Okay, so she never played a heroine or a supervillain, but still, couldn’t you at least imagine that Joanne Woodward could have?
Today in 1960, Woodward received the very first star on the Hollywood walk of fame, toting an Oscar for her performance in The Three Faces of Eve. She currently resides in Westport, Connecticut with this other actor no one’s ever heard of named Paul–what is it? Newman? Neuman? I forget.
Today in 1996, the largest one-day online event (to that date) occurred, called "24 Hours in Cyberspace."
The professional photographers, editors and programmers who participated in the event aimed to to create a "digital time capsule of online life," explained Rick Smolan, a photographer who headed the event.
Participants photographed, edited and collected images of people whose lives were affected by the use of the Internet over the course of the 24-hour period. Second Lady (at the time) Tipper Gore even contributed several photographs, while her husband, Vice President Al Gore, contributed to the environmental impact areas of the site.
The site was originally hosted at www.cyber24.com, but has since been moved to a mirror site hosted by Georgia Tech University.
The website received more than 4 million hits in those 24 hours – an unheard-of tally at the time.
It’s hard to wait for February 13th when you’re a California resident. There you are, counting down the days until a kid in a yellow, zig-zagged shirt comes down your chimney, pontificates on life and lets out bloodcurdling screams of "Aaaaarrrrghh!" while trying in vain to kick your football.
Sadly, you have another six days to wait until Charles M. Schulz Day. Yes, on today’s date in 2000, the California Legislature declared February 13th the official day to honor the creator of Charlie Brown, who died just a day earlier on Feb. 12. They liked him so much, in fact, that they also named an airport after him.
Just think, comic hopefuls, someday something as simple as a few scribbles of a beagle with World War I-related delusions could earn you a day of recognition and your name on a major traffic hub.
Yeah, so we’ve all been completely inundated with political coverage on this Super Tuesday week. But if we’re gonna do this right, it should be noted that today in 1933, the 20th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution went into effect.
The Amendment reduced the time between Presidential and Congressional elections and the beginning of the elected officials’ terms. Originally, there were four months between the final election tally and the beginning of a newly elected official’s term, due to the time required to get your business in order and travel to Washington, D.C.
On a related note, this is also the week after James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes, the original Captain America’s sidekick, grabbed a gun and a new costume and became the new Captain America! How does that relate to the 20th Amendment, you ask? Well, the connection should be clear – and if it isn’t, the terrorists have already won.
Today in 1988, The United Kingdom celebrated its very first "Red Nose Day," a sort of semi-holiday in which everyone dons a red nose during the all-day charity telethon run by Comic Relief.
The event was so effective on its first go-round that Comic Relief was able to raise about £15 million (back then, that looked a lot bigger when it was turned into $), all going to charity. The event continues to be held every year, and even those in military and school uniforms are allowed to break their dress codes with the clown apparatus.
Oh, how very cheeky!
Today in 1999, Gary Coleman ("Diff’rent Strokes") was fined $400 and sentenced to 90 days in jail (suspended). But the real cherry on top, however, were the mandated anger management classes.
Where did all this aggression stem from, you may ask? Coleman previously attacked an autograph seeker who was no doubt pressing the short celebrity to utter his exhausted catch phrase, "Whatchu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?"
Behold the terrible woes of the Napoleon Complex!
Groundhog Day? Puh-lease. That’s what you’d expect, though, right?
But did you know that today in 1912 the very first stuntman did his very first stunt?
On Feb. 2, 1912, Frederick Rodman Law jumped off the Statue of Liberty with a parachute, earning himself a $1,500 paycheck from a movie company, Pathe, that shot the stunt for a film. In doing so, he became the first “Hollywood” stuntman. He went on to jump into the Hudson River from an exploding balloon and jump off the Brooklyn Bridge later that year.
That’s right, this guy was probably the first thrill-seeking yokel to turn his hobby into a paid job.
It happened four years ago today, but football fans still feel the pain.
Who are we trying to kid? It might have been Superbowl’s greatest moment – heck, maybe even cable television’s greatest moment, when Janet Jackson’s breast accidentally popped out during a Halftime Show performance with Justin Timberlake.
It went into the record books as a "wardrobe malfunction," but commentators still talk about it on sports shows like it was the greatest tragedy in sports history.
The best part? Check out Timberlake’s expression. Kinda priceless.
When’s the last time you got into a fight?
The last time you took it outside, socked the sonofabitch, readjusted your tie and went about your business – where was it? In a bar? How about in a ballroom?
Today in 1931, two film big-shots exchanged blows at the Hollywood Biltmore, in the middle of a dance. The fight was between prolific writer Herman J. Mankiewicz, famous for writing the screenplay for Citizen Kane and rewriting The Wizard of Oz, and executive David O. Selznick, later producer of Gone with the Wind.
What spawned it? Who knows… Maybe Selznick insulted the cowardly lion.
In today’s heated, war-fueled political climate, it’s sometimes nice to look back on a time when our biggest problem was a married man’s bodily fluids on a blue dress.
Today in 1999, Monica Lewinsky was subpeonaed for private videotapes to be used in President Clinton’s impeachment trials.
sigh
What a time, eh? It was the dawn of celebrity obsession (remember Gwyneth Palthrow?) and a time before the axis of evil, the destruction of the World Trade Center, the invasion of Iraq and all of the controversy surrounding Hurricane Katrina relief efforts.
With that in mind, it seems wise to hope our future problems can be as simple as some Arkansauce on a blue dress.
Columns / Glenn Hauman / News
Stephen Colbert, we have your writer for “The Chronicles of Amber”!
January 20, 2023
The Law Is A Ass #460: Those “For Life” Sentences Are Nonsense
February 24, 2022
