The Mix : What are people talking about today?

Molly Jackson: Many Faces of Fandoms

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Fandoms can be a wonderful thing. People who are drawn together by love of a particular series, be it written/filmed/drawn/created in any way, can and have banded together to do some amazing things. I’ve written about how my fellow Browncoats (a.k.a. Firefly fans) and I have raised money for Equality Now. Supernatural fans have come together along with show star Jared Padalecki to raise money for nonprofit organization To Write Love on Her Arms. Gamers have gaming marathons for various charities throughout the world.

Most recently, Star Wars fans took to Twitter to help a dying fan see Episode 7. Sadly, Daniel passed away a few days after his screening. It may be right out of a movie script (ala Fanboys) but it was a touching gesture by fans, cast, crew, and SW franchise to make sure it happened.

With all this in mind, why am I telling you how awesome fans are? Because sadly, sometimes they aren’t awesome. Sometimes people ruin the friendship that grows out of fandom love. That has happened from the Steven Universe fans. A small group of SU fans appears to be growing increasingly mean to the point of brutal. Another fan documented the escalating issues, which have gotten out of control. Fans have been so vicious to other about opinions on the show, they are using rape and death threats. At this point, the ongoing abuses have caused someone to attempt to take their own life.

No fandom is worth any life. I can’t say that loud enough. I love being in fandom groups but I would give them all up in a heartbeat if it meant saving a life. My personal entertainment does not come at the expense of someone’s emotional wellbeing. If yours does, you need to reevaluate.

Steven Universe is a show a lot of friends have told me to watch. After this, I don’t think I can. Yes, I know I can watch a show without being involved with the fandom. But if I like it, I know I’ll want to see what’s out there. It might be unfair to judge a show by the actions of its active fan base. If this is the negativity surrounding a show that is described as all about love, understanding, and equality, then I need to stop before I start.

The real fear is that this can happen to any fan group because the internet is filled with people who think anonymity means no consequences. That since you don’t know the person on the other end in real life, they don’t really matter. Good rule of thumb to use: If you won’t say it to someone’s face, don’t say it on the internet. Be respectful to each other. That means you can still argue facts or provide criticism, but you don’t threaten someone bodily harm because they have a different opinion.

Imagine a world where every conversation on the internet is an engaging one for the right reasons. Imagine reading the comments only makes you cringe from bad grammar, not crude language. Don’t sit there and think it isn’t possible. Go make it possible by showing the world there are still decent human beings on the internet.

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or actions, please seek help and assistance.

Mike Gold, Disturbed

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The most disturbing thing that happened to me in comics – non-violent, that is – occurred more than 30 years ago during the early days of the real First Comics. In fact, it didn’t even happen to me directly. It happened to then-associate editor Rick Oliver. That’s how disturbing it was to me.

We had published a story, damned if I remember what it was, about evil robots doing what evil robots do – murdering humans and generally raising a ruckus. That’s been a popular theme over the years, and if you think about it that’s just what Stephen Hawking, Elon Musk and Bill Gates were talking about last August when they were talking about the dangers of artificial intelligence. As an aside, any time that kind of brain trust agrees on anything, I pay attention. But I digress.

A gentleman called us quite perturbed that we published such a story. Actually, perturbed isn’t quite the right phrase. Hysterical would be more accurate. He went apeshit because we did a story that violated (actually, ignored) Isaac Asimov’s Three Laws of Robotics. In case you’re not up on such things, those laws go exactly like this:

A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

An admirable plot device, and Dr. Asimov held to it consistently for decades… in his fiction. Fiction. He never said it was science fact. Actually, he did say he wasn’t the guy who came up with it, that it was something writer/editor John C. Campbell said to him in December of 1940. On the other hand, Editor Campbell claimed that Author Asimov already had the Three Laws in his mind. But I digress. Again.

If this were an in-person conversation at a comic book or a science fiction convention, the caller would have been arrested and taken to a mental ward for observation. Seriously; he was that upset. When Rick told me about the call, I had newfound gratitude for Alexander Graham Bell.

Most of us understand that there are whack jobs out there (I’m sorry I don’t recall the politically correct phrase for “whack jobs”), and we’ve all seen more than a few hanging out around our Great Comic Book Donut Shop. This gentleman didn’t recognize that the Three Laws were merely a good idea and a great fictional plot device. Hell, he didn’t even recognize we had yet to create robots that are useful enough to need the Three Laws. Today, even drones have human controllers.

He desperately needed to get a life… and probably some lithium. But he represents a danger that we see in all of us who are passionate about our hobbies. You see this sort of thing at media conventions all the time – fans who are disappointed that actors aren’t as familiar with their work as they are. Plenty of times I’ve heard fans say that one actor or another was stupid (or worse) because he/she/it didn’t remember some minutia from a teevee series from many years past.

So. Why am I reminded about this now?

Simple. The fourth Republican debate was on teevee last night.

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Box Office Democracy: Spectre

In Casino Royale, a bartender asks James Bond if he wants his martini shaken or stirred and Bond looks back at the man and responds, “Do I look like I give a damn?” and if your theater was anything like mine the crowd went nuts. It was a clear signal that we were discarding some of the older more tired aspects of the Bond franchise.

In Spectre, Bond orders a martini, adds that he would like it “shaken not stirred” and it was a deflating moment. It was a sign that for whatever reason the people responsible for making Bond movies are no longer interested in making something exciting or fresh (or even a transparent attempt at grabbing for Bourne fans) but to make the thing they’ve made so many times before. While Casino Royale felt like a look ahead in to the 21st century of action movies Spectre is a wistful glance back at the 1970s, and that’s not what I want out of a movie anymore. Spoilers ahead.

The thing that separates Spectre from the Bond movies at all is that the plot continues its trajectory away from sweeping supervillainy and more towards personal conflict. While the eponymous organization is surely evil as their board meeting of crime activity suggests the plan they hope to execute in this film is honestly rather mundane. Spectre wants to be the technical backbone for a multinational security surveillance treaty, essentially a slightly more evil version of the Trans Pacific Partnership, a bad thing certainly but it pales in comparison to irradiating all the gold in Fort Knox or holding the world hostage with stolen atomic bombs. Perhaps this is supposed to reflect the changing face of global fear in the modern world but once I’ve accepted all these other things it just feels like lower stakes.

Where the stakes are much higher are with Bond himself. This movie goes to incredible lengths to show that all of the personal problems, depicted on-screen or otherwise, that Bond has experienced have been the direct result of the machinations of Ernst Stavro Blofield, the man in charge of this massive criminal organization. The events of the previous three films were all leading to this and it’s probably best you don’t pick at that too much because it doesn’t make much sense at all. I see what they’re going for, that it would be nice for these movies to feel a bit more personal, but I’m quite sick of hearing about Vesper at this point and it makes the film feel more generic because every action film is going for this kind of thing, the climax of this film could easily have been a Lethal Weapon finale, it doesn’t feel particularly unique.

I might be asking too much from a Bond movie. Spectre provides so many of the things we expect from these movies. There are stunning locations, beautiful cars, exquisite tight-fitting clothing for both men and women, and a healthy dose of quips in dry British accents. That’s the franchise right there, that’s enough for the vast majority of the audience and if we accept that those are the bullet points Bond movies are supposed to hit this one does a great job: I would very much like to visit Morocco, drive a DB10, look as good as Daniel Craig and be as cool as a British secret agent. This is top-notch escapist power fantasy.

I don’t understand all of the casting choices in Spectre. Dave Bautista is asked to show none of the charm he displayed in Guardians of the Galaxy as he basically plays a brick wall for Bond to bounce off of in this film. I’m not even sure he has three lines if we’re not counting screams and grunts. Christoph Waltz is a brilliant performer as ever but he gets only the bare minimum of screen time for a Bond villain. He gets to reveal his evil plan, he gets to arrange an elaborate death trap, and he gets to participate in a chase. Waltz is in one scene in the first half of the movie and that creates anticipation but also makes the rest of the events feel less important. The worst casting was Andrew Scott as the head of British intelligence. You can’t cast someone most famous for playing a scheming villain, cast him as the smarmy new authority figure and then expect to get a meaningful third act beat out of his inevitable betrayal.

Perhaps I was just wrong about what this run of Bond movies was supposed to do. It seems that they don’t want to move in a new direction for the franchise, instead it looks like they wanted to create the illusion of a brave new direction while they went and rebooted everything even further back. We have a stuffy older man as M again (sorry Ralph Fiennes), we have Moneypenny back again, we have Q delivering tricked out Aston Martins, and we have villains in elaborate remote bases with their fluffy cats and their slow avoidable death traps. Pierce Brosnan could have been in this movie; hell, with a filter or two this could have been Timothy Dalton, and that’s disappointing. This could be a modern action franchise but instead it seems willing to go back to trading in nostalgia and clichés.

Joe Corallo: Breaking the Iceman

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I’ve only been writing this column for a month now, and if you’ve been reading you might have guessed that the next opportunity I’d have I’d write about Iceman coming out in Uncanny X-Men #600. Well, congratulations! You were right. I’ll try to be less predictable in the future, but I make no promises.

As you may have heard, last week the present day Iceman came out to his past self, thus confirming that Iceman is gay in both past and present. This move has gotten a great deal of praise, with many highlighting that this now makes him the highest profile gay superhero in comics. Though I’m a big fan of the X-Men in addition to being gay, I honestly did not care much for how Iceman coming out was handled.

Now, before anyone reading this starts either rolling their eyes thinking I’m gearing up for a rant on how Brian Bendis and Axel Alonso must be homophobes or don’t understand diversity for not handling this how I would have liked, or are gearing up to rally with me on that point, I’m going to stop you there. Bendis himself is Jewish, and two of his three daughters are adopted, one African-American and the other Ethiopian. He co-created Miles Morales, the half African-American, half Hispanic Spider-Man that has since become a major hit at Marvel. Axel Alonso himself was editor on Peter Milligan and Mike Allred’s X-Force/X-Statix run that introduced three queer X characters. The issue I have here is not personal and I acknowledge that they have made great decisions regarding diversity in the past. It’s about the handling of Iceman’s coming out and how that affects LGBTQ representation at Marvel. Now let’s get into it.

First off, Jean Grey is here for seemingly little reason as past Iceman has his talk with present Iceman. She was my and many other people’s point of contention when this was first brought up in All New X-Men #40, when she outed him. Some people don’t feel that she outed him, but having read it, that’s the conclusion I came to myself. Telling someone what their sexuality is when they’re questioning it can be damaging. I know when I was a teenager and had people in my life telling me I wasn’t gay, that it did hurt me and took time to get over. When Jean did this, it took away from Iceman’s agency. Rather than a coming out story, we got a “Jean told us we’re gay, so we are now,” story, and that’s significantly less compelling. I wish I had the time to go into how troubling the bi-erasure was in this story as well, but I’ll talk about bi-erasure in mainstream comics next week.

Second, starting with the “You’re going to be a mutant and gay. Wow,” line that present Iceman says to past Iceman, and going into how he put all of his effort into the X-Men over his own happiness, I was just completely taken aback. This made no sense at all.

How can present Iceman talk about putting all his effort into the team when he has never led the X-Men, and he left the team to go to college for a bit, and he had a fairly long relationship with Opal Tanaka that he put his all into, going as far as heading to Japan with Jean Grey (funny, right?) to save her from Cyber Samurai, and he tried to ruin Polaris’ wedding to Havok because he was still into her, and has seen several other X-Men over the years come out around him even as mutant numbers dwindled… and that’s just to name a few things. Not to mention how Cyclops, Storm, Professor X, even Magneto all made time for their own happiness and had a much more important role in the world than Iceman ever did. It would be one thing if this was because present Iceman was being selfish, but he’s making it out like he stayed in the closet because he’s selfless, and that doesn’t quite hold up here.

Building on that point, Iceman being a blonde hair, blue eyed, young, white, attractive, able-bodied, cisgender man with a six-pack complaining about how hard it is to come out was disappointing. Look, everyone has problems and hardships, even young attractive white guys, and I understand and acknowledge that. However, this is a fictional world where Iceman has been on life and death missions, gone through space, time, fought aliens, vampires, deities… and coming out was harder than all of that?

If this was the 80s, I’d totally get that. Even the 90s. It’s 2015, and that coupled with living in such a fantastical world makes this too hard for me to swallow. Not to mention how many of his teammates and fellow mutants are not nearly as privileged as he is. I’d dare even say that Nightcrawler and Beast might have a harder time being straight than Iceman would have being gay.

Finally, on the last page of this scene young Iceman asks present Iceman if he thinks Angel is hot and they agree and have a good time about it. If you’re going to make the next LGBTQ X-Men character a young, attractive, blonde hair, blue eyed, able-bodied, cisgender white man with a six pack, can we at very least have him talk about being attracted to someone who isn’t also all of those things? It just feeds into so many of the negatives in the LGBTQ community that are trying to be addressed. It was a way to wrap up the scene that was clearly intended to be sweet that left me feeling sour.

I’m not trying to be ungrateful about having more representation in mainstream comics. However, we should be holding ourselves to a higher standard and demand more, better, and thoroughly thought out LGBTQ representation.

I do want to end on a positive note. Bendis has updated Iceman in a way that will give future writers something new to explore with the character and I’m thankful to him for that, and despite how I may have come across, I am eager to see what other writers will do with him. Hopefully an LGBTQ creator or an ally like Peter David or Kieron Gillen who handle queer characters respectfully will get to tackle him, and maybe I’ll soon be reading the greatest Iceman story ever told.

REVIEW: Trainwreck

trainwreck-blu-ray-e1446935384207-5309971Amy Schumer has become quite the comedienne, taking the stage, television, and now film by storm. Trainwreck, her starring vehicle for director Judd Apatow, was my first sustained exposure to her and thought the fresh eyes could glean what the fuss is all about. Still trying to figure it out.

The story is about a woman who is professional star and a personal wreck who meets and falls for a guy, only to screw it up at much the same time she screws up her relationship with her sister, and loses her job. That it is about a woman and not a man has garnered a lot of buzz but the overall story is tired and predictable.

Apatow’s previous films have offered up fresh takes on old themes along with sharply delineated characters that avoid the clichés and bring with them a tremendous amount of heart. In The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Knocked Up, and This Is 40 were all written by him and perhaps he should have been allowed to give Schumer’s script a pass.

We’re told that Amy Townsend is the star writer for S’nuff, a magazine that makes Maxim and FHM seem tame. She is assigned to interview a sports doctor despite disliking athletics of all kinds. Her boss, Dianna (Tilda Swinton) holds out the Executive editor’s post as a carrot for taking on the work. Meantime, she is avoiding emotional entanglements, drinking, dancing, and having a series of one-night stands which seems to stem from words of advice given to her and her sister Kim (Brie Larson), by their crude father Gordon (Colin Quinn). On the other hand, she has a warm spot for dear old dad, now confined to a nursing home given his multiple sclerosis.

She finally seems to settling into a relationship with the musclebound and possibly closeted Steven (John Cena). Despite being rude and crude, he gets his heart broken when Steven discovers Amy has been sleeping around and tells her she’s not a nice person and honestly, she isn’t.

That starts to change when she beings to interview the near-perfect Aaron Conners (Bill Hader) and a softer side seems to emerge. Over a period of time, she falls for the doctor and they begin to date and she’s having her first genuine adult relationship. She doesn’t want to screw it up but of course does, triggered in part by her father’s sudden death. She spirals downward just as one would expect towards the end of Act Two.

Everything comes crashing down around her until she finally hits bottom and rebounds making amends first with Kim then with Aaron. Her final over-the-top act comes out of the blue and is intended to be a showstopper when it just stops. They still kiss and all will be well. Awww.

Amy and Aaron, though, are deeply under-developed characters and you are not emotionally invested in either nor is there real warmth and chemistry between the performers. In fact, Aaron seems more himself with his patients including LeBron James, who provides as adept with comedy as he is with a basketball, stealing every scene he’s in.

Schumer may be a gifted talent but it’s not on display her since Amy is unlikable, the humor is tame, and nothing feels new and different, just tired and by the numbers. None of the supporting characters feel fleshed out, spoiling a rich ensemble.

Universal Home Entertainment has released the film in a combo pack that includes Blu-ray, DVD, and Digital HD. Additionally, both discs come with the theatrical version and a four-minute longer unrated version. From what I can tell, there’s just more, nothing earth-shattering and special.

The film comes with a nice assortment of Special Features including additional Deleted and Extended Scenes; a two-part Gag Reel; Lin-o-Rama, where several actors are shown ad libbing for scenes; a traditional Behind-The-Scenes featurette; Directing Athletes: A Blood Sport , a more scripted than not look at working with James, Tony Romo, and Amar’e Stoudemire; The Dogwalker, the complete film-within-a-film starring Daniel Radcliffe and Marisa Tomei; and finally, from Comedy Central, the Trainwreck Comedy Tour Featurette.

Mindy Newell: Peace Killing

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The Doctor: “How are you going to protect your glorious revolution from the next one?” • The Zygon Inversion • Doctor Who, Season 9, Episode 8 • Written by Peter Harkness and Steven Moffat

What the fuck is with all these fucking commercials!

I mean, seriously, I get that BBCAmerica wants its money’s worth out of Doctor Who, but c’mon, are you fucking kidding me? Ever since the passing of the TARDIS to Peter Capaldi, the commercial breaks have gotten absolutely fucking ridiculous – what is it down to now, every five minutes? And the breaks seem to be longer than the actual story in between the damn commercials!!!! How the hell can anyone actually enjoy the show?

Because of the stupid commercials, I missed so much of the nuances of both The Zygon Invasion (which first aired last week on October 31) and Saturday’s The Zygon Inversion that I watched them at one sitting today, Sunday, November 8, on Amazon Prime. Yeah, I paid $2.99 for each, because Season 9 is (not yet) part of my Amazon Prime membership, but it was worth every penny.

I loved it.

No, more than that…

I adored it.

In fact, im-absolu-fuckin-lutely-not-so-ho, this two-hour story will be the one that definitely defines Peter Capaldi’s ownership of the Doctor. His delivery on the futility of war was brilliant, combining pathos, hope, desperation, and even bits of humor. I was riveted, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him – and, in fact, I “rewound” those ten climatic minutes three times just so I could watch and listen to him again. Now, I do have to say that I was a bit “quibbled” last week when the show hit us all on the head with a very, very heavy hammer:

The Doctor: “This is a splinter group. The rest of the Zygons  –  the vast majority  –  they want to live in peace. You start bombing them, you’ll radicalize the lot. That’s exactly what the splinter group wants.”

Yes, yes, Steven Moffat and Peter Harness, we got the analogy – and if you didn’t get the analogy then I’m not talking to you – and perhaps you didn’t have to swing Mjolnir again when the “normalized” Zygon pleaded that he just wanted to live in peace before he killed himself. The best part of any science fiction, whether it be in book or television or movie form, imho, is when it addresses and/or attacks our real concerns, assumptions, and prejudices and, hopefully, makes us actually think about them.

The Doctor: “Listen, I just want you to think. Do you know what thinking is? It’s just a fancy word for changing your mind.”

But this is the real world, and it will take more than Peter Capaldi’s breathtaking performance and a great, great episode of Doctor Who to change the minds of radical “splinter groups” bent on war to realize that the box – both of them – is empty.

Even the Doctor has been through this 14 times before.

Ed Catto: StreamCon & The More Things Change

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The more things change… the more they change. The very first StreamCon, a convention that’s all about online influencers and digital content, was just held in New York City. It’s a show that’s blended for both industry professional and fans, just like the bigger comic cons. And it was held in the Javits Center, just like New York Comic Con, so it brought back a lot of memories of the “early days” of what has become one of biggest comic-cons in the world.

StreamCon 1There’s been a lot written about New York Comic Con and the continuing growth of Geek Culture. It’s hard to believe it’s been 10 years since the first NYCC. No one knew quite what to expect. It was held in just one section of the Javits Center, in stark contrast to the sprawl of recent years. And that first year, when the crowds got too big, the Fire Marshalls put a halt to anyone entering, or reentering the convention floor. (You can imagine how well that went over.) How could they not have known that it would soon become the biggest show in the convention hall?

On the first day of StreamCon the crowd wasn’t overbearing. It was so easy to get from point A to point B. There was a casual and relaxed atmosphere. And there were only handful of cosplayers. To be fair, Day #1 was meant to be the Industry Summit day, so that was all by design.

But the fascinating part, during this designated professional day, it was all the stress and strains of the marketing community in flux. Sure, there were “industry experts” present but there were also a lot of professionals there to learn about who the YouTube/Vine/Twitter media stars are and just why fans love them so. These folks may have been a little overwhelmed, but the NYC marketing community is nothing if not tough, and you didn’t see anyone sweating.

StreamCon 3But It was soon clear that the days of advertising agencies reaching out to the most popular celebrities product spokespeople based on the top network TV shows are long gone. For today’s millennial audiences, the first thing they reach for is their cell phone. And fewer and fewer of them even watch traditional shows – and when they do it’s usually not on their television. It’s one a different screen. TV stars like Tim Allen and Ted Danson are irrelevant to them. Instead they live in a world dominated by online celebrities like PewDiePie, Smosh and Allicatt. In fact, in Variety’s recent ranking, Taylor Swift just barely cracked the top 10.

During the conference, you could see the struggles as many professionals tried to keep up. They worked to make sense of this world of “non-scripted reality fiction”, cord-cutters and the deemphasizing print media. Carrying around a newspaper or telling stories about things like “waiting in line at the bank” were clearly out of place.

One parallel, of course, is how rapidly Geek Culture is also changing. Movies and TV shows serve as not only the gateway for many fans. And these versions are quickly becoming the “alpha continuity” as well. Cosplayers have leapfrogged from being labeled as “nuisances” at comic cons to becoming main attraction. In fact, now there are whole conventions built around cosplayers.  Many women now lead the way in creativity and fandom. And with the recent blockbuster debut of Supergirl on TV, you just know that more female fans are being created every Monday night. (Disclosure: I liked it too!)

Change is good! Change is exciting! Flux is the new norm… or the new black or the new orange or something like that. It’s a fascinating ride to be on, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. How do you feel about it?

John Ostrander and The Humbug Murders

humbug-murders-4366775I’m a big fan of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. I try to read it every Christmas, I watch multiple versions of it during the holiday season (including a half hour animated version starring Mister Magoo), and in my acting days I performed in the annual theater production of it at Chicago’s Goodman Theater. For the record, I played in the all-important parts of Mr. Lean, Fred’s friend number 3, dancing man, and ensemble.

Coming across a mystery called The Humbug Murders – An Ebenezer Scrooge Mystery by L.J. Oliver, I was quickly drawn in. Not without some hesitation; the notion of Dickens’ notorious miser acting as a detective rattled my chains a bit. Still, I decided to give it a chance.

For the most part, it works. L.J. Oliver is a pen name for Scott Ciencin and Elizabeth Wilson, both of whom are experienced authors. Sadly, Ciencin died in 2014. The story takes place in 1833 when Scrooge was still a relatively young man, only a few years removed from his days working for Mister Fezziwig. The story includes quite a number of characters from different Dickens’ novel as well as a young Dickens himself, still a reporter at this point.

I usually have trouble when authors place characters and creators in the same story. For example, I’ve seen Sherlock Holmes stories were Arthur Conan Doyle is also a character and it is said that Doyle is the “literary agent” of Doctor Watson. These arrangements suggest that the author didn’t have the imagination to create his/her own characters and, as an author, I dislike that insinuation.

Also, I had to reconcile the Scrooge in this mystery with the Scrooge I knew from A Christmas Carol. That was a bit difficult. It was hard to imagine the Scrooge that I already knew having had the experiences he had in this story and still becoming the same man. However, I simply decided that this was the Scrooge of an alternate, parallel dimension. Hey, I work in comics; alternate dimensions are an everyday occurrence where I come from.

In The Humbug Murders, Old Fezziwig, Scrooge’s former employer, has been brutally murdered. (The story has a goodly amount of rather graphic violence and touches on some lurid depravity, all of which may bother some folks.) Scrooge is a suspect and finds himself drawn into the mystery. A masked murderer calling himself Humbug is guilty of the crime and Old Fezziwig’s ghost (of course there are ghosts in the story), appearing to Ebenezer, says three more deaths will follow and that Scrooge himself will be the last victim. Unless, of course, the killer can be caught first.

The authors know the era and the locale, especially the less savory neighborhoods in London. They also know their Dickens and sometimes get a little cute in borrowing lines from A Christmas Carol. It sort of shouts “See how clever I am!” It also took me a little out of the story which an author should never do.

The reveal is a little difficult, requiring the killer to monologue in order to bring it all together. Scrooge himself, although a keen observer of humanity, doesn’t really uncover Humbug’s identity. The lead female character also comes across as a bit of a Mary Sue – the somewhat idealized projection of the female author.

Mostly, it’s a good mystery although I did spot the true killer some fifty pages before the reveal. It didn’t take away from my enjoyment of the book, however. The ending promises a possible sequel which I wouldn’t mind reading although, since Mr. Ciencin died, that may be problematic. It was not a waste of my money which, no doubt, Mister Scrooge would consider a high compliment.

3.5 stars out of five.

Box Office Democracy: “Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse”

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In his wildly popular book on screenwriting [[[Save the Cat!]]], Blake Snyder suggests that every movie needs to fulfill the promise of the premise; to give the audience all of the things they expect to see in the movie based on the title and the promotional materials. You can’t make Legally Blonde without having scenes where a ditzy girl applies her skills as a socialite to the buttoned-up world of law school and you can’t make Star Wars without having some interstellar battles. Unfortunately, Scouts Guide to the Apocalypse didn’t take this to heart as it’s a generic teen comedy layered on top of a generic zombie movie with just a sprinkling of the scout gimmick tacked on mainly at the end. It results in a movie that feels tired and unoriginal.

Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse colors inside the lines very closely. It hits all of the teen comedy beats you know and love, including: kids who want to ditch an uncool friend so they can appear more attractive, kids who get invited to a party by people much cooler than them, awkward teen who doesn’t know to deal with a crush, oversexed teen who pursues sexual gratification at inappropriate times. They take these well-worn classics and slap on a quick zombie overlay and call it a day. This is a movie that feels like Superbad meets Dawn of the Dead, but instead of being those movies they’re the off-brand knock-offs you would find in the bargain bin at a Wal-Mart. Even at its highest highs, Scouts Guide doesn’t feel like it touches the splendor of the movies it copies.

That’s not to say that there isn’t good comedy in here, because there is, they just do the damndest job hiding it. There’s a joke in this movie involving grabbing on to a zombie while falling out a window that I laughed harder at than anything I’ve seen in months. That joke comes well past the halfway point and I had pretty much given up on the entire film at that point so to get such a huge, genuine, reaction from me at that point was practically a miracle. Where was anything near this funny the rest of the way through? I saw two groups of people walk out of the theater before this sequence; they needed to do a better job keeping people engaged. The whole first act was plagued by jokes that the movie clearly thought were funny falling flat and later there are plenty of funny ideas that don’t get enough space and simply die on the vine (zombie cats being the most egregious example). A zombie singing a duet of a Britney Spears song with the main character got a whole chorus.

This is the kind of movie where I can’t help but wonder if there was some kind of tragic problem in the production process that led to such an uneven effort. Three people share the screenplay and story credits, an arrangement that might hint at some kind of dispute over a rewrite. It’s also a hard R movie that I can’t understand how it would appeal to anyone over the age of 17, so this might be a token theatrical run hoping it has a long tail as a cult classic movie passed back in forth as a contraband DVD at middle school sleepovers for years to come. I want to believe that some conflict or secret conspiracy is behind this failure because it’s a movie that fails to live up to a halfway clever title, and that’s just a failure so sad it defies belief.

Marc Alan Fishman: “Unshaven Comics: Open For Business”

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I was recently informed that my local comic shop The Zone (of Homewood, IL) was being sold for a very affordable sum. So affordable in fact, it got many a folk a’twitter (no, not that Twitter) over the feasibility of making that leap into small business ownership. And for a hot minute? Unshaven Comics seriously considered it.

I mean, next to making comics, having your own shop is very much the dream for many. Ask Art and Franco (Aw Yeah, Comics!) or Mark Waid (Aw Yeah, Muncie!). The appeal of growing a community around the comic store is more than a passing desire for me. Why? Because it’s how Unshaven Comics happened in the first place. When I met Matt Wright in sixth grade, he cemented our friendship with the gift of a few comic books. Soon thereafter, trips to the local store – then, Fiction House – were typically at least a weekly endeavor. By high school, Fiction House was more than just a retail mecca. It was church. A collection of gamers, and fans of pulp and paper united by the bond of shared love in off-the-beaten-path minutiae. And it was within this community of nerds, geeks, and dweebs, did we all find a large chunk of our self-identity. One day, we would move from fan to creator. If for no other reason, than being able to place our fiction next to Batman and the like, to declare this is how we’d do it better.

As we grew up, the comic shop never lost its luster. In Indianapolis, Comic Carnival became out haunt of choice. While we never found a community over the course of our college years… the weekly tradition of new comic book day was never to be missed. When we made our triumphant return to Chicago, with our beloved Fiction House now a Chinese food emporium, we tripped over Lansing’s Stand Up Comics. Therein, we found a trio of kindred spirits. Twenty-somethings sharing a long-lasting friendship, united in business. New Comic Book Day soon sprouted into extra-curricular affairs – as getting new books was on the beginning of an evening over shared dinners, and boisterous conversations. It was at Stand Up Comics I made my debut, and eventual retirement from stand up comedy. And far more important… it was where Unshaven Comics was blessed to put our first books on the shelf; to declare this is how we do it better.

Hence, it should come with no surprise when the opportunity to recreate a bit of that magic in my hometown, my beard bristled with glee. I mean, the Aw Yeah guys seemingly are doing well for themselves. And how could comics not be a booming business right now? With the Marvel Movieverse into its strong second phase, DC Comics killing it on TV, and Image Comics proving how creator-owned books can school the mainstream in terms of depth and quality on the page… we’re living in a gilded age! So, a brick and mortar store, in the heart of a well-worn middle class town like mine should be a dream waiting to happen.

A few sobering conversations later? The dream dissipated back into the digital ether where it was born.

The biggest concern, of course, is money. Even at the amazing price the owner is seeking for the shop, it’s not like three working dudes barely into their thirties are sitting on mounds of extra cash. It further belabors that point when two of those dudes are expecting daughters in March of the coming year. Or that the third dude is finally getting hitched all legal-like. Taken a step further… being in debt to start your business – even with a solid base of customers currently streaming into the shop – is daunting. Especially because we’re more than clear that only one of us could ever man the counter. Lest we think owning a small comic shop can replace 3 full time salaries. We wouldn’t bet on it. In addition, as with all business owners, the shop is far more than a collection of current and back issues (and associated brik-a-brak). It’s an environment. Meaning an Unshaven Shoppe would need to reflect our personalities. And somehow, that likely costs money too. It all adds up, doesn’t it?

Great comic shops in the suburbs are more than just pulp and paper now. The need for Pokemon leagues, Magic tournaments, and D&D nights are near must-haves. Most comic shops are also aforementioned social hubs. Home to comedy nights, local high school punk rock shows, and impromptu podcasting studios. Owners of these stores need either to hire local talent (see: those kids in the punk band), or give up any chance at normal work hours. Certainly kids aren’t trolling the comic shop until after school. And while any of us Unshaven Lads might enjoy the ability to sleep til noon on a weekday… we don’t want the result of that gift: working late nights to keep the lights on. It’s not an easy life to tend to a shop. And certainly not one that can support three budding families from day one. It doesn’t warm our hearts either to know that our beloved Stand Up Comics ended up folding over a diminishing clientele base – in spite of every attempt to grow it. The sober facts of the glamorous world of comic book retail.

But grey clouds will part! Soon, the Zone will be home to new owners ready to tackle the tasks we admit defeat over. And I’m likely to meet them shortly after the sale is final. Because every shop needs that community, and what better way to engrain a local independent comic publisher with his community, than being the artist(s) in residence at said shop?

I can think of no better dream to be a part of.