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The Worst TV Show Ever – Part 1, by Michael Davis

  • News
  • January 24, 2008
 
kim-kardashian-sex-tape-2-8-07-3109261There’s a show on The E Network called Keeping Up With The Kardashians. After watching that show once I am now convinced we are living in the last days of The Apocalypse. 
 
I won’t even get into why the show makes me want to shoot puppies and beat old  – it just does. Let’s just say The Kardashian family is full of a bunch of elitist assholes and it is my hope that their limo breaks down in the hood and they have to ask some poor people for help. 
 
No, that’s not right. Forgive me for being so mean. Truth is, I hope their limo breaks down in the middle of a gang shootout and they are each shot in their plastic asses. 
 
Oh, by the way, the Kardashian women have HUGE asses so a bullet won’t hurt. 
 
I have sold four TV shows in my career. “Sold” meaning I had meetings at a network and they made a commitment to “develop” the show. 
 
‘Selling” does not mean the show will ever see air. Trust me, being in “Development Hell” is no fun at all. It occurs to me while watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians that I have been barking up the wrong tree. I have tried selling shows that have some kind of redeeming message and it seems what some in America really want is the stupidest crap you can think off. 
 
So I’m officially jumping on that bandwagon!
 
I have come up with the worst possible TV pitch in history…except for MTV’s Sweet 16 or The Janice Dickerson Modeling Agency. Even I can’t come up with shows worst than those.
 
Here’s my pitch Mr. Network Executive:
 

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Cloverfield Easter Eggs?

  • News
  • January 24, 2008

cloverfield_poster-3235109Okay, so I’m the last person in the world who hasn’t seen Cloverfield. I can deal with that, because I’m a professional – that’s what we do. But for everyone who has seen the film, SciFi Wire has this great little piece about some of the Easter Eggs hidden throughout the film.

Sure, there are definite spoilers in this one, but since I’m the only person in the world who has to worry about them, you can knock yourselves out, folks.

Take for instance, this comment from director Matt Reeves about a certain shot described earlier in the article:

"The thing about that shot is that almost nobody sees the shot, but once you see the shot and the thing in it, you’ll never stop seeing it."

*Sigh*

X-Men, X-Force, Messiah CompleX: What’s Next?

  • News
  • January 23, 2008

From X-Factor to X-Men, "Messiah CompleX" to the return of X-Force, Marvel certainly isn’t making it easy for fans of their much-loved mutants to stay current with team rosters, allegiances and the number of mutants bopping around these days.

That’s why this interview with new X-Force series editor John Barber gets a nod for helping to sort out the mess of mutant storylines and provide some perspective on the new title’s place in the greater Marvel Universe. (And it gets extra points for showing off some great interior art!)

Cyclops knows what he’s asking them to do.  But are they heroes?  I don’t know.  It’s like Wolverine tells them in the first issue, once they cross the line they’re crossing, they can’t go back.  They’re not X-Men anymore.  They might act like it sometimes, they might stand next to the X-Men, they might be friends with the X-Men, but deep down, Warpath, X-23 and Wolfsbane will be different.

The new X-Force ongoing series teams New X-Men scribes Craig Kyle and Christopher Yost with artist Clayton Crain, whose work on Ghost Rider: Trail of Tears still gives us the heebie-jeebies. X-Force #1 hits shelves Feb. 6.

 

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Free Jumper Comic Preview

jumper-3944718Oni Press is offering a free 23-page preview of the comic tie-in to Jumper, the upcoming big-screen adaptation of the Steven Gould novel. The film stars Hayden Christiansen and Samuel L. Jackson.

From the description of Jumper: Jumpscars:

For centuries Jumpers have lived among us — special individuals with the ability to teleport or "jump" nearly anywhere in the world. For almost as long, the Paladins, a secret and powerful order, have protected us from these dangerous and unpredictable individuals, sacrificing everything to keep humanity safe!

The comic tie-in will be available February 13, while the film opens the following day.

 

Happy Birthday, David Firth

Happy 25th, David Firth!

The creator of a few strange but entertaining flash animations such as Salad Fingers, Burnt Face Man and Devvo is celebrating his quarter-century one today. Firth’s characters depict what must go on in his head: they are strange, stick-figured  humanoid creatures dealing with the abtract, the surreal and often mentally ill. Although it’s fun to venture into someone else’s subconscious imagination, we must remember it’s mere vacationing, lest it remind us too much of our own deeper selves. That’s not blood, it’s red water. Creepy.

Q&A: The Web Cartoonists’ Choice Awards

  • News
  • January 23, 2008

With the Web Cartoonists’ Choice Awards on the horizon, ComixTalk has a nice Q&A with WCCA Chairman Frank "Damonk" Cormier on the state of the show and what changes to expect this year.

This is the Eighth Annual WCCAs. Looking back at the beginnings what are the big changes if any from the start of this award.

It depends on perspective, really. From the eyes of those who’ve been involved in webcomics since 2000, it’s gained some momentum and respect – from being misperceived as a self-interested “backpatting” exercise run by a bunch of “Keenspace smallfry”, to being accepted as an earnest event that reaches the ever-growing corners of webcomicdom, both big and small.

From the eyes of a newer webtoonist, the biggest change is more logistical: we’ve attempted various voting/balloting systems (some more successful than others), have gone through a fair bit of turnover in terms of committee members, and have now starting holding a live presentation in Orlando.

WCCA voters must register before Jan. 23, 2008. Winners will be announced at MegaCon on March 8, 2008. For rules regarding eligibility, timelines and a list of ways you can promote the WCCA on your own site, visit the WCCA homepage at www.ccawards.com/.

Star Trek Teaser Hits the ‘Net

  • News
  • January 23, 2008

Paramount has posted a new teaser trailer for the upcoming J.J. Abrams-helmed Star Trek film over at the film’s official website.

The film is scheduled for a Dec. 25, 2008, release and stars Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Eric Bana, Winona Ryder, Zoe Saldana, Karl Urban, Bruce Greenwood, John Cho, Simon Pegg and Anton Yelchin.

Networks Tighten Belts, Cut Pilots

  • News
  • January 23, 2008

Television networks are drastically reducing the number of pilots scheduled for production this year, according to statements issued in the last few days by many of the major networks. An elimination of pilots and reduction in the number of new script orders was announced by several networks recently, with each of the statements citing a need to cut costs due to the writers’ strike.

According to Variety, CBS announced that it had dropped several scripts due to the work stoppage late last week, while 20th Century Fox and CW announced this week that they were each dropping 8-12 pilots from their upcoming production schedules.

"Due to the ongoing work stoppage, the CW will be taking a more targeted approach to what is certain to be a truncated pilot season," the [network] said in a statement released Tuesday. "As a result, we are releasing some scripts that had been in development in order to dedicate our creative energy and resources to those projects we choose to pursue."

 

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Creating the Annihilation: Conquest Covers

  • News
  • January 23, 2008

Sure, we heard about this whole Civil War thing that was going on in the Marvel Universe a while back, but as far as we’re concerned, that was small potatoes compared with the epic, universe-spanning shenanigans occurring throughout the Annihilation saga.

Okay, so Civil War left Captain America on a slab and Spider-Man unmasked. We’ll give you that, because they were all big deals at the time, but we challenge you to come up with a bigger event than the Annihilation Wave strapping Galactus to a freakin’ spaceship and using him as a gun, people! Seriously!

… But we digress.

Where were we again? Ah, yes, we were about to direct your attention to this great behind-the-scenes peek at the creation of the Annihilation: Conquest covers. The feature includes plenty of art from both cover artist Aleksi Briclot and Conquest editor Bill Rosemann, the mastermind behind the whole Annihilation event, and it serves as a great "director’s commentary" of sorts for both the storyline and the creative process.

"For the first cover, which I created for the Conquest Prologue, Bill gave me a lot of art suggestions (Joan d’Arc in space, a cinematographic and epic feeling, movies references…)," Briclot recalled. "Over time he also sent me new character concept art (all designed by Marko Djurdjevic), work in progress pages and lots of ideas. Then it was the usual process for each of those covers: sharing ideas and notes via e-mail, making some early quick sketches, a new discussion step, choosing the final content of each covers… Then it was up to me, polishing each picture and trying to produce the most impressive and attractive cover illustrations."

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