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Realms of Fantasy is Dead Again

My only current paying freelance gig has been shot out from under me yet again; Realms of Fantasy magazine is being shut down for the third (I think) time in as many years.

SF Scope has the full story. Thanks to all of the owners of RoF for pouring money into it, even though that didn’t work out the way any of us had hoped, and to everyone else who worked on the magazine. I came in very late in its life, but I’m pretty sure hiring me didn’t directly lead to any of its many deaths.

And, if there’s anyone out there looking for someone snarky to review books in that vast realm between comics and skiffy, I am your man.

JOHN OSTRANDER: Comics Lied To Me!

ostrander-column-art-111106-7438091I’ve had some medical tests recently. Seems I have heart palpitations; lordy me, Ah do seem to be a swoon and mint julep away from being a Southern belle. (Hm. Wonder if they make chocolate mint juleps?) It means that my heart skips a beat every so often.

So I went to a cardiologist and he set up a battery of tests to see what this all means. In the first one, they injected a radioactive tracer so they could then do X-rays of my heart from different angles and see what’s going on.

I was ready. I knew the score. If comic books have taught me anything, it’s that radioactivity triggers a DNA change and gives you super-powers. Prime example is Spider-Man – got his powers from a radioactive spider, right? The Hulk got his from gamma radiation, which is a type of nuclear radiation, right? And it was a stress test, okay? What happens when you combine radiation and stress? The Hulk.

So I figured the radioactive stuff would combine maybe with X-rays and I’d get X-ray vision whenever I stressed out. Or maybe a bug might creep into the machine and I’d get X-ray and bug like powers. Spider-Hulk.

All I got was a bill. Not a duck bill. Or a goose bill. I received a financial statement saying I owed them money. What a rip off!

They also did what is called an “Echo Test” a couple of days later. It’s like when they do a sonogram for pregnant women using ultrasound only they do it for the heart. Ultrasound, eh? Okay, that could become something. Something ultra. I know the Ultra line was a failed bunch of comics for Malibu that Marvel bought up and forgot they had until recently… but it could maybe work, right? Combine ultrasound with the radioactive particle and the stress test and maybe I wind up with ultra hearing and X-ray vision. Add in any Hulk-like side effects and now we’re getting somewhere!

Zap. Zilch. Nada. Nothing. That’s what I’ve gotten. So far.

When they did the second part of the stress test, I had a choice. I could climb on a treadmill and get my heart rate up to a certain point or they could do it via an injection of chemicals that would also make my heart beat faster. Of course, some of the shots of the naked Scarlett Johansson – soon to return as the Black Widow in The Avengers flick – that popped up on the web would also probably do the trick but I wasn’t offered that option.

It was a hard choice. We all know about the treadmill in The Flash and how he uses it combined with his superspeed for time travel. Maybe being on the treadmill would combine with an increased heartbeat and would trigger the change. Seemed reasonable.

I opted, however, for the chemical version for three reasons. One – that seemed more likely to interact with the other events and convert my DNA to complete the change. Two – if I got superspeed and went back in time, I might change a little something that would induce a reboot of reality and DC just did that and it resulted in a skinny Amanda Waller. Third – I could do the test lying down. At my age, if you can do something lying down, that’s the option you take.

So I got the chemicals injected, waited forty minutes for them to travel through my system, and went back for more x-rays. I had high hopes for this one. I’d seen Captain America – The First Avenger and that’s more or less what they did with Steve Rogers: injected him with chemicals and bathed him in rays. That turned out pretty spiffy, right? Not only did he get turned into Captain America but it was a pretty darn good superhero film to boot.

SPOILER WARNING: There are no spoilers. You already can guess the outcome. I just got test results is all. They said I was normal. Normal. Since when?

I go in to see the cardiologist next week to get the findings. Friends have suggested that all I’ll get told is that I have an overheated imagination.

If there’s a cure for that, I’m out of a job.

MONDAY: Mindy Newell

TALES OF YESTERYEAR DEBUTS AT IPULPFICTION.COM! FIRST STORY FREE!

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Pro Se Productions and Tommy Hancock announce today that the first story in Hancock’s iPulpFiction.com series ‘Tales of YesterYear’, drawn from the same set of characters spotlighted in Hancock’s debut novel ‘YesterYear’, is now available at iPulpFiction.com.  The first story, THE FIRST YESTERDAY, spotlighting an overview of the universe of the story as well as the origin of the first Hero, is available for absolutely FREE! Go to www.iPulpFiction.com and log in or register for a free account and then browse the shelves for the Tales of YesterYear cover and click the image!  Download THE FIRST YESTERDAY for free from Tommy Hancock and Pro Se Productions!

Moonstone Books Return of the Monsters in stores November 9th.

Moonstone Books Return of the Monsters titles will be available in comic shops on November 9th. Titles include Domino Lady vs. The Mummy, Black Bat vs. Dracula, and The Spider vs. Werewolf.

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Domino Lady vs. The Mummy
The Egyptian sorceress Nephthys has promised to build her mummified mistress the perfect mate. Together, they cut a bloody swath across 1930’s Hollywood in search of the last few perfect bodies to harvest to complete the process. The last thing Nepthys or the mummy expected to run across was The Domino Lady, a perfect body that fights back.

Story: Nancy Holder, Bobby Nash
Art: Rock Baker, Jeff Austin
Cover: Dan Brereton
40 pages, grayscale, $3.99

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Black Bat vs. Dracula
For the first time in history three eras collide in one place as Pulp Fiction’s newest heroine, Death Angel joins forces with Pulp’s enduring vigilante The Black Bat to battle the eternal face of horror, Dracula. Mike (The Phantom) Bullock and rising star Eric Johns bring this spine-tingling tale of darkness, lust and fear to you, wrapped in a visceral cover crafted by horror comic legend Dan Brereton.

Story: Mike Bullock
Art: Eric Johns
Cover: Dan Brereton
40 pages, grayscale, $3.99

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The Spider vs. Werewolf.
A seething, ferocious nightmare from the Spider’s dark past invades New York City, preying upon the innocent and the helpless. Mutilated victims are strewn in the blood-slick streets, and once normal men have become murderous monsters. The Master of Men must face the deadly demons alone. Not even his beloved Nita Van Sloan can be trusted when everyone—including the Spider himself—may not be what they seem.

Story: Martin Powell
Art: Jay Piscopo
Cover: Dan Brereton
40 pages, grayscale, $3.99

For more information on Moonstoen Books, please visit them at http://www.moonstonebooks.com/.

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Hans Zimmer Wants YOU In “The Dark Knight Rises”…

thedarkknightrises_teaserposter-600x887-300x4432-7987642…or at least your voice. Taking a cue from the recording of an audience at San Diego Comic-Con for crowd noise in Tron: Legacy, composer Hans Zimmer wants you to add your voice and try for a chance to be included in The Dark Knight Rises. Says Zimmer:

I’m shining the bat-signal up into the sky to call you all!

We need to hear your voices! Now and Loud! We are creating the sound of a worldwide chant. Everyone come and be part of it. It’s easy:

There is no such thing as out-of-tune, no timing we can’t fix later. If you mumble, growl, scream or whisper, it’s all good. Make it yours. If you only get halfway through, no problem! Do it alone, bring your friends, but do it with energy and commitment.

Let your voice be heard and be a part of our adventure!”

Go to UJAM – The Dark Knight Rises and get the information.

Man, the IMDB page on this movie is going to be huge…

The Complete Lance Star: Sky Ranger Library

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The Lance Star: Sky Ranger series of pulp anthologies and comic books has grown again with the addition of “One Shot!” to MyDigitalComics. Below is a handy list of the places where Lance Star: Sky Ranger books are available. Visit http://www.lance-star.com/ for more information about the Sky Rangers.

PRINT EDITIONS:

Airship 27’s Lance Star: Sky Ranger pulp anthologies volumes 1, 2, and 3 remain available to bookstores and on-line outlets via Cornerstone Books (http://www.cornerstonepublishers.com/). In addition to these outlets, the pulp anthology series joins the Lance Star: Sky Ranger comic book at Indy Planet (http://www.indyplanet.com/) at a new low price. A quick find search for Lance Star will pull up all four titles.

Lance Star: Sky Ranger Vol. 1 Pulp Anthology: http://indyplanet.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=5897

Lance Star: Sky Ranger Vol. 2 Pulp Anthology: http://indyplanet.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=5896

Lance Star: Sky Ranger Vol. 3 Pulp Anthology: http://indyplanet.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=5895

Lance Star: Sky Ranger “One Shot!” Comic Book: http://www.indyplanet.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=4019

DIGITAL EDITIONS:

Lance Star: Sky Ranger Vol. 1 eBook Pulp Anthology: http://homepage.mac.com/robmdavis/Airship27Hangar/index.html#lancestar1

Lance Star: Sky Ranger Vol. 2 eBook Pulp Anthology:
http://homepage.mac.com/robmdavis/Airship27Hangar/index.html#lancestar2

Lance Star: Sky Ranger Vol. 3 eBook Pulp Anthology: http://homepage.mac.com/robmdavis/Airship27Hangar/index.html#lancestarvolume3

Lance Star: Sky Ranger “One Shot!” Digital Comic Book is available at the following:
My Digital Comics: http://www.mydigitalcomics.com/product.aspx?id=c3430ffc-eabf-4a6e-8449-5bdfce110cb7

DriveThru Comics: http://comics.drivethrustuff.com/product_info.php?products_id=96166

The Illustrated Section: http://theillustratedsection.com/lance-star-sky-ranger-one-shot

Graphic.ly: http://graphicly.com/ben-books/lance-star-sky-ranger-one-shot/1

iPulp Fiction Lance Star: Sky Ranger – Vol.1 #1: Attack of the Bird Man by Frank Dirsherl: http://www.ipulpfiction.com/books/LanceStar-Vol1-1-AttackOfTheBirdMan/jacketNotes.php

iPulp Fiction Lance Star: Sky Ranger – Vol.1 #2: Where the Sea Meets the Sky by Bobby Nash: http://www.ipulpfiction.com/books/LanceStar-Vol1-2-WhereTheSeaMeetsTheSky/jacketNotes.php

iPulp Fiction Lance Star: Sky Ranger – Vol.1 #3: Talons of the Red Condors by Bill Spangler: http://www.ipulpfiction.com/books/LanceStar-Vol1-3-TalonsOfTheRedCondors/jacketNotes.php

iPulp Fiction Lance Star: Sky Ranger – Vol.1 #3: Shadows Over Kunlun by Win Scott Eckert: http://www.ipulpfiction.com/books/LanceStar-Vol1-4-ShadowsOverKunlun/jacketNotes.php

iPulp Fiction Domino Lady Vol. 1 – “Target: Domino Lady” by Bobby Nash (features a brief Lance Star cameo): http://www.ipulpfiction.com/books/DominoLady3-TargetDominoLady/jacketNotes.php

Secret Agent X – “The Sea Wraiths” by Sean Ellis (featuring Lance Star): http://www.amazon.com/Secret-Agent-Wraiths-novel-ebook/dp/B0055V3EB6

Keep watching http://www.lance-star.com/ for the latest Sky Ranger news.

Sean Taylor’s Show Me A Hero only $.99 for Nook

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Sean Taylor’s Cyber Age Adventures opus, Show Me A Hero is now available for the Nook at the low price of $.99. You can learn more at http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/show-me-a-hero-sean-taylor/1103852669?ean=2940011330957&itm=8&usri=sean%2Btaylor

“That’s 500+ pages of my short stories from Cyber Age Adventures and iHero Entertainment for less than a measly buck,” said Taylor in his press release.

Here’s what some of the critics said about Sean Taylor’s Show Me A Hero:

“…More fully-rounded, more realistic and, as a direct result, more human than all but the best superhero comic book work.”
—From the introducton by Dwayne McDuffie

“Sean Taylor’s stories focus less on the obvious trappings of the genre, instead homing in on the conflicted, flawed human beings for whom greater-than-mortal powers don’t convey greater-than-mortal morality.”
—Tom Brevoort, Executive Editor, Marvel Comics

“Show Me a Hero delivers a series of stories that are dangerous, intriguing, fun and lathered with that sense of character readers will be sure to love. Once you’re done reading, you’ll know you read a well-crafted, fully rounded piece of work.”
—Dan Jurgens, author of The Death of Superman

“Hitting a heavy beat on the ’human’ in superhuman, Taylor’s stories pulse with a visceral reality. The biggest villains his heroes face might be their own bad habits; their greatest challenges are working through relationships—not surviving the battle. Show Me a Hero lives in the place where modern fiction meets mythology.”
—Barbara Randall Kesel, author of Alien vs. Predator, WildC.A.T.s, Rogue Angel: Teller of Tall Tales

“’Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy.’ Sean Taylor takes F. Scott Fitzgerald to heart in a selection of stories that reveal the high price even super heroes often pay to do the right thing. If there are any tears in these riveting tales— and, I’m afraid, there are—they do not diminish the courage of Taylor’s champions or the power of his writing. These are the quiet pains that stay with the readers and, hopefully, help them appreciate the heroes in their own lives.”
—Tony Isabella, author of 1000 Comic Books You Must Read, Star Trek: The Case of the Colonist’s Corpse

“I’ll sum it up as simply as I can: you’re going to care. That’s what Sean does with his characters and the stories they inhabit. He makes you care.”
—Erik Burnham, author of A-Team: War Stories, Ghostbusters Infestation, Nanover, Civil War Adventures

“Show Me a Hero is not about powers, costumes or catchy code names. It’s about heart and soul, and the choices that make heroes out of ordinary lives.”
—Bryan J.L. Glass, author of Mice Templar, Thor: First Thunder

“A lot of writers talk about trying to introduce superheroes into the real world, but Sean Taylor does it better than most. Perhaps because his stories don’t just have plot, they have a point. They’re not about a series of circumstances and events, but about how those circumstances and events make the people living through them feel. You may not like every story in Show Me A Hero, but I defy you to finish one and be indifferent. You may love them or hate them, be inspired or unsettled, but they’re going to get inside your head and gut and make you think and feel.”
—Paul Storrie, author of Gotham Girls, Justice League Unlimited, Captain America: Red, White & Blue

“Sean Taylor’s work is gripping, sincere and relevant.”
—Dwight MacPherson, author of The Surreal Adventures of Edgar Allan Poo, American McGee’s Grim

“Full of dynamic action and a range of intriguing characters, Sean Taylor gracefully delivers moments of dimension and depth in his stories that explore what being heroic is truly about.”
—Stephen Zimmer, author of the Rising Dawn Saga and Fires in Eden Series

“What will certainly surprise new readers of Sean Taylor’s work is how mature and entertaining the story lines are, not to mention the amount of realism he injects into each and every one of his characters. If you’re on the fence about super hero fiction—if you think it’s just kid stuff—then pick up Show Me A Hero and find out how glad you’ll be to learn you were wrong.”
—Tom Waltz, Editor, IDW Publishing; author of Silent Hill: Sinners Reward, Gene Simmons Zipper

“Instead of the all-powerful visitor from another planet or the millionaire with crimefighting devices that cost more than my house, Taylor shows us a more human hero—and more often than not, a less than perfect one. Show Me A Hero reminds us that heroes come in all shapes and sizes as it takes us down the less traveled path to see just what defines a hero.
—Bobby Nash, author of Evil Ways, Lance Star: Sky Ranger, Deadly Games!

“Guaranteed to pull at your emotions—a must read!”
—Shane Moore, author of the Abyss Walker series

“Show Me a Hero is a great mix of super hero stories that appeal to every reader—dark, sweet, strong and funny, each story has a unique take on the super hero setting. Taylor has done a fantastic job, enticing me every step along the way to draw me into the worlds and become passionate about the characters.”
—Christina Barber, author of Seely’s Pond and Spirits of Georgia’s Southern Crescent

“Sean Taylor’s stories are in-your-face, emotional, and immediate. In this collection, he examines from all angles the odd yet undeniable impulse that drives some people to put on a costume and fight crime in the streets. No kid stuff here—this is serious, intelligent drama and deep, human introspection spiced with plenty of action and intensity (and often a nice twist along the way). Well worth your time.”
—Van Allen Plexico, author of Assembled! and the Sentinals series

Sean Taylor’s Show Me A Hero is published by New Babel Books and is available for the Nook at the low price of $.99. You can learn more at http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/show-me-a-hero-sean-taylor/1103852669?ean=2940011330957&itm=8&usri=sean%2Btaylor

To learn more about Sean Taylor, visit his website at http://www.taylorverse.com/.

Robot Chicken Season Five

As is the new habit in basic cable, the Cartoon Network split the current season of its hilarious Robot Chicken into two halves, airing the first part of the fifth season late last year and then, a few weeks ago kicking off the second season. Where they didn’t follow the script was releasing Robot Chicken Season 5 on DVD just days after the second half debuted October 23.

All 20 episodes are included and I am late in bringing this to your attention because I have been savoring the installments, catching up on what has aired, and working ahead. The show, from co-creators Seth Green and Matthew Senreich, available on Blu-ray and standard DVD in separate packages. And as has become their wont, there are hours of bonus features, some exclusive to the Blu-ray edition, which was not sent for review.

Last year, the show won a much-deserved Emmy Award for Outstanding Short-Format Animated Program and will likely be nominated again based on how much belly-laughing I did with the antics skewering pop culture celebrities, music, television and movies. You can watch mashups like Saving Private Gigli, Schindler’s Bucket List, and Casablankman (and its sequel, airing later this month), although my favorite title was Major League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Extras include seven deleted scenes, over 50 deleted animatics with video introductions (always worth watching), selected episode commentary with the celebrity guests, an assortment of Behind the scenes featurettes and the funny On-air promotions. The Blu-ray also offers alternate audio takes from various sketches throughout the fifth season. DVD purchasers get an exclusive of their own: the ability to download an exclusive, uncensored version of the “Blue Rabbits” song.

Among the more amusing segments: Skeletor watches in horror when Snake Mountain is foreclosed on; Gargamel disguises himself as a Smurf; Major Nelson has Jeannie exactly delicious revenge when NASA fires him, NASA’s Lego people have a very bad launch day. One of my favorites was the war between the Keebler Elves and the Cookie Monster. Given my own recent roast, I can also appreciate the GI Joes’ attempt to spoil one for Cobra Commander.

You want guest stars in on the fun? How about, to name only some: Mila Kunis, Macaulay Culkin, Seth MacFarlane, Clare Grant, Michael Ian Black, Katee Sackhoff, Christian Slater, Michelle Trachtenberg, Abraham Benrubi, Alyson Hannigan, Skeet Ulrich, Olivia Munn, Alan Tudyk, the great Frank Welker, Lea Thompson, Emma Stone, Diablo Cody, Josh Groban, Mark Hamill, Sean Astin, Donald Faison, Amy Smart, the wondrous Adrianne Palicki, Jennifer Lawrence, January Jones, Kevin Bacon, Naomi Watts, Andy Serkis, and, in his final role before an untimely death, Gary Coleman.

ComicMix readers will definitely want to see Geoff Johns’ take on the DC Universe in an extended segment that has yet to air. Additionally, there’s the issue of who’s faster: Superman or Santa Claus and more recently a pretty funny bit between Green Lantern and Sinestro.

While most of the Adult Swim is not aimed at me (or I find particularly entertaining or funny), this is brilliant, knowing humor that I adore and so should you.

MARC ALAN FISHMAN: Crisis on Infinite Indie Earths

I was going to write an article about The Boys this week. I like The Boys. It’s violent. It’s intriguing. It’s full of rich character moments, surprising plot twists, and gritty and emotionally charged artwork. It’s also very close to finishing. So, I digress. I’ll cover it after it’s over. Spoiler alert. I love the series.

With that off my plate, what to write about? I could rant about why I think it’s a silly idea to bring back the Phoenix Force. I could rant about why I think it’s sillier to bring back Johnny Storm. I could rant about why I think it’s silly that DC rebooted its universe, and it’s already suffering from continuity errors. Nah. How about I just take a big fat crap on The War of the Independents. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

So, there I was, looking over the rack a couple weeks back. See, I was a little light that week on books in hand. I gave myself an excuse to nab one more book before I checked out. And there it was at the tail end of the indie racks… War of the Independents. Why not? The cover boasts a bevy of characters from just about every nameable indie cape book you can think of. Bone. Cerebus. The Tick. Scud: The Disposable Assassin. Cassy Hack. Captain Action. Hell, even the Flaming Carrot and Gumby are on the cover. Based on that, and a name that boasts a potential war with them all? There’s no way that could not be awesome, right? It’s like communism. It works on paper. But this here rag, written and occasionally drawn by Dave Ryan, doesn’t work. In fact, if this comic were a person, it would be the drum-beating hippie downing free pints of Ben and Jerry’s at Occupy: Branson.

Disclaimer: I like the Occupy movement in theory. But standing around demanding change isn’t exactly what I’d do to change the world. But I digress.

War of the Independents should be amazing. Getting the permission to work with scads of semi-known characters in a crisis-like setting just makes my mouth water. Who here amongst you would not want to see The Tick and Scud fight alongside Too-Much-Coffee-Man and Milk and Cheese? And then you open the book. Dave Ryan, utilizing every cliché known to comics, pens a tale we’ve already read a million times over… and fails to do anything original with it.

An age-old evil is going across the multiverse killing things. It’s up to a ragtag group of no-names to assemble and save us all. When Captain Action and Madman are on the same page, it’s not the time for prophecies and posturing. When Toyboy and Pokey share page space, it’s not enough to simply have them say “I’ll fight!” and call it a day.

The issue wastes six or seven pages filling us in on a villain as bland as mayo on white. Then Cerebus shows up with a team of people I’ve never heard or seen to fight a muscular super demon… for seven more pages. That’s a little shy of half the book wasted on the kind of crap we’ve read and reread! The other half of the book is just the putting together of the team. You’ve seen this all before. Ryan just hands the reigns over to various authors to pen a panel or two featuring their own creations. And before you know it, the book is over.

Next issue? It’s the all black-hero spectacular. Michael Davis should fire up the death ray. It’s simply not enough to get permission from this pantheon of partial fame, and just plop their character into a panel or two, and hope showing them will be enough. Any fans of the parent books from whence these people came from are hoping to see more than just a silent panel. Comic characters are more than just pretty drawings. War of the Independents thinks it’s simply enough to have them assembled. It’s not.

What I was truly hoping from this book was what the cover itself promised. Page after page of crazy Pérez-packed panels with wave after wave of indie heroes knocking heads with wave after wave of… something. Anything. Zombies. Other villains. Each other. Kids. Puppies. But we never get that far. 31 pages of content yield nothing more than a single fight scene (starring nary a single recognizable hero) and page after page of singularly unimpressive moments. War of the Independents? My Jewish Ass. I’m a firm believer of under-promising and over-delivering. This book should have been called 1 Great Double Page Splash, and Then Some Nonsense. (And the Tick Yells SPOON!)

It’s not a secret that I’m an indie comic creator. Given permission to assemble even a quarter of these creations, I would do more than simply waste time showing them join together. The fun of this idea is all in the fighting. If you’ve got The Badger, The Opossum, and the Unbelievable Laundry Detergent Man coming together, forget the subtext. And for the love of God, spend some time honing the art. No offense (because I know how hard it is to make a comic), but Dave Ryan’s panels are just terrible looking. Front to back, page after page… this was a waste of paper, talent, resources, and my money. And nothing gets my ire up more than wasting my money. To steal a contrived writers trick Dave Ryan likes to use… here’s a nice quote to make me sound fancy:

It is well that war is so terrible. We should grow too fond of it.

Robert E. Lee

SUNDAY: John Ostrander