Review: ‘Hellboy II: The Golden Army’
If there is one absolute statement that can be made about [[[Hellboy II: The Golden Army]]], it is that this is easily director Guillermo del Toro’s lightest and funniest film — which may just be its greatest downfall. If the first film were to be classified as a “horror/action with comedic relief”, this film is most definitely a “horror/comedy with action sequences,” and that could be what hurts the film the most.
The story picks up about a year from where the first film leaves off: the [[[B.P.R.D.]]] has grown, with the addition of Liz Sherman (Selma Blair), who is now Hellboy’s live-in girlfriend. Tom Manning (Jeff Tambor) is still in charge of the team and is trying his hardest (“trying” being the operative word) to keep it all a secret from the public. There’s all of this, and then there’s also an epic war being forged between a renegade elf prince and mankind.
The film starts off sweet enough, on a military base on Christmas during one of Hellboy’s adolescent years. A cameo from John Hurt gets the audience excited right off the bat. Hurt then tells a young Hellboy the story of the first Human/Elf war. This is where we set the mood for the rest of the film. The story is told using computer-generated wooden dolls, rather than actual elves or humans. While Guillermo is known for his imagination with monsters and/or children, this may have been a bit much in the direction of puerility. Instead of giving the impression of a childhood story, the CGI comes across as sloppy and unfinished.
Reviewing 
, the film based on the Top Cow miniseries by Mark Millar and J.G. Jones, is a difficult request. Directed by Timur Bekmambetov, the film is enjoyable, but solely on a puerile level, and undoubtedly not for the reasons that Bekmambetov intended. This movie is exactly what would happen if a hyperactive 16-year-old was given free range to write a script; it features an Angelina Jolie butt-shot, bullets that don’t travel at normal speed or in a straight line, and the euphoria of telling off your boss and all the jerks at work. But when asked if this film is actually any good, or even a good comic adaptation, the answer is a strong “No.”
Going into this film, you will need to play a bit of a trick on your brain. You need to completely forget everything you experienced in Ang Lee’s 2003 version of the film, while still comparing this film to its predecessor.
, but you shouldn’t do that — this is a whole new beast (pun intended) and needs to be treated as such.
First off, right out of the bullpen, I want to warn readers that this review of 
, the first self-financed feature film from Marvel Studios, WILL HAVE SPOILERS. Normally, I try to keep any stories involving a new release free of them, but as you will read, this film is just chock full of little “fanboy delights” which enhance the experience and are an important part of the overall product.
