ItÂ’s autumn.
Yes, I know you look out the window, check the weather, glance at the calendar. ItÂ’s still summer out there. But for the fine folk who work the service industries, itÂs already fall, and their stores, movie theaters, and DVD shelves reflect that Âfact  filling ever fuller of loss leaders and also-rans.
Thankfully, this pre-school/pre-new TV season/pre-Halloween period allows at least this columnist to ruminate on the similarities and differences between how diverse countries and cultures see this era. For example, Vacancy ÂScreen Gems attempt to create a top shelf slasher film – oops, I mean Âgrade A torture porn — which, like Âmilitary intelligence, is a contradiction in terms.
Everybody knows (or should) that slasher films can be enjoyed en masse Âwith crowds screaming and jumping in unison, while torture porn is best appreciated in the privacy of the home. Because, really, thereÂs no surprises or shocks in torture porn, just gross-outs. And, while it can be fun to go Âewwwww in unison, many t.p.Âs don’Ât even have that kind of sadistic imagination involved.
So, hedging their bets, Screen Gems found a suitable prozacritic* quote: ÂItÂ’s Psycho meets Saw, and went from there with the DVD release of Vacancy — the Luke Wilson/Kate Beckinsale suspense vehicle that borrows Norman Bates’ motel, the Two Thousand Maniacs town, the Snuff blueprint, and mashed them all together under the watchful eye of the unfortunately named Hungarian director Nimrod Antal.
There are really two kinds of t.p. flicks: the murder movie and the conflict film. In my book, For One Week Only: The World of Exploitation Films, I explained the difference between scripts that debased their characters and the ones that degraded them. The conflict film (Scream, Saw, etc.) degrades the characters with repeated abuses, but then the antagonists learn and fight back (sometimes successfully, sometimes not). The murder movie (Wolf Creek, Friday the 13th sequels, et al) debases their characters  that is, robs them of even their basest humanity to render them as mere victims ripe for the slaughter which comes like clockwork every seven minutes.
Vacancy, thankfully, is a conflict film, and not a terrible one. The discÂs special features start with an extra that is unheralded on the packaging: an alternate opening which immediately clues you to where the filmmakers hearts were. Because, even in a conflict film, an audience has two basic choices: hope they live or hope they donÂt. You can enjoy their torment and/or enjoy their fight. The alternate opening starts at the end of the story, cluing you in that the bad guys didnÂt Âget away with it but leaving the pretty protagonists fates as yet unknown.
The real fun starts with the Âmaking of featurette, in which handsome, pretty, accomplished, slick, professional Hollywood A-listers attempt to rationalize, with straight faces, why they are catering to the nasty niche. They donÂt succeed, but, personally, I found their squirming far more entertaining than the actual film. I shrieked, I jumped, I ÂewwwwwwÂed. (more…)