“Hi there. Fenton Crackshell here. Don’t let these feathers fool you. While it looks like I’m nothing but your average lightning fast bean-counter, I assure you, I am so much more. Thanks to my friend Prof. Gyro Gearloose, I’m the most well equipped Duck around!”

“Folks familiar with my work might think I only work for the private sector, but I happen to have plenty of experience working with heroic vigilantes as well!”

“I look forward to working alongside the Avengers to protect Duckberg from the likes of Flintheart Glomgold, the Beagle Boys, and Ultron.”

“Finally a universe free of homages! Hi guys, Mark Grayson here, and I’m sure glad to accept this invitation to join the Avengers. I just hope you’re not controlled by the government. I’ve had issues with them in the past. I looked through your previous roster, and it seems like you’re pretty alien friendly too. That’s a good feeling.”

“My buddy Robert didn’t want me to come over here. He said things would be “too easy…”. He said I should stick to playing in my own sandbox (whatever that means…). But he says a lot of stuff that I swear I’ve heard before.”

“Meh. Never mind all that. Show me where I should start punching!”

“You know what? I’m sick of the DCU. Since being told I was “the Last Green Lantern”… I’ve had my first girlfriend chopped up and left in my fridge. I absorbed a gigantic amount of energy and toyed with godhood. I re-lit the central power battery and brought back the Guardians. I became the “Torch Bearer” after my second girlfriend exploded in space. I even let the cry baby Hal-fans take Earth back as his home sector; Now, I play second fiddle as an ‘Honor Guard Green Lantern’ with Guy. Guy friggen’ Gardner people.”

“I’m going back to New York, and joining a team and universe where I might stand a chance of being noticed. Soon, I’ll join the ranks of such memorable team members like Black Knight, Two-Gun Kid, Darkhawk and Slapstick!”

“I fight for truth, justice, and the American way. But I only fight for the Democratic Party. The Republicans? Well, there’s Superman Red for that!”

“No, no worries. I’m perfect for the team! Powers? Take your pick! I mean, it’s been a few years since I’ve been useful relevant popular a good decision around, but hey! I’m still ‘the Big Blue Boy Scout’! I can’t wait to zzzap us a few meta-human baddies!”

“Who the hell is Kang?”

“So there I was, about to embark on an amazing journey through time, when my bat-phone rang.”

“Bruce? It’s Steve. Rogers. Captain America? Oh come on! Kurt and George made us fight a ton back in JLA/Avengers! Say, listen… I heard you got your Bucky to fill in for a while? Good. Let me tell you about this opportunity we have over here at the House of Ideas…”

“Long story short? Sorry Grant… I don’t want to see how many creepy perverts you’ve got stored throughout time. I got a posh gig at a new mansion in New York. Bats-out!”

From Nikki Finke (of course): The auction for the Terminator movie rights just ended after a marathon bidding session today. Halcyon Holding Corp accepted the $29.5 million bid from, of all parties, the debtholder which pushed it into bankruptcy, Santa Barbara-based hedge fund Pacificor. Halcyon will receive $5 million for every Terminator movie made from now on, as well as keeps the revenue streams from the movies Terminator 3 and 4. An arrangement also was made that the sale now wipes out the debt Halcyon owed Pacificor. The deal is subject to approval by the bankruptcy court.

It was not made clear how this affects the comic rights.