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Mindy Newell: How Unforgetable Sentences Can Help You Make Magic

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…

Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities, 1859

The other day two grandmothers, Mindy and Lynette, were visiting their beloved grandchild Meyer Manual.  After playing and cooing and aahing and watching Alixandra attempt to feed him mashed bananas, 99% of which ended up on his bib and his chin and my elbow and just about everywhere but in his mouth, Lynette said she had to split.  As she was leaving, she said to me, “I love your columns.  You’re such a good writer.”  (Be that as it may.)  I said, “I don’t know where it comes from, I never had any formal training.”  Lynette laughed, and said, “Well, I had formal training, and I can’t write like that.”

Well, I don’t know how good a writer I am; I always think I could be a gazillion-million times better.  But that’s not the point of this column.  This is…

I left soon afterwards, and as I was driving home in my car, listening to All Things Considered on WNYC-FM (my local NPR station), coincidentally the segment was about writing.  Well, not writing exactly, but about great sentences.

The editors of the magazine American Scholar have compiled a list of their ten best sentences in fiction and non-fiction; as associate editor Margaret Foster explained, “It came about as a result of ‘water cooler’ talk around the office. We’re sometimes struck by a beautiful sentence or maybe a lousy sentence, and we’ll just say, ‘Hey, listen to this,’” Her choice, she went on to say, is the last line of Toni Morrison’s [[[Sula]]]:

It was a fine cry — loud and long — but it had no bottom and it had no top, just circles and circles of sorrow.

I haven’t read Sula, but even without knowing the context of the sentence, I agree that it is beautiful. It could be describing the wail of a mother who has lost her child, the ghostly unending cry of six million Jews exterminated by the Nazis in World War II, or the devastating misery of a population in a world gone to apocalyptic madness.  It captures an emotional resonance that echoes of unforgettable pain, unforgivable brutality, and undying loss.

It’s hard to say what makes an unforgettable sentence.  I agree with Ms. Foster, who said, “…in the end, very subjective,” she says. “I mean, who are we to say what the best sentence in The Great Gatsby is?”

By the way, Fitzgerald’s masterpiece, which many consider the Great American Novel, made the list with this sentence:

“Its vanished trees, the trees that had made way for Gatsby’s house, had once pandered in whispers to the last and greatest of all human dreams; for a transitory enchanted moment man must have held his breath in the presence of this continent, compelled into an aesthetic contemplation he neither understood nor desired, face to face for the last time in history with something commensurate to his capacity for wonder.”

It’s not “See Spot run”, is it?

But even Fitzgerald started someplace.

I don’t know if diagramming a sentence is still taught in elementary school English classes anymore, but I remember it as a continuing homework assignment back when I was a student at P.S. 29 on Staten Island, New York.  It began with simple sentences and progressively became more difficult with our increasing comprehension of grammatical structure.  It looked like this, using the simple sentence from above:

Sentence Structure

Actually, that’s not such a simple sentence, “run” is a shortened present participle (don’t ask!), and the grammatically correct sentence should read, “Did you Spot running?”

So let’s pick another, simpler sentence.  How about…

I | love | comics

         …in which the diagram above indicates the “form” of a sentence.  The “I” is the object, “love” is the verb, and “comics” is the subject.

But how do you get from a simple, three-word sentence to something like Fitzgerald’s last sentence [[[The Great Gatsby]]], or to William Faulkner’s [[[Absalom! Absalom!]]] or James Joyce’s [[[Ulysses]]] without your editor throwing you out on your ass with a copy of E.B. White’s The Element of Style following your bruised butt?

It’s the same answer as that old joke: “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” “Practice.”

Or is it?  Maybe it’s something else—a mastery of the language, or talent, or maybe it’s something intangible.

Call it a mystery, call it a gift from God or the Goddess or the Universe or even call it The Force…

Whatever it is that allows some to grace us with words that form sentences that speak truth to us and stay in our heads forever and ever—It’s magic.

Photo by gualtiero cc8-4389740

Marc Alan Fishman: Turtles the Size of Buicks!

No doubt you’ve watched it. If you’re of my generation? You’ve likely re-watched it several times over. And after each subsequent viewing… you ask yourself: Is Michael Bay destroying my childhood one license at a time? In response, I think we’ve all come to relatively the same conclusion– maybe a little bit. But the <a href=”

target=”_blank” rel=”noopener”>trailer in question reveals to us a Michael Bay at his Bay-ie-est.

Let’s start with the good. There’s plenty of hints that the film makers know the lore from which they are drawing. From April O’Boobs’ yellow jacket, the TCRI building, to the relatively recognizable Shredder armor… it’s clear that someone in the production watched a few cartoons in their pre-production meeting. (more…)

The Point Radio: The Twists And Turns On CRISIS

The new NBC thriller CRISIS is filled with twists and turns. So how does the cast keep up? We asked series regulars RACHEL TAYLOR and LANCE GROSS to fill us in, plus 24 gets a comic prequel and who is talking TV on Twitter?

THE POINT covers it 24/7! Take us ANYWHERE on ANY mobile device (Apple or Android). Just  get the free app, iNet Radio in The  iTunes App store – and it’s FREE!  The Point Radio  – 24 hours a day of pop culture fun. GO HERE and LISTEN FREE  – and follow us on Twitter @ThePointRadio.

The Law Is A Ass # 312: The Superior Spider-Manslaughterer

[[[Fifty shades of grey]]] isn’t just a runaway best-seller of debatable literary merit soon to be a major motion picture of, probably, even more debatable merit. It’s also the world we live in.

No, I don’t mean it’s a world of erotic fantasies, BDSM role-playing games, and dominance. Although if it were, can you imagine how that would change the popular Disney attraction  “It’s a Small World?” (And I apologize for having put that now unwashable image into your minds.)

What I mean is that the world isn’t just “white hats” and “black hats,” good or evil. It’s a world of grey tones where everyone has some good and some evil, where everyone is grey. Some people are more good than evil, while others are more evil than good, which is why there are shades of grey; at least fifty of them if bad literature can be believed.

Otto Octavius, the former Doctor Octopus and now the controlling mentality in the body of Peter Parker, who is trying to prove he’s a “white hat” by being a superior Spider-Man is proving instead that, like Batman in [[[The Lego Movie]]], he “only work[s] in black. And sometimes, very, very dark grey.” And the world around him is trending darker too, like it’s got some sort of Goth hashtag.

Which brings us to The Superior Spider-Man #15 and the world’s reaction to the events of The Superior Spider-Man #14. (more…)

Martha Thomases: Frontieres Sans Comics

Please forgive me.  I’m hideously jet-lagged.

Also, I haven’t read a comic book nor any of the news sites for more than ten days.  Whatever the scandal du jour is, I don’t have an opinion.

Although I was in Israel for more than a week, I didn’t see a single comic book.  I saw some newspaper cartoons at the Holocaust Museum, and the international edition of The New York Times in Jerusalem had strips, but that was it.

There were no comic book stores in any of the areas I walked through.  I would think this might be some kind of kink in tourist destinations, but the Arab market in the Old City had three yarn shops.  They were clearly designed for the local market (meaning they had no high-ticket tourist bait), so why were there no comics?

bengrimm1211-7396496Certainly, the kids new about American superheroes.  On Purim, not only did I see various Supergirls but Iron Men, Hulks, Spider-Men and more.  It’s funny to see a kid with side-curls and a Thing t-shirt.  I hope Jack Kirby would be pleased.

One of the most amazing people I met was in Akko, a city in the Western Gallilee.  He had been in the Army, like many Israelis, but he and also been a junkie and had been in prison for a spell.  He got himself together and was working with teens at risk.  One of his projects was to organize a chess club.  Chess is the hip thing to do in Akko.  Arab kids play it.  Jews play it.  They play in tournaments together.

He told the story of a tourist couple, walking in the old section of town late at night, who saw a group of teen boys standing around a dark corner.  The tourists were frightened, but had to walk that way.  When they got close to the boys, they saw that two of them were playing chess, and the rest were watching.

It’s what the cool kids do.

It seems to me that a kid that can learn how to play chess can learn how to plot a story, or at least appreciate a story with a good plot.  If there isn’t a comic book shop in Akko (and, like I said, I didn’t see one), maybe that’s a business opportunity.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to catch up on The Walking Dead.

Photo by Keshet: GLBT inclusion in the Jewish Community cc6-5652740

It’s the Mix March Madness 2014 Webcomics Tournament Sweet 16! Vote now!

UPDATE 3/31: Round 4 is over. Vote in the Elite 8 round now!

UPDATE 3/28 Midnight: We swear, we don’t know how it happened. But we screwed up the totals from Round 3 on a few of the contests, and reported the wrong winners in some contests.

First, our apologies to Grrl Power and Awkward Zombie for misreporting their results, and our apologies to Order Of The Stick and Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal for getting their hopes up. Sorry, folks.

Now, how we’re going to solve the problem: we’re going to replace the strips in the contests, and ComicMix is buying votes to match the current votes for Widdershins (72) and Monsterkind (143), effectively setting the contests at dead even. This allows us to start a new poll right now, which makes the contest even again.

[socialpoll id=”2194504″]

Because of the late start, we’ll extend the voting time for this contest to Sunday at midnight.

Again, our apologies to all concerned.

Round 3 is over, and we’ve raised another $153 for the Hero Initiative. Now we’re down to the webcomics Sweet 16! Round 4 of the Mix March Madness 2014 Webcomics Tournament starts now!

People are now beginning to buy the winning votes, making the difference for Dick Ruby and Widdershins— so get your votes in early and get your friends in too.

In deference to the folks at Emerald City Comic Con voting lasts until Midnight Pacific Time on Saturday, March 29! Here are the latest standings…

(more…)

Box Office Democracy: Muppets Most Wanted

12500491294_e2f625ea81_m_muppets-most-wanted-1011266I feel bad for The Muppets in the same way I feel bad for aging rock bands.  They used to be cutting edge but now they’re content to be a nostalgia act making money by playing the hits.  I don’t begrudge them the work and frankly I might be a little jealous of how much money they’re making doing the same old thing but I wish they doing new and exciting things rather than just jamming out on “Sympathy for the Devil” one more time.  Muppets Most Wanted is a fun movie but it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.

The plot of Muppets Most Wanted centers around an international jewel thief frog who is identical to Kermit with the exception of a mole on his lip.  Using his underling Dominic Badguy (Ricky Gervais), Constantine switches place with Kermit, taking over running the Muppet world tour while Kermit rots away in a Siberian Gulag.  The movie then breaks in to three threads with Gervais, Constantine, and the duped Muppets going on a world tour that corresponds to where robberies need to be made leading to a heist of the crown jewels while Kermit tries to escape his captors at the Gulag (led by Tina Fey) and a pair of mismatched cops (Sam Eagle and a Clouseau-esque Ty Burrell) try to solve the crime.  It doesn’t break any new ground in any of the three threads but the live-action actors are giving it everything they have even when they seem a little over their heads in the musical numbers.  Muppet purists might be a little upset that Walter is still front and center in this movie instead of some of the more established characters.  Muppet purists might also find this film too similar to The Great Muppet Caper to really warrant a whole new film.  Are Muppet purists a real thing?  Is this a demographic that moves tickets?  Wouldn’t they have given up when Jim Henson died, Frank Oz retired and Disney bought the company?

There are two lengthy sequences where you can see all of Constantine’s body and he moves around on his legs and Disney needs to promise they won’t try this with any other Muppets until the effect gets much better.  Everyone knows these are puppets and is willing to accept the limitations that come with that.  I don’t know if it was a marionette or a CGI effect or some combination of the two but it looks atrocious.  There’s a classic look to the Muppets and it all looks fine introducing new for the sake of new (you cannot convince me a dance number was essential to the plot) is a dicey proposition even when it doesn’t look like you’ve hastily inserted a frog puppet via green screen.

I’d like to close by briefly scolding whoever had the idea to have Usher do a cameo as an usher.  I groaned over the next two lines.  You almost pissed away all the good will you generated by having Salma Hayek appear exclusively in a red spandex bodysuit.  Almost.

Peter David & Will Sliney unite for SPIDER-MAN 2099

Via Marvel:

Get ready to party like it’s 2099, bitheads! Because YOU demanded it – Spider-Man 2099 is back and he’s here to stay in SPIDER-MAN 2099 #1! From the splintered fringes of time comes an all-new ongoing series from legendary Spider-Man 2099 creator Peter David (All-New X-Factor, Amazing Spider-Man) and fan-favorite artist Will Sliney (Fearless Defenders, Superior Spider-Man Team-Up)!

Stranded in the present day after the events of the New York Times best-selling Superior Spider-Man series, Miguel O’Hara must come to terms with living in the year 2014. Undercover in the employ of mega-corporation Alchemax, he’ll attempt to change the course of his future and prevent the rise of one of his greatest villains!

“Miguel becomes determined to try and transform his grandfather, Tiberius Stone into a decent guy in the hopes that it will wind up informing the raising of Tyler Stone, and perhaps make him a better person,” says writer Peter David in an interview with Marvel.com. “In short, he’s hoping that he can influence the development of both the present and future of Alchemax.”

“He’s going to find that’s not as easy as he’d hoped,” David continued.

“It’s going to be a huge year for all things Spider!” added series editor Ellie Pyle “This is your chance to get to know Spider-Man 2099 before the Spider-Man universe gets more crowded, and Peter and Will have prepared quite the introduction!”

Can one man change the future? When the dust settles – will there still be a future worth fighting for? The battle for tomorrow begins this July in SPIDER-MAN 2099 #1!

SPIDER-MAN 2099
Written by PETER DAVID
Art by WILL SLINEY
Cover by SIMONE BIANCHI
On-Sale This July!