume at all, given that it has
strayed substantially away from the initial conceit of mashing up a classic
text with new scenes. Why not put aside such foolish qualms, sit back, and
enjoy the gory ride?

P.S. Visit the Quirk Classics message board, mention that
you read a review of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls at
ComicMix and link back here; you’ll be entered to win one of 50 Quirk Classics
Prize Packs, which include an advance copy of the book, a poster, audiobooks of
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, and
more.

Amy Goldschlager is an editor and reviewer.

Publishers who
would like to submit books for review should contact ComicMix through the usual
channels or email Amy Goldschlager directly at amy.goldschlager (at) gmail
(dot) com

The Point Radio: Explaining WEEDS To A Ten Year Old?

Alexander Gould (Shane) is one of the biggest parts of the Showtime series WEEDS. Over the last five se4asons, his character has been embroiled in some pretty heavy storylines. So, how did this all work for Alex who was only ten when he started the series? He explains what is was like growing up on cable, plus GL makes it to 3-D, MASS EFFECT is headed to the troops and somebody is still interested in THE SHADOW.


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The Wailing Wall-Crawler

Caption contest:

  • I understand he’s trying to get out of a bad deal with the devil, but this is a bit of a distance to travel.
  • Parker’s a Jewish name? What was it before?
  • Well, now we know why how he could date Kitty Pryde…

Add your own in the comments.

Nick Simmons Apologizes for ‘Homage’

incarnate-6224599Radical Comics removed it’s comic, Incarnate, from this week’s pull lists, after a Tetsuo-sized avalanche of displeasure emanated from the internet and it’s legion of Otaku. It seems penciler/writer/creator Nick Simmons (you might know his dad, Gene, from the Dr. Pepper commercials…) has paid a little bit to much homage to various Manga series. Covered extensively on Livejournal’s ‘Bleachness’, and reported on by iCv2, the New York Times, as well as Geeks of Doom and numerous others around the web, Simmons’ Incarnate has been under the microscope for a little under a week now. The series (only a 3 issue mini-series) shows uncanny similarities between it and the Manga series Bleach, as well as (to a lesser extent) Hellsing. Some fans even went as far as to note certain plot beats were appropriated from White Wolf’s Vampire: The Masquerade. Everything from character design, to panel layouts, and even dialogue have been claimed to be copies from their respective sources.

In response Simmons released a statement Monday through his publicist:

“Like most artists I am inspired by work I admire. There are certain similarities between some of my work and the work of others. This was simply meant as an homage to artists I respect, and I definitely want to apologize to any Manga fans or fellow Manga artists who feel I went too far. My inspirations reflect the fact that certain fundamental imagery is common to all Manga. This is the nature of the medium.

I am a big fan of Bleach, as well as other Manga titles. And I am certainly sorry if anyone was offended or upset by what they perceive to be the similarity between my work and the work of artists that I admire and who inspire me.”

Now, let’s be fair, for fairness’ sake. The world of comics is rife with appropriation and homage. Those who don’t find similarities between Superman, Hyperion, The Sentry, Supreme, Samaritan, and The Plutonian might want to clean off their bifocals. Thanks largely in part to the current industry trend of gigantic crossover mega-events, homage covers are beyond trendy. Where might Arthur Suydam be today if not for his Marvel Zombies covers (Ok, he’d probably be doing just fine, but still…)? Where might DC be if a hero can’t cradle another dead hero in their arms? Heck, Kurt Busiek’s Astro City is imprinted by Homage Comics! Given the mountain of evidence collected by the fans though, Nick Simmons’ series might have been given a direct ticket to the quarter bin. Nick Simmons won’t get to collect $200 when he passes GO either. But we’re sure his father might be able to loan him a few bucks. So long as someone buys a couple extra Kiss Kaskets.

So, ComicMixers, we implore you to discuss! Did Nick go to far? How far is too far when it comes to homage? And why does Superman seem to have more analogs than changes of costume?

Review: ‘Bitch Slap’ on DVD

rsz-bitch-slap-2007575From the 1950s through the 1970s many a producer could make a nice career out of producing low budget exploitation films. Roger Corman turned his studio into a training ground and provided us with a generation of terrific filmmakers. Many who make films today were heavily influenced by these films and Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez paid homage with their [[[Grindhouse]]] extravaganza.

Exploitation movies are critic-proof. They will find their audiences thanks to the copious amounts of blood, senseless violence, and frequent displays of cleavage. But, for the most part, their time has come and gone as roadhouse promotions and drive-in theatres have gone the way of the nickelodeon. As a result, you have to admire anyone who sets out to make one these days.

Bitch Slap, out this week on DVD from 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment, is the latest such attempt at recreating a lost genre. Rick Jacobson and Eric Gruendemann cut their teeth on [[[Hercules]]] and [[[Xena]]] and have longed to take some of their syndicated television tendencies and mix them with an over-the-top exploitation film. They cowrote the script and Jacobson directed. Then they set out to bring in their pals (Lucy Lawless, Kevin Sorbo, and Renée O’Connor) to make cameo appearances in support of the stars.

You can see their influences through the clever opening and closing title sequences, which are nicely handled.

The movie features three curvaceous, bosomy beauties — Julia Voth, Erin Cummings, America Olivo – stuck out on the desert and caught up in a violent quest for diamonds and guns. Chasing them or trying to run away from them is another TV vet, Michael Hurst.

The movie cuts between the current action in the hot sun and is constantly flashing back to show how the stripper, the killer and the corporate powerbroker got caught up in this adventure. Clearly, the intention is to have fun and to constantly surprise the audience as we see things progress bringing them to this point.

Unfortunately, it’s an underwhelming mess. The script is too clever for its own good and leaves things confusing and poorly laid out. And while it’s interesting to watch these characters come to known one another, building some level of trust, there’s not enough of a spine to really make you care.

Instead, you’re there for the T&A and frankly, the trio remains clothed throughout despite the sex scenes and the times they pour water on each other or wrestle on the ground. The violence is pretty much as you expect with poor makeup and squib effects. After a while, I got bored watching the endless action despite nice stunt coordination from veteran Zoë Bell.

Much of the film’s flashbacks were shot using green screen technology and the backgrounds don’t seamlessly blend with the actors, adding the cheesy look. 

The movie comes complete with a nice four-part behind-the-scenes documentary that shows how much affection went into the project despite the poor results. We see the first cast read through as they introduce themselves and each actor recounts how they got their part. In many ways, this was more engaging than the film itself, especially as they struggled to work within a limited budget and shooting schedule.

The movie had a limited release back in January, earning all of $16,788 at the box office. This DVD is intended to find a more appreciative audience and comes unrated which has to be for the language – certainly not the sex or violence.

(more…)

Stan’s Here! ComicMix Talks With Stan Lee About His New Project for BOOM!

stan-lee-6059123BOOM! finally made their teased-out Stan Lee announcement yesterday morning. And despite calls from 1000+ reporters, my 87-years-young friend stopped by to answer a few questions. Briefly.

Cliff: Were the characters and back stories for the new POW-BOOM joint venture actually created by you?

Stan: Yep!

Cliff: Do you still think it’s important for a hero’s alter ego to have an Achilles heel?

Stan: Yep… Usually.

Cliff: At what stage are you at with the projects that you’re doing with Walt Disney Studios?

Stan: All different stages. Script. Development. Production.

Cliff: When I was with IDT Entertainment, you shared a letter with us that you received from Paul McCartney pitching you a character. How often do you get pitches from fellow celebs?

Stan: Occassionally. An average of three or four a year.

Cliff: Now that you’re hitting middle age, do you have any intention of slowing down?

Stan: Not if I can help it! Excelsior!

Visit author Clifford Meth at thecliffordmethod.blogspot.com.

‘Zombies are Americans, Too!’ Minneapolis Zombies Sue Police Over Arrest

The 2006 Minneapolis Aquatennial – an annual festival held
every July – had some unexpected visitors. A group of seven zombies (in this
case, people dressed as zombies with makeup to help them appear to be the
walking dead) went through the shopping zone and shambled around in protest of
blatant consumerism – and what’s a zombie to do? It must be tough to try and
subside on canned pork brains when there are so many healthy, living humans
buying hoodies at the local Urban Outfitters.

Regardless, many shoppers were nonplussed by the shenanigans
of these civilly disobedient zombies, and though there were no injuries,
someone called 911. Apparently (according to the article at startribune.com)
the responding officers approached the small group of zombies – which were not
numerous enough to really be called a horde – and asked them to stay clear of
bystanders and refrain from broadcasting music or offers of brains. It seems
that these peaceful zombies agreed, and decided to go watch a high school drum
show. According to reports, the Minneapolis police later became concerned about
the possibility that the zombies were actually members of a dangerous gang from
Washington State (no word on whether they are from a town called Forks or if
they sparkle) and went to relocate the zombies and ID them.

Unfortunately, as is often the case with zombies, some of
them were not carrying identification, and they were arrested and detained for
two days. Feeling that their first amendment rights had been violated. A judge
ruled in favor of the police, and the group of zombies appealed. The appellate
court has now ruled that the group had a right to express themselves, and that
the police did not clearly define the charge of disorderly conduct to suit the
situation. The plaintiffs are seeking $50,000 each for their ordeal, and the
City Attorney has stated that she is preparing for the battle, though she made
no mention of a cricket stick or a flamethrower.

The Star Tribune article states that the Minneapolis police
are not returning requests for comment on this story. I think it is safe to
speculate that this case may have been the reason I was unable to get a reply about
the city’s zombie preparedness when I was researching urban zombie response plans
last summer. However, it seems that much of the city is just fine with the idea
of zombies in their neighborhood.

Minneapolis has a thriving zombie scene, full of exciting
nightlife for the undead. In fact, the Zombie Pub Crawl originated there in
October of 2005, and last year’s event boasted upward of 6,000 “undead”
participants stumbling from bar to bar and imbibing spirits. Minneapolis is
also home to it’s own zombie theme bar, Donnie Dirk’s Zombie Den, where the
staff all dress as Shaun of the Dead and there is a chainsaw behind glass in
case of zombie emergencies. I tried to reach the proprietors, but apparently
the establishment is closed on Mondays. No doubt there will be plenty of
zombies enjoying the “happy horror” in weeks to come as this zombie victory is
celebrated.

(Art by Doug Savage.)

Events around and about tonight, March 2, 2010

  • He’s too humble to promote it himself, but our own Marc Alan Fishman will be performing at Stand-Up Comics, 3429 Ridge Road, Lansing, IL tonight at 8 PM. Ask him about the thing he does with the strawberry jam and the gargoyle statue.
  • And representing Brooklyn: