Please readpart 1 from last week before reading this. Thanks!Spider-Man: The Rice And Beans War
By Glenn Beck

When Manny awoke he was looking down the barrel of an Arizona State Trooper’s gun. He and Juan and the illegal brothers and sisters they were transporting to a better life in Arizona were all sitting on the side of the road hands on head encircled by other State Troopers.

Something in Manny’s head was tingling, as if it was some kind of warning. Manny looked around for something he did not know what until he found it, the spider he was bitten by.

“That’s your spider sense, Ese!” said the spider.

End of part 1

Part 2

Manny quickly reclosed his eyes hoping to wake up from the dream soon. “This can’t be happening. OK. Get a grip Manny, get a grip.” He thought while keeping his eyes shut tight as if the tighter they were the less real the situation will be.

Manny thinks, “OK, it’s possible that Juan and I were stopped by State Troopers. That’s possible. It’s also possible that I’m on the side of the road with my illegal brothers and sisters we were transporting to a better life in Arizona. It’s impossible that the spider that bit me is talking to me. That’s just not possible. So that means everything that’s happening is not happening. I must have had some bad rice or bad beans in my rice and beans.”

“It’s happening, Ese.” Said the spider. You better open your eyes before one of these troopers take them being closed as a threat.”

“Now I know I’m dreaming! How in the world could a state trooper take my eyes being closed as a threa…”

“This wetback’s eyes are closed…gun!”

(more…)

Where do you draw the line between fantasy and reality? Can that line be the same for everyone, or can it be redefined from person to person? Those questions are addressed in the charming and quirky Griff the Invisible, opening nationwide this Friday.

Griff lives in a fantasy world, one with electronic surveillance and a red hot line phone connecting the costumed Griff with the commissioner of police. He is an athletic threat to the scum and villainy that prowl the streets of an unidentified British city. The real Griff literally blends into the scenery as shown early on by the writer/director Leon Ford. He works in a nondescript job, trying to keep to himself but becomes the butt of jokes from office bully Tim.

His only friend appears to be his older brother Tony, who has protected his brother and intimations are made that Griff has suffered in the recent past, forcing his sibling to relocate his life in order to keep an eye on him. Tony, though, has met Melody and is besotted despite her own shy and quiet ways. She lives in her own fantasy world, certain she can find the exact point where her molecular structure can line up with that of a wall allowing her to pass right through the seemingly solid barrier. While Griff has trouble interacting with the exterior world, Melody functions better but is clumsy and apt to trip over her own feet with amazing regularity.

When Griff and Melody meet, it is also the meeting of two complementary fantasy worlds, igniting a truly unique love story. (more…)

A Larkspur native was charged with insider trading Thursday on allegations he made nearly $200,000 by buying Marvel Entertainment options before the comics publisher was acquired by the Walt Disney Co. in 2009, federal authorities said. The SEC said Toby Scammell turned a 3,000 percent profit in less than a month.

via Marin Independent Journal.

My Mary gets pissed-off about a lot of commercials because they’re so stupid. I remind her that, in most cases, we are not the target audience for the product. At 62, I’m rarely the target audience for most products unless they’re for erectile dysfunction or, as I like to call it, Limp Dick Syndrome.

Most products have a targeted audience, and that includes comics. In fact, it has a primary and secondary audience and it might surprise fans to know that they are the secondary audience. Who is the primary audience? Distributors and retailers – or, at least, they have been.

A quick review/primer on how comics are sold: when comics are printed they are shipped to distributors who then solicit the sale of the comics from retailers (traditionally direct sale comic book shops) who have pre-ordered the books based on how many they think they can sell. The books are then, hopefully, sold to a public who comes into the shops and buys them off the shelves.

That’s the trick. If the books don’t find their ways to the shelves, they don’t get sold. The distributor has a catalog in which the books are advertised and where and how they’re placed can determine how many copies of a given book are ordered or if they are ordered. The retailers’ goal is to sell out each book each month. Why? Because they’re stuck with each book they don’t sell; the books are non-returnable. It makes better business sense to order too few than order too many especially when you look at the volume of titles out every month.

The primary goal of the comic book companies is to make money which translates into how many books they sell. They want to convince the distributor to give them bigger space in the catalog so they can attract the eye of the retailers so that they will order more or at least the same amount as the previous month. (Many retailers I know automatically reduce their order by so many percentage points every month unless the book is in the top twenty. They assume readers drop off after a certain point. Why do they assume that? Experience.)

How do the big companies do that? They stage events – crossovers, multiple covers, guest stars (Wolverine or Batman everywhere!), revamps, new creative teams, new directions and so on. The companies hope that the fans will get excited but the real reason is to get the primary target audience to order more. So the stories that the secondary audience – the reader – sees is largely dependent on what grabs the primary audience.

And all that’s going to change. The small independent creators are proving that they can sell their comics online or in digital form direct to the fans. And the big companies have taken notice. DC is making its book available online the same day they go on-sale in shops. If it’s successful, expect everyone else to follow and fast. The secondary audience will become the primary audience.

What will that mean in terms of story? It means things could get real interesting. More on that next week.

(Editor’s note: This column was supposed to be posted on Sunday morning. That’s what the editor set everything up for. But it didn’t happen. We think this is because the editor is an idiot. Our apologies to John and all the Ostranderites all over the globe.)