Mike Gold: Stupid Decisions
Last week my colleague Ms. Thomases and I were sharing a movie experience at a Manhattan multi-mega-complex. Running the gauntlet of promotional material we passed the familiar poster advertising the franchise-saving event, Man of Steel. Once we were settled in the theater and the obnoxiously repulsive commercials started playing â most were for television shows â I mentioned to Martha that the new management of Warner Bros. hasnât truly green-lit the Justice League movie. âTheyâre waiting to see how Man of Steel works out.â
Her Oh-Oh Sense flared up. While both of us were hoping for a killer Superman flick, nothing we have seen thus far has promoted any sense of confidence. Do we need another origin story filled with the Els and the Kents? Most of us have cable teevee or DVDs or streaming video or all three, and thereâs plenty of filmed presentations of that origin story. My favorite remains the one from the 1950s teevee series where Our Miss Brooksâ Phillip Boynton played Jor-El while wearing Buster Crabbeâs tunic from the Flash Gordon serials⦠but thatâs just me and a few other decrepit baby-boomers. The rest of you probably never heard of Professor Boynton, and some of you havenât seen the Flash Gordon serials. You should fix that.
Iâm certainly willing to give it a shot and Iâll enter the theater with all the optimism I can muster. It has a good cast, and Michael Shannon certainly has the gravitas to be a great General Zod. But thereâs one problem that Iâm unlikely to get past.
That damn costume.
OK. Iâm sure somebody in Hollywood said âThat guy wears his underpants outside his leotard! Itâs stupid! Weâve must fix that!â Actually, itâs an old joke. But Superman is a genuine American icon, right up there with the flag, apple pie and third-world health care. Whereas we can fix the latter (but wonât in my lifetime) and the second is fattening, you do not change the flag. You do not change the Coca-Cola bottle, even if theyâre reduced to printing a silhouette of it on their cans. You do not give Donald Duck Prozac, you do not copy Johnny Carsonâs golf swing on your teevee show.
Iâm not suggesting things cannot change. But thereâs a reason why certain things reach iconic status. Itâs like granting historical status to New Yorkâs Grand Central Terminal (100 years old last week) or Chicagoâs Rookery (Daniel Burnham rocks!). Society has deemed Supermanâs trunks appropriate, dating back to the time Joe Shuster employed the imagery of the 1930s circus strongman for the Man of Steelâs costume. We may not have very many circus sideshows these days, but we do have Superman.
Besides, if thereâs one stupid element in the big guyâs costume, itâs that cape. One of Clark Kentâs undisclosed superpowers must be a psionic ability to keep that thing from flapping over his face while in flight, or doing an Isadora Duncan on Lois Lane when they fly out to the Fortress of Solitude for a weekend of melting the crystals.
But I would not drop that cape, just like I wouldnât gawk at our flag and ask âgee, do we need all that red?â
Because Warner Bros. is the dog and its DC Entertainment is the tail, Supeâs trunkless costume debuted in the ever-changing yet never-evolving New 52. I get this: a lot more money is riding on the movie franchise than on the comic books. However, thereâs a reason why Superman has lasted 75 years â Man of Steel comes out pretty damn close to the actual 75th anniversary date â while other characters from that era that were more popular at the time (The Shadow, The Lone Ranger, Buck Rogers) have fallen out of favor. And that reason is wrapped in a red cape and red trunks.
When I see Man of Steel, Iâll have a hard time looking at the Big Guy and not thinking âJeez, these morons got it wrong!â
Sometimes, fixing a stupid idea⦠is a stupid idea.
THURSDAY: Dennis OâNeil
Wouldn’t it be funny if they have the scene where Superman is being led in handcuffs to a military installation and they just say, “Yeah, you can’t walk around like that,” hand him a pair of red trunks and say, “You’re good to go!”
Mike,
You do realize that nobody cares about this except those of us in the obsessive compulsive fan community and movie critics looking for something to bitch about, right? I’d wager that the average person can only name the S shield and the red cape, if quizzed on Superman’s costume. The really observant might be able to tell you that the color blue is there someplace. Even if they can remember the red trunks, the public just doesn’t care. Just like they don’t care about the variations on Batman’s costume used in movies and TV, or that the costumes in the first Xmen movie had never appeared in print before it hit theaters. Personally, I just want to see a good movie. A pair of red trunks won’t make or break the deal, for me.
“My favorite remains the one from the 1950s teevee series where Our Miss Brooks’ Phillip Boynton played Jor-El while wearing Buster Crabbe’s tunic from the Flash Gordon serials… but that’s just me and a few other decrepit baby-boomers.”
Count me as a decrepit baby-boomer I guess. The George Reeves Superman show remains one of the most influential elements of my life. It is why is started reading comics. Because I started reading comics I knew about Conan and then Arnold Schwarzenegger. And subsequently that Christopher Reeve was, like me, a skinny guy who started lifting weights when he got the Superman role. I started going to a gym to lift weights and that’s where I met the last three women I dated and I’ve been married to the third one for 27 years.
It all goes back to George Reeves who in my opinion was a sorely underrated actor. His death, whatever the circumstances of that were, is a tragedy. He would have been a sought-after guest of honor at comic and film conventions if only he had survived.
Still, I’m looking forward to Man of Steel even if they do have the costume wrong.
I’m 26 yrs old…and never really saw the George Reeves era or know who professor Boynton is….but one thing I.do know…is when I’m much older and in a new generation…ill be sure to keep in mind that when a new image of a superman or anything else for that matter ..is made or portrayed…ill be sure to keep in mind that its not for me or the decrepit baby boomers…but for the new kids and the new generation…and not up to keep the same old image and classic ways that im use to..and might just evolve to sumthin that’s “modern”..and tho it may not work for me..more than likely will work with the nee generation…I’m extremely excited about this.movie and absolutely loved the Christopher Reeve ones…but its bout time for sumthin New….and shits about to get REAL
Jim, I’m with you all the way.
Doug, Superman is such an American icon that I think many people will look at him in the movie and just feel something is wrong — somebody else in the party will say “where’s his underwear?” And if you go to the screening I’ll go to, that person might be me.
George, I remember the day Reeves died and I remember exactly where I was and how I felt. I had to explain to my younger friends that Superman didn’t die, just the actor — whose work, as Superman, endured for a half-century.
Don’t get me wrong: I hope MOS knocks it out of the park. I want to see the Superman movie that Superman deserves.
Don’t underestimate the perceptiveness of the younger generation. My fine young next door neighbor is 17 and is getting into super-hero movies (we go together, which, I swear, is keeping me young!), but has never read a comic. His immediate reaction when he saw the costume was that it is awful. He is also a ‘traditionalist” about Spider-Man’s costume. Bought the design from the original movies but has nothing good to say about the costime from the most recent film.