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Emily S. Whitten: The Con-Runner’s Guide to the Galaxy

DiscworldSince my column on DashCon was published last week, I’ve been contacted by several people who inquired about how to start or run a fan convention. So I figured it might be a good time to share a portion of the experience and knowledge I have gained about con-running over the years, in the form of this column and an incredibly long document that will clearly illustrate to anyone who hasn’t picked up on it so far that I am super OCD about some things. Which is actually a necessary trait for successfully managing a con, so, you know: there’s that!

Now I don’t mean to say that if you aren’t my brand of OCD you can’t run a con. I’ve worked with con chairs and committee members who do things in ways that are completely opposite to my style, and they make it work very successfully. But they also are supported by at least some committee members who are more detail-oriented. Because really, somebody has to be. In my view, con-running is most successful when those involved possess a blend of an ability to imagine and organize the big-picture plans; practicality and careful attention to the smallest details; a keen social acumen; creativity and creative problem-solving; and a noticeable lack of ego (e.g. putting the success of the con and happiness of attendees and guests before any benefit they might hope to gain from running things). It’s nice when these traits are all present in the same person, but more commonly they are at least found in the combined talents of a successful committee.

To run a con you also need to recognize that doing so is a massive amount of work, and it’s not for everyone. Here’s a quick test to see if you should even consider trying to run a con: after you read this column, read the entirety of the linked document, and then see if you: a) made it to the end of both without losing patience and interest or falling asleep; and b) still feel excited about the idea of starting a con, rather than like you need a nice long lie-down to deal with the immense feeling of being completely overwhelmed. If both of these things are true, you may just be okay!

Before we go any further, some of you might be wondering what experience you need to run a convention, or what experience I have and how that experience was gained. If you can manage it, to gain experience I recommend starting as a volunteer or a part of a larger team managing one area of a current con, and watching how the larger experience is managed while doing your part and working your way to positions of more responsibility over the course of more than one con. I also recommend talking in depth with any of the convention committee (or “concom”) who will take the time to show you the ropes and answer your questions. Tell them your goals for starting a con, and very often, they will be glad to help or point you in the right directions to learn. (You may run into concom who, for reasons I will never understand, jealously guard their “secrets” to successfully managing a con like Smaug guards gold. If you encounter this, just move on and find someone more helpful. Anyone who has more of a confidence in their own abilities than a fear that you are going to take their position or something away from them once you’ve learned how to work on cons will generally be glad to help others who are getting into this area of work or volunteering.)

Sometimes, due to circumstance or enthusiasm for the end goal, you may end up needing to leapfrog through the course recommended above in order to be prepared in time to run your own con. It is possible to learn con planning at an accelerated rate, but it comes with a steep learning curve and a lot of sleepless hours. I know, because that’s how I learned. In brief, I got myself into con-running by inquiring at a book signing if Sir Terry Pratchett, author of the immensely successful (and fantastic) Discworld series of books, would attend a U.S. fan convention if one were put together. When Terry cheerfully said yes (bless his heart), I suddenly found myself being asked by a large percentage of the over 200 people who were at the Pratchett book signing with me whether I was going to begin this endeavor. I, being the total genius that I am (ahahahaha), said, “Sure!” Having, of course, zero idea what I was getting myself into and zero experience even attending fan conventions.

Naturally the next step was that we had a super-successful convention!! Oh wait. I kid, I kid. The next steps were “other people helping me to brainstorm or learn how to run cons,” in conjunction with “finding a team of more experienced people to work on the con with me,” and “attending and observing at a number of cons,” and “tons and tons of work on the new con in several skills areas while figuring out how to do things as I went along, sometimes by pure trial and error.”

I worked daily with other Discworld fans passionate about the idea of creating the con and with an experienced group based in Arizona who regularly ran local cons there. I volunteered at conventions like Capclave  and Balticon. I located concom at conventions I attended (like the UK Discworld cons) and asked them questions about how they ran their areas of the con. As one of the three U.S. Discworld con founders and core committee members, I wore several hats that might usually have been worn by several members of a concom because we didn’t have anyone else to wear them. (And let me note here that I definitely wasn’t the only one who did these things; I am only sharing my experience, but many, many people worked very hard on The North American Discworld Conventions and helped turn them into successful events. It really does take a village.) This whole experience took four years – which, actually, isn’t at all an unreasonable amount of time to allot for founding a con, although with an experienced team at hand, you can probably do it in two. But to have a successful first con, you really need to put in that time, along with an immense amount of your attention and efforts.

So that is how I ended up learning how to run conventions. And it was a wonderful and sometimes nerve-wracking experience, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. However, after the 2009 con, I did choose to step back from the con-running scene (four years is a long time!) and planned to serve only as an advisor to the next NADWCon, slated for 2011. The idea for these cons was that they would move to different areas of the country each time, to make it easier for attendees from all over to get a chance to attend at least once. Local groups would bid for the opportunity to run the convention, and after careful scrutiny the con would be awarded to a group by an advisory committee formed from some of the folks who ran the con in 2009.

That is what happened in 2011 when the con was awarded to a group in Madison, WI, and for a number of months, things seemed to be clicking along. Unfortunately, as the final month before the con arrived, it was relayed to the advisory committee and to me individually that the 2011 concom had run into fairly serious difficulties and the con was at the risk of, as one person put it, “going down in flames.” It was at this point that I ended up stepping in to take over the 2011 NADWCon as Chair, with a super-capable and experienced con-runner from the 2009 con taking over as Vice-Chair. I share this not to bemoan anything that happened, but to illustrate that this is a thing that happens, even to cons that have e.g. had a successful run in the past. Because as I’ve said before, con-running is hard.

I also mention it to explain the origin of the document mentioned above which I am going to share here, entitled, “The State of the Convention Report.” I’ve already outlined some big picture basics – traits I think a successful concom should possess; the necessity for realizing how much dedication and time founding or putting on a con takes; and ways to gain experience prior to taking on your own con. The State of the Convention document is where we stop looking at the forest and start seeing the trees. In other words, it contains the small detail nuts and bolts which, assembled correctly, will create a successful Discworld con. It is a document that every con should have, but that many probably never do, because who has time to sit down and write all of this out when you’re trying to run a con? Well; I did – but only because upon taking over a con one month out, it was necessary for me to assess what state every area of responsibility for the con was in at that time, and to then provide comprehensive information for all of my fellow concom simultaneously regarding where it needed to be by Day 1 of the con. This seemed the best way to do it.

Despite my best efforts, even this document is not one hundred percent complete, being something that was done as quickly as possible during a time of crisis (and before sharing it with you, I have redacted some information for confidentiality or privacy reasons). However, I believe it contains a lot of helpful information and details to think about for an aspiring con-runner. And although this particular document was created for a Discworld con, the basic elements can be easily adapted as a starting-point guide for comic-cons or other fan conventions. And so, without further ado, I present to you (for your downloading pleasure; click on the golden-brown words!)  6_19_2011_NADWCon State of the Con_PUBLIC. And with it, wishes of good luck in your future con-running endeavors.

And until next time, Servo Lectio!

Box Office Democracy: “The Purge: Anarchy”

Last year I reviewed the original Purge movie on my own blog and my chief complaints were that the movie was intellectually lazy for not exploring more of the complexities of the setting and for being so short that there was no time for any kind of real narrative.  The Purge: Anarchy leaves practically no stone unturned in examining what kind of culture would emerge around the idea of annual purges and it clocks in at almost 20 minutes longer with a far more nuanced story to show for it.  I got every thing I said I wanted and I still don’t like this movie.  It’s either a shaking moment for my credibility as a critic as I might have no idea what I want or this franchise is just not going to be no matter what they do.  I hope it’s the latter.

 The Purge: Anarchy dives deeper in to the world by focusing on a more diverse ensemble.  Our cast consists of a poor mother-daughter pair that is dragged out of their homes on purge night as part of some nebulous conspiracy that I won’t spoil mostly because it didn’t make a ton of sense.  They are joined by a couple on the rocks who have their car sabotaged so they can’t escape the purge, that committing crimes before the purge to make purging easier would seem to be against the rules is never brought up.  The last member of the ensemble is a police officer out for revenge who can’t help himself and saves the rest of the four and then takes on the role of their protector and displays some honestly godlike powers along the way.  Maybe it isn’t the annual purges keeping crime down the rest of the year and more that they’ve trained all their officers to be Batman on steroids.

The bigger cast doesn’t really change the original film’s reluctance to have characters change over the course of the film.  The sum total of character growth in this movie is one character decides that murder is always wrong, even in the case of revenge, and another decides killing people for revenge is therapeutic.  I’m not even sure if the film wants us to judge the character who decides that murder is the answer, she’s treated very sympathetically all the way up to that moment and is never seen after that.  “Is murder wrong?” is not a question a movie like this can be ambiguous about, that’s not what telling this story is about.

The first Purge movie had some uncomfortable race moments, a lot of menace seemed to stem solely from the idea that a white family should be afraid of a black man, and the second one tries to bounce back while completely missing the point.  This time around virtually every black character is virtuous but most Hispanic people are terrible.  It seems they got the feedback but missed the point.  This seems to be an unstoppable franchise at this point so we can all hope that by The Purge 5: Constitutional Monarchy they’ve sorted all this out.

The Point Radio: By The Time We Bike To Phoenix

You may never own one or even ride one, but you probably will agree that motorbikes can be cool. We take you right into the heart of they matter as we look at The History Channel series, BIKER BATTLEGROUND PHOENIX. Plus The Avengers get a makeover and ComicCon here we come!

Be sure to see all the Pop Culture we cover direct from San Diego. Just follow us right now on Instagram at The Point Radio.

THE POINT covers it 24/7! Take us ANYWHERE on ANY mobile device (Apple or Android). Just  get the free app, iNet Radio in The  iTunes App store – and it’s FREE!  The Point Radio  – 24 hours a day of pop culture fun. GO HERE and LISTEN FREE  – and follow us on Twitter @ThePointRadio.

What Heidi Said. (Also Batteries, Water, and Granola Bars.) #SDCC

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Do not ever plan to get some last minute task done at this show, like making a slideshow for your panel or finishing your mini-comic!

You just won’t do it! Trust me on this.

So, you have only 48 hours to finish everything.

via SDCC 2014: The One Indispensible Piece of Advice You Must Know To Survive Comic-Con! — The Beat.

Less for me, I fly out tomorrow. I’m doomed.

Mindy Newell: EW Does SDCC

Nick Fury

My geek overdrive continues to overwhelm me. But I’m not the only one.

Less than a week away from this year’s San Diego ComicCon (which opens its doors this Thursday, July 24th, and closes them on Sunday, July 27th) Entertainment Weekly joins the national geek fest that is summertime with a bang-up double-size issue featuring a cover shot of Robert Downey, Jr. as Iron Man and Chris Evans as Captain America with Ultron looming behind them. The issue is a stuffed-to-the-gills San Diego Comic Con preview…

And I read every single page. Including the adverts.

Now I know how those fans at the 1976 SDCC felt when Charles Lippincott (then head of Lucasfilm’s marketing, advertising and publicity department) showed some of the first production slides of Star Wars, and (writer) Roy Thomas and (artist) Howard Chaykin previewed their Marvel Comics adaptation of the film, because the cover story,an “exclusive first look” at Avengers: Age Of Ulton, does an admirable job of leaking just enough info to make me want to go out and see the move right now – only, goddamn!, it’s not due to hit the theatres for a frakking ten months! (May 1, 2015, which makes it nine months and 12 days, to be exact, and if I counted right.)

That’s incredibly unfair, EW!

By the way, that Star Wars teaser was the beginning of SDCC becoming the first exit ramp on the expressway to marketing love and box office bonanzas, for better or for worse. Most comics fans believing it was for worse, as SDCC has increasingly become more and more about film and television and less and less about the four-color world.

Along with articles on upcoming films, small and large (The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies; Air; Mad Max; Fury Road; Horns) and television shows – which Mike Gold did a wonderful job of discussing here. Although you missed Outlander, Mike, an adaptation of Diana Gabaldon’s eight-volume (so far, according to EW) saga which successfully – based on its millions plus fan base and its mega-profitability for the author and her publisher – blends the genres of romance and science fiction, and which Battlestar: Galactica rebooter Ronald D. Moore is exec-producing for cable channel Starz. It premieres this summer on Saturday, August 9th, although you can stream the first episode on the channel’s website, starting on August 2nd

Excuse me. I got diverted… to paraphrase Peter David.

A nice surprise in the issue is a piece about Jim Steranko. Now a lot of you may be to young to remember Mr. Steranko, but many, many professionals and fans say that it was his work on Nick Fury: Agent Of Shield in the ‘60s (that decade of the Beatles, Andy Warhol, “tuning in, dropping out, and turning on,” the pill, Vietnam, burning bras, the Chicago Democratic Convention… that decade of social revolution) which bumped up comics from pulp rags to line the birdcage with to a new American literary and artistic medium.

Me, I was too young to understand just how revolutionary Mr. Steranko’s work was, but it definitely sunk into the deeper reaches of my pre-adolescent psyche, influencing my (much) later work in the field, i.e., Mr. Steranko was – and is – an individual in the very best (and maybe sometimes the very worse) sense of the word, “travelling to the beat of a different drum,” as Linda Ronstadt and the Stone Poneys sang in 1967. (Here’s a question for you music trivia buffs out there. Who wrote “Different Drum?”*)

There’s also an oral history of The Terminator, which is interesting, but a little sycophantic, IMHO, although in fairness these types of interviews usually are, and also because I’m not really a fan of Mr. Cameron’s, who has become a Hollywood financial powerhouse and player despite the constant charges of plagiarism leveled against him. Notably Avatar, but also Titanic and the above-mentioned Terminator.

Don’t get me wrong. I love his Titanic. It’s compelling and historically pretty damn accurate. But many film aficionados, including director and writer Peter Bogdanovich, noted the ahem similarity between Cameron’s 1997 film and History Is Made At Night, a 1937 film by Walter Wanger, directed by Frank Borzage, which tells the story of a love triangle between a financial magnate (Colin Clive), his beautiful (and unhappy) wife (Jean Arthur) and a French headwaiter (Charles Boyer). Just where do Jean and Charles meet? On an ocean liner. On her maiden voyage. And guess what? The ship hits an iceberg.

And I love Terminator. But have you ever sat through the credits and seen the acknowledgement to Harlan Ellison? Do you know why? Mr. Ellison filed a suit that complained that elements of the film were sourced from two episodes of The Outer Limits that Mr. Ellison wrote, “Soldier,” and “Demon with a Glass Hand.” Hemdale, Terminator’s production company, and Orion Pictures, its distributor, settled out of court with Mr. Ellison. Part of the settlement included that film credit.

You’d have to ask Bob Ingersoll, who writes The Law Is An Ass column here at ComicMix, about this, but it’s always indicated some degree of guilt to me. Meaning that it’s not worth the hassle and the mucho dinero and time to the defendant to fight a charge that contains enough truth in it that the defendant could conceivably lose.

I wouldn’t do it.

I’d give the money and run.

Wouldn’t you?

*Mike Nesmith of The Monkees wrote “Different Drum.”

•     •     •     •     •

As I filed this week’s column, I heard about the passing of James Garner, 86, on Saturday, July 19, 2014. Though perhaps best known as gambler Brett Maverick and cantankerous private detective Jim Rockford on the eponymous television shows, my favorite Garner roles were U.S. Army Major Jeff Pike in 36 Hours, Lt. Bob “The Scrounger” Hendley in The Great Escape, and King Marchand in Victor Victoria. He will be missed.

James Garner

 

John Ostrander’s Late Look: How To Train Your Dragon 2

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2I don’t always get out to see movies these days and I’ve missed some this summer that I wanted to see. My Mary and I had a chance to sneak in a film this week and we chose to catch How To Train Your Dragon 2 before it disappeared from the movie theaters. We had seen the first one and I had been impressed: good story, good animation, and a sense of things having consequences.

I liked the sequel even more.

I should note that sequels can be notoriously difficult to pull off well. You’ve already told your story. What else do you have and, if it’s any good, why didn’t you tell it first? Mind you, there are notable exceptions to the rule. Godfather II is not only better than the first film, it’s often described as one of the best films of all time. The Empire Strikes Back is also a better film than its predecessor and, for many Star Wars fans, the best of the bunch. The Dark Knight was, for me, the best Batman film thus far.

However, you have others that just don’t live up to the original. Iron 2 was rather sucky, for example. Superman 2 was not as good as its predecessor. Babe is a favorite film in our house; Babe 2… rarely watch it. Once upon a time Warner Bros considered making a sequel to Casablanca.  Fortunately, they never got around to it.

The problem with a lot of sequels is that they exist, not because the creators have a new vision but because the studio, seeing how much money the first one made, wants another bite of that apple. Sometimes, all you get is a refried version of the first movie.

So – what makes How To Train Your Dragon 2 even better than the original? (Mandatory spoiler warning now issued. If you haven’t seen it yet – and you should – you may want to avoid the rest of the column. I’ll be as circumspect as I can.)

(more…)

Marc Alan Fishman: But Why A Comic Book?

freakanomics-8883917Lately, I’ve become a freak. That is to say, a fan of the Freakanomics Podcast. Stephen Dubner and Steve Levitt like to take a topic and ask the questions no one is asking. They also like to start from the opposing side of the common problem in order to find potential solutions. As such, I figured I would let their methodology bleed into my brainpan. I want to tackle a question I’ve had lately and approach it from a different perspective than I’m used to. The problem is simple: With all the more lucrative business ventures that exist for the largest publishers of marketing licenses (that’s DC and Marvel, kiddos), why produce comic books?

Because I’m not an economist and I don’t have the will power to sift through sales data, I’m going to opt to go out on a limb instead. I believe that it’s safe to say that the revenue that comes in for a blockbuster comic book movie – and all the associated merchandising and licensing revenue associated directly to said movie – outweighs the revenue generated from the parent comic book in levels of magnitude that’d astound even Lex Luthor. That in turn would make the common man scoff. Why would Marvel and DC, peddlers of the most recognizably licensable properties, waste any money chasing the paltry profits that stem from their publishing arms, and not just opt to make movies and television? It’s time to freak out.

If I were Mr. Dubner, I’d likely start with the history first. Obviously DC and Marvel have dabbled in non-comic book ventures nearly as long as they have been printing funny books. Look to the Superman serials, radio shows, TV series, et al. And Marvel, too, had their run of crappy movies, TV shows, and odd proto-motion-comic ventures to boot. In their time, perhaps these alternative media led new eyes to the products. More likely though, those models in the past never doled out the bankroll like todays modern day media. At the heart of all those aforementioned side projects though, one would argue that the real crux of content being produced was driven by the rags on the racks. And therein lies the answer to the original question.

Beyond the likely-break-even nature of comic book publishing, the actual process of producing the product establishes worth beyond simple dollars and cents. Because a great comic book story may give birth to an amazing storyline, a new character, or an inventive design. Where might Jon Favreau’s Iron Man franchise be if not for Adi Granov’s ubiquitous model? Would the pockets of the Warner Bros be as full without the library of reproducible stock art for any number of merchandising ventures? Would the House of Mouse’s motion picture business be as entrenched in the zeitgeist today if not for the decades of source material being produced on a weekly basis? And if we’re thinking to a brighter future… How much credit is owed to ComicMix’s John Ostrander if Amanda Waller ends up becoming the Phil Coulson of the new DC movie franchises? Suffice to say on all counts… the sunk costs of producing sequential fiction is a pithy particle when compared to the opportunity cost you’ll gain for making it.

Even if a comic doesn’t sell well – or even is a loss – the final product exists for eternity thereafter. If I as a fan pick up that long forgotten issue of Slingers and pitch it to Marvel in a new and fantastic light, and my relaunch of the title captures the attention of the niche masses of comic book fans, then the thru-line exists that the new book may lead to a new licensable property – like a new character on a cartoon, a subplot to be used in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., or its own Netflix spin-off. The simple math says the loss having to pay for even six issues worth of ink-and-paper (including the per-page costs of the creative team, the salaried cost of editors/administrators, as well as the actual material and distribution costs) may eventually balance out through the usage of the intellectual property that then sits in the archives of the parent publisher. A bad batch of Coke II will never mint Coca-Cola a fortune. And in a few weeks, D-List book will likely net Marvel hundreds of millions of dollars in repeating revenue.

When you think of it that way: why would you ever notproduce a comic book?

 

The Point Radio: OUTLANDER Is Coming – Soon!

For OUTLANDER fans, the wait is almost over. The mega big book series hits the Starz Network in just a couple of weeks (with a sneak preview on August 2nd). Producer Ronald Moore and author Diana Gabaldon talk about the road from book to camera. Plus actor Jay Hernandez, from the Fox summer hit GANG RELATED, talks about making good choices in acting roles and Marvel revives Tony Stark’s ego.

THE POINT covers it 24/7! Take us ANYWHERE on ANY mobile device (Apple or Android). Just  get the free app, iNet Radio in The  iTunes App store – and it’s FREE!  The Point Radio  – 24 hours a day of pop culture fun. GO HERE and LISTEN FREE  – and follow us on Twitter @ThePointRadio.

On The Economics Of Digital Comics

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Have you been noticing that the digital comics scene is a little… active… these days? You’ve got the market getting estimated at $90M for 2013. There are a lot of different reports about how many copies the same day digital editions sell. I’ve heard anywhere from 10% to 25% of the print sales. It seems to vary from title to title and by publisher.

Amazon bought Comixology and it looks like that sale has been completed. Marvel’s announced they’re going to be selling current issues on their Marvel Comics Unlimited app, but nobody is quite sure what that means for Comixology and Amazon. Diamond is bringing back their digital initiative with new partner, Trajectory, after shutting down the old version earlier in the year. It looks like they’re going to be having DC on board with new version.

The money in digital comics in increasing. The distribution contracts are moving around like pieces on a chess board. We’re still largely stuck with DRM – partially at the insistence of publishers and the corporations they license properties from. The formats are anything but standard and the lessons of digital music seem lost on publishing, particularly comics publishing.

Over on the webcomics side of the world, crowdfunding is the new new thing. Oh, Kickstarter’s been a tool of the trade for a while, and an effective tool for pre-orders and financing color print runs. The new kid on the block is Patreon. Where Kickstarter and its class of crowdfunding sites tend to focus on the creation of an object, like a graphic novel or reprint collection, Patreon is more like a monthly subscription. SMBC (the webcomic sometimes known as Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal) is over $8500/month in Patreon pledges. That projects as over $100K/year in crowdfunding income with no books to ship. OK, Zach Weinersmith (the man behind SMBC) might be a bit ahead of curve on this, but there seems to be an increasing amount of money flowing in this direction and the revenue mix is changing for a lot of people.

The digital comics world continues to evolve and we really have two schools right now: an eBook school that’s from the comic book/graphic novel tradition and a webcomic school that’s from the newspaper strip tradition. There’s a little crossover between the two and the world of print. A whole lot of cartoonists see a print book as one of the endgames for making money no matter whether the initial publishing is done on paper or with pixels.

If you’re interested the world of digital comics and how the money flows through it, I’m Kickstarting a book on the subject… through this afternoon. Time’s almost up on that. Feel free to pop on over to https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1524990961/the-economics-of-digital-comics and have a look.

THE LAW IS A ASS #321: THOR AND ROXXON BREAK THE ICE

original-300x153-3825655I suppose Marvel decided to call its evil super-corporation Roxxon, because the name sounded like real-life super-corporation Exxon, but not so close that it would get them sued, and because, back in 1974, the Comics Code wouldn’t have let Marvel call it Roxxoff. And now, having gone for the cheap laugh, let’s move on to a discussion of Roxxon and Thor: God of Thunder# 19.

Roxxon’s history is as checkered as a table cloth in an Italian restaurant. And twice as dirty. It’s reputed that back in the day, when it was called Republic Oil, Roxxon had Tony Stark’s parents killed. Its scientific R & D subsidiary, The Brand Corporation, routinely creates super villains to fight for Roxxon’s interests through such socially uplifting tactics as industrial sabotage. It covered up the disaster when a technology it was developing to beam solar power by microwave transmission went out of control and killed all 200 people in Allantown, Iowa. It tried to find alternative energy sources by kidnaping and studying super heroes. It hired the super villain Flag-Smasher to engage in a murder plot at the United Nations. And that’s just what I learned from Wikipedia. Imagine what I could have found out if I’d had the time to read all of Roxxon’s prior appearances in the comic books.

Anyway, Roxxon was clearly not the poster child for the Good Neighbor Policy. Then it was purchased by the Kronas Corporation.

Kronas was a front organization for the Red Skull, when he was inhabiting the body of former KBG general Aleksander Lukin. Its goal was destroying the democratic capitalist system in general and the United States in particular. And it had ties to terrorist organizations that were being investigated by the United States government. I can’t imagine that era in Roxxon’s history did much for its public perception.

But now, as we learned in Thor: God of Thunder # 19, Roxxon was the “all-new” Roxxon Energy Corporation. It was, once again, its own master and not under the control of the Kronas Corporation. According to its new CEO, Dario Agger, Roxxon was trying to establish itself as a new and benevolent super-corporation. After all, “Roxxon is the world’s wealthiest and most powerful super-corporation. If we don’t know what’s best for the people of this planet, then … who does?” I haven’t heard such uplifting words of public conscience since General Bullmoose.

Roxxon’s first step in its program to prove its benevolence to the world was to supply the planet with much needed drinking water by mining icebergs on Europa, one of the moons of Jupiter, and exporting them back to Earth. Water mined on a moon of Jupiter and shipped back to Earth for human consumption? Assuming the government didn’t immediately quarantine the aqua Eurpoa until it could verify that it didn’t contain lethal alien toxins – assuming Roxxon could actually sell it to the world – well what was that going to cost? That stuff would make Kona Nigari Water look like plain old Evian by comparison.

Now we long-time Marvel readers have learned not to trust Roxxon or its previous CEOs. So it’s understandable that we’re skeptical of Mr. Agger and whatever his agenda for Roxxon truly is. Especially when you consider Agger’s nickname in business school was “The Minotaur” and the cover to the comic shows an actual Minotaur on it. I took English, I studied foreshadowing and that can’t be good.

Moreover, we’re not alone in not trusting Mr. Agger. Neither does Rosalind Solomon, an environmental field agent for S.H.I.E.L.D. Difference being, while we suspect Agger and Roxxon are up to no good – mostly because we haven’t had a chance to read Thor: God of Thunder# 20 yet – Ms. Solomon is quite vocal about her suspicions. “If Roxxon gets caught breaking the law, they simply pay to have the laws changed.”

You know, Roz, Roxxon may be good at being bad, but it’s not that good.

There are many things Roxxon could do with its lots of money to avoid being convicted of the crimes it commits. It could bribe juries to find them not guilty. It could bribe prosecutors or members of the Justice Department not to bring charges. It could bribe judges to rule key evidence was not admissible. It could even become such a super-duper super-corporation that the Justice Department would deem it “Too big to jail.” The one thing it couldn’t do, and hope for any degree of success, would be to bribe lawmakers to change the laws, after they’ve already broken them. Because it doesn’t matter what happens to the laws after you break them.

If you do something that, at the time you did it, was illegal, you broke the law. It doesn’t matter that the law gets changed after you broke it. If it was against the law, you can be prosecuted. If the law got changed after you broke it and what you did is no longer a crime now, you still broke the law. And you can still be prosecuted.

People in Colorado who were convicted of possessing marijuana in October of 2012, didn’t suddenly become non-criminals in November of 2012, when the state voted to decriminalize possession of marijuana. Oh sure, Colorado’s governor might pardon the people who were convicted before the law changed. After all, if Colorado doesn’t deem that behavior to be criminal any longer, pardoning prior offenders would be both a good-will gesture and a way of easing prison overcrowding. But absent something like that, the people convicted before November, 2012 would still be convicted criminals.

In the same way, if Roxxon gets caught breaking some law and pays to have said law changed after it got caught breaking that law, it still broke that law. It can still be prosecuted.

In stating that Roxxon gets away with things, because it pays to have the laws changed after it gets caught breaking those laws, Agent Solomon was showing the same sort of legal acumen demonstrated by the biblical king with whom she shares a name. You know, the guy whose greatest legal triumph was ruling that a baby claimed by two different women should be cut in two because, he assumed, only the false claimant would consent and say, “Yes, I’ll take half a dead baby, please.”