Tagged: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Marc Alan Fishman: Selling Out

richie-rich-8523452The other afternoon, whilst sipping on a cool beverage and shooting the breeze with a comic book making cohort, I stumbled upon a most interesting What If scenario. You see, this pal of mine loathes Kevin Smith (of Jay and Silent Bob, and a dozen other ventures). Knowing this, I pressed:

“What would you do if Kevin Smith got a hold of your [Amazing Indie Book I’ve Plugged Before], and decided he just had to turn it into a film. Would you make a deal with him?”

A little bit of hemming and hawing later, the answer was a resounding yes – pending a considerable amount of money was put on the table, as well as some subsidiary rights. It ultimately got me to question myself: Would I put aside my integrity as an artist if it meant a more lucrative life? Well, as much as I’d love to be able to side with the staving artists of the world, I’m a fat dude who loves a good Faberge egg omelet far more than resting on a pile of unsold ideas.

It’s oftentimes the pipe dream of the indie creator, is it not? Certainly Banky and McNeil of Chasing Amy had courted selling out as means to better ends, and no one looked down on them much. The fact is that we barnacles on the S.S. Comics may enter into the endeavor or making pulp for the masses with nothing more than good intentions to entertain, but there’s only so long that one can sustain the hobby without lucrative backing.

As I’ve detailed time and again: each issue of my Samurnauts series represents roughly 250 work hours from concept to completion. Three guys working full time jobs and maintaining contact with loved ones – like our fiancés, wives, and kids – put in those hours. While there’s no greater feeling in the world than seeing a complete stranger plunk down his hard earned cash for my comic, there’s no bigger dream then being able to sustain a career actually making the next issue.

If there were to be a fly on the wall when Shuster and Siegel were pitching Superman, do you think they were contemplating points on the backend when they signed their names on the dotted line? I doubt it. They sold the rights for $130 and a contract to produce more material, to the tune of $150,000 a year for the pair. Superman, of course, went on to become a radio show, a newspaper strip, a cartoon, a television program, and countless cartons of collectable crap. The creators would end up suing DC and other respective owners for a fairer cut for the rest of their natural lives. The notion was clear from the start: putting food on the table will trump a stiff upper lip every time.

When an artist is given carte blanche to see their truest work come to fruition, I’ve no doubt it will always be better than had it been built by a focus group. But there’s a reason why DC and Marvel hire known names to helm their biggest titles. They’re not in the business to take leaps of faith. In the best cases, one could argue that a collaboration between art and commerce leaves the most people happy. See The Avengers. And when it goes wrong, well, funny enough, no one is exactly blaming Eastman and Laird over Bay’s Ninja Turtles now, are they.

The notion of selling out was always troublesome to me. The thing is, the Million Dollar Man was right: Everyone has a price. But there will always be those creations we hold nearest to our hearts and feel the need to protect. I believe for most of us indie creators, our ideas are always on the table for sale because we pride ourselves in the ability to create more where they came from. The hope is when we’re well off enough we can afford to give life to those new ideas without the slimy hand of an unwanted third party. Left to their own devices, Green Day became Foxboro Hot Tubs and without any focus groups to get in the way… ended up sounding like Green Day (from 1968).

So, I say unto all those amidst the Artist Alleyways! You are free and clear to seek that big payday without fear of repercussion. For you see… the artist that pays his bills, and lives to see another day has plenty of integrity in my book.

 

Marc Alan Fishman’s Toy Story

In front of me stands Kyle Rayner, Saint Walker, and Guy Gardner, each behind their impenetrable clamshell wall. Next to them, Alan Scott’s power battery. It doesn’t grant me the power of the Starheart, but when we lost power last week it provided enough ambient light to get me to the staircase. Beside that, a 6” Orion and a 10” Sandman.

To be honest, I sit here, in my man cave a veritable kid in a toy store. The entire Ultraforce sits to my right. Behind me, a cache of Nerf weaponry that would be illegal in ten out of ten office wars. And sitting over my TV, in front of my faux mantle, is my prized possession: the mini replica of Kyle Rayner’s power battery. How coveted is it? It’s out of box and totally played with.

It seemingly goes hand-in-hand with our shared brand of nerditry, does it not? This compulsion to collect. As a child, it started simply enough. He-Man begat the Transformers, the Transformers begat the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and the Turtles begat Exo-Squad and a deluge of Legos. When I reached junior high and began my love affair with comic books, soon the toys of my youth gave way to the collectables attained at the comic shop. They were, of course, the same damned toys. But it mattered not. For a toy in the hands of a comic book aficionado (carefully kept in the packaging that held it) became an investment. Or so the counter-jockeys told us.

What is it about our love affair with pulp and ink that leads us to waste our disposable income on trinkets, props, and replicas? Why do we need to surround ourselves with the relics of our favorite heroes and villains? When we were children – and we all still are in one way or another – action figures and their ilk were there to coax our imagination. Perhaps I’ve grown up too much, but the figures that stand on the chair rail in front of me offer no inspiration. They were purchases on the compulsion to own one example of each of the DC cosmic color spectrum. And when I nabbed that coveted Atrocitus and Larfleeze… did I feel like a more complete human being? Did some icon appear over my head declare “Achievement Unlocked: Poorer Nerd +5”? No. The figures were purchased, put on display, and left for dead.

I admit in between bouts of writers block, or a bad-art-making day I might be tempted to slice open every last one of their plastic prisons and pose them in epic battle. But that thought is stamped out at the siren’s song of Netflix, my DVR, or my Xbox as they pull me away like a cartoon cat lured by window-sill pie.

Some might stick to their guns and cite the collector’s market, eBay, and the like as reason to surround themselves in the mélange of rare molded plastic. But to what end? It’s rare to hear of a collector living a life of leisure through the simple resale of mint-in-box bric-a-brac. Is it because so few of us can really avoid the temptation to create lavish dioramas? I doubt it. If I were to feign a more realistic guess, it would be that the mass manufactured toys released to Wal-Mart alongside the chase figures sold at twice the cost to your local comic shop are only specifically special to a segment of people that already own them in the first place. A snake eating its own tail is never really full, kiddos.

It leads me back to beginning. Why do we buy these hollow treasures? Is it any better, say, then those who buy NASCAR models, commemorative plates, or sports memorabilia? Ahh, that’s the ticket! The golden calves we fill our tombs with are simply extensions of self. I am Marc Alan Fishman, and within that name there are many footnotes. Aside from a loving father, a dedicated husband, a comic book creator, a graphic designer, and Diet Coke consumer, there is also a collection of aforementioned action figures, Nerf guns, and more DVDs than one needs to own – particularly in this day and age of streaming media. These are the items of my id. These are the tactile representations of my singularly unique fandom. As a whole, these relics resolve who I am, if only to myself.

And when I leave this mortal coil, I have complete faith that those I leave behind will take my mountain of useless crap, and donate it to the nearest nerd that will take it. In a perfect world, some snot-nosed punk will use his lightsaber to unearth my Batman: Brave and the Bold Green Arrow (with unusable bow) and place him at odds with a Stealth Mode Iron Man missing most of his extra snap-on armor. Perhaps he’ll have a few fleeting moments of glee before he’s booting up the Playstation X-5000. Maybe later in his life, he’ll remember those toys and seek out a digital copy of The Longbow Hunters or Demon in a Bottle. And when he does, I can only hope he’s old enough to afford that boxing glove arrow replica prop set awaiting him on Amazon.

 

Emily S. Whitten Celebrates TMNT Season Three!

The current Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles animated series continues to be a favorite of mine. It strikes the right balance between being a goofy, fun cartoon about a bunch of lovable characters and addressing more serious and dark themes about power and responsibility. It also does well at adding new ideas, characters, and material while including homages to previous incarnations of TMNT and staying true to the foundations of the overall series. The art is pretty cool and unique; and of course, the voice talent and creative team are stellar.

The series is now in Season 3 (and already renewed for a fourth season!) and has taken on a slightly different focus, with the Turtles leaving the familiar NYC cityscape for other territory. A short while ago I got to sit down at the Times Square Toys “R” Us (a super-cool store with a Ferris wheel and other nifty things inside) with executive producers Ciro Nieli and Brandon Auman, and voice talents Greg Cipes and (briefly!) Rob Paulsen, to chat about the current season (and get some great photos). Warning: we start out all, “let’s talk about things like the themes and stories of the season,” but in the middle somewhere we start nerding out about toys, and it kind of goes all over the place from there. But, you know, that’s one of the reasons I like talking to these guys. So – here we go!

Ciro and Brandon, tell us a bit about the third season. What will we be seeing? And any favorite episodes?

Brandon: We’ve got so many amazing stories coming up. If you’re a fan of the original Mirage series, if you’re a fan of the eighties cartoon series, then you’re going to see a lot of references in Season 3. It’s one of my favorite seasons.

Ciro: The problem with Turtles is that if you ask me what my favorite episode is, it’s literally the one I finished yesterday. I finished the third episode of Season 3 and it’s unbelievable. It’s very much an April-centric episode. We answer a lot of questions about her.

Brandon: We’ve brought back the Punk Frogs for this season. So we’ve got Napoleon Bonafrog, who’s played by John Heder, who is, obviously, Napoleon Dynamite. And we’ve got Genghis Frog, Attila Frog; and that’s a Mikey-centric episode, so it’s pretty exciting. It’s really funny. Really cool.

Does Bonafrog sound like Napoleon Dynamite?

Brandon: Oh yeah, that’s why we got Jon Heder.

Ciro: It’s kind of hard to make him not sound like that.

Brandon: We were like, “Who are we going to cast for Napoleon Bonafrog?” and said, “What about Napoleon Dynamite?” It just made perfect sense and we figured it would be funny, but it’s not reliant on the jokes of Napoleon Dynamite; it’s still a story that stands on its own.

Ciro: And we’ve also got the Dream Beavers this season. The best thing about the Dream Beavers is the voice cast.

Brandon: Robert Englund plays two of the beavers, and John Kassir, who was the Crypt Keeper, plays the other two beavers, but they sound very different.

Ciro: We love John and Robert. They’re such amazing talents. We’re such old horror fans – Brandon and I go way back to the Fangoria days. So Season 3 is the Season of Fango for a little bit.

Brandon: When you go to the woods, you’re kind of limited in your storytelling options. You can do comedy, but the easiest route is doing horror, because the woods are scary, the cabin is kind of freaky, and it’s just easier. It’s easier than doing a big action, New York-style story.

Ciro: One thing that I really loved about the Mirage comic is when you actually got to see the Turtles in nature, when you’ve never seen them in nature before, and you go, “Aw, man, they’re going to leave New York? That’s so weird.” And then you see them meditating on a rock, and there’s a waterfall, or stream, and you go, “Oh, right, they look perfect there.” So there’s a lot of them getting in touch with themselves too, and re-centering their ninja instincts and training.

So Greg, how did you enjoy that, as Mikey, who seems to be one of the more centered turtles anyway?

Ciro: Cipes and Mikey, their third eye is the most open.

Greg: I love seeing the episodes. I love all the green, and the fact that we’re in the forest, and the Turtles are green, because green is such a healing color. It’s rad to be in a different world rather than in the city. And to deal with new characters and monsters.

So how did you like the episode where you were with all the frogs? Was that a lot of fun? Why is it a Mikey-centric episode?

Brandon: Mikey bonds with Napoleon Bonafrog; because they’re very similar in nature.

Ciro: They’re both the best warriors, you know? And Napoleon’s just like, “Whoa, show me something else.”

Greg: We bro out.

Ciro: Yeah, that’s like our reptile amphibian bromance. It’s pretty cool. It’s super cute; I’m into it.

So we have a casting change on one of the main characters, Seth Green is coming in as Leo, as well as of course some other new character voices. How are you enjoying the new dynamic of the show?

Greg: It’s great. Seth Green is a dear friend of mine. It’s awesome. I feel like it’s an elevated experience. Jason Biggs was great; but now it’s a new season, new turtle, new energy. I think everything is heightened and exciting, with higher stakes.

Had you worked with Seth before?

Greg: Yeah, on Robot Chicken. It’s nice having him. And we have so many great guest stars that come in all the time.

Of the guest stars, have you had a great moment with somebody, or a particularly fun story?

Greg: I always love when Roseanne Barr comes in as Kraang Prime.

Brandon: Robert Englund is great.

Ciro: The weirdest day ever was: I’m sitting on the couch next to Paul Reubens, and we’re both watching Danny Trejo work, and Paul Reubens’ mind is blown by him. He’s going, “Where’d this guy come from? I love him.” And then ‘Machete’ comes out, and ‘Pee Wee’ goes, “Oh, I love you!” and then ‘Machete’ goes, “Yeeeaah, I love youuuu!” They were freaking out over each other, and I was standing there going, “What is going on? I’m at work?” Because it wasn’t Paul Reubens and Danny Trejo. When they started bro-ing out, it felt like they were their characters.

Brandon: There needs to be a Machete/Pee Wee Herman movie.

Ciro: Like if they did a bank job or broke out of jail or something.

Brandon: One of my favorite voice actors that we’ve had come in who’s recurring is Gilbert Gottfried as Kraang Sub-Prime. He’s pretty hilarious. And when he found out that Roseanne Barr was Kraang Prime – because when he was recording he didn’t realize that Roseanne Barr was his boss – he thought that was the funniest thing.

Ciro: We have a crazy cast.

We’re always seeing new mutated characters. Are we going to be getting some new ones? Is there a favorite?

Greg: And which ones are going to be made into toys? Is Napoleon going to be a toy?

Ciro: There’s a character in Season 3 Episode 1 called The Creep. Mikey named him. And I want a toy of that. What he came from is so unique. In a weird way he’s part Leonardo DNA. And Leo’s kind of struggling with his problems because he’s physically injured from the aftermath of the Season 2 finale. And overcoming that, embodied in this monstrous form, is kind of cool. It’s a great episode. The Creep is so awesome.

Speaking of the toys, what are your favorites coming out of the show?

Ciro: I can’t find some of them, man.

Brandon: Tiger Claw’s out now!

Ciro: My buddy just texted me and said he picked me up one, and I freaked out.

Brandon: We would like to say that Playmates should send us more toys.

I love that you guys are working on the show and have to go out and look for the toys.

Ciro: Yeah, Brandon and I created Tiger Claw from scratch, and I’m buying it at a Target.

Did the Squirrelanoids ever become toys? They should have a whole little swarm of them.

Brandon: Yeah, they did! That was another original creation from me and Ciro.

Ciro: That thing’s horrifying. Irineo [Maramba] designed the heck out of that thing.

Greg: Did you see the new Mikey, the huge one, here at Toys “R” Us?

Yeah, I loved that!

Ciro: I want it. Everyone has to buy it, because if it does well, they’re going to make the other three.

And then they can make a Splinter, but he’ll be even taller.

Ciro: Well actually, what you’d do is, you’d buy all four, you’d send in the proof of purchase, and then they’d send you a robe and a Splinter mask – and then you wear it, and the scale’s right.

That’d be awesome! So Greg, are you going to get a big Mikey and put him in your house?

Greg: Heck yeah, I’m taking the one right here from Toys “R” Us home with me! I’m going to buy him a seat on American Airlines and put him right next to me. It’s worth it – that’s the coolest toy I’ve ever seen.

Ciro: And then when you wash your clothes and they have to dry and stuff, you can just put them on Mikey. You can dress him in your outfits, or make him a coat rack.

And then he will truly be a melding of Greg Cipes and Mikey.

Greg: He’d be stealing all my girlfriends, though.

You think they’d go for the green?

Greg: Mikey’s so cute. I can’t compete.

It’s true; of all the turtles, he may be the cutest.

Greg: Thanks!

Remember when Splinter had the cheese wheel phone? I got a big kick out of that. I would love to have a working cheese wheel phone. Is there something that shows up in one of the episodes that you would like to actually own; like not as a toy, but a functioning thing?

Greg: I want an Ice Cream Kitty!

Ciro: Ice Cream Kitty came from my fascination with Cookie Puss. Because I grew up on the East Coast, and I would have Cookie Puss dreams, that I would eat Cookie Puss. And I was like, “How do we put Cookie Puss in the show?” And then I realized that Cookie Puss isn’t really cookie. I wanted to do a cookie cat, and that didn’t work, so it became Ice Cream cat.

So what would you like to have in real life, Ciro?

Ciro: We’re having an art show soon, so we’re going to make all the objects we can. Nickelodeon has its own little gallery place for the artists, right at the studio. So we might make up all of our DVDs, and all the SuperRoboMechaForce VHS tapes, and all that stuff.

Brandon: I actually own a version of the stand-up arcade game. Ciro basically took his graphics from the game within the show, and we blew them up and adhered them to this giant game. You can see it on my Instagram.

[Rob Paulsen enters the interview]

Rob: Hi, I’m Rob, and I’ll be your Donatello for the afternoon.

Ciro: One thing I’m working on right now – I have the blueprint for everything in the show, because either I design it or someone I instruct to design it designs it, so we have all the graphics and stuff; and I know where everything comes from, so we’re putting together a functioning, proper Casey Jones costume.

Nice! Are you going to wear it at a con?

Rob: You’d get a lot of dates, Ciro.

Ciro: No, I’ll put it on a mannequin at work. It would require not washing your jeans for eighteen days.

Nice! Rob, of all the crazy things we’ve seen in the current TMNT universe, what would you like to have as a real functioning thing?

Rob: I don’t know what it’s called, but there’s a motorcycle, a Turtle-cycle…

Brandon: The stealth bike?

Rob: I’d get that in a heartbeat.

I am not at all surprised by this. Brandon built the arcade game. I think your next project should be building the motorcycle.

Rob: Well have you seen the smaller bikes that Honda sells? Honda makes these little 125s, for sale primarily in Asia. And each turtle has their own bike. I really want to buy a Donatello bike.

And you should! Is there something any of you would like to share with the fans that I haven’t covered?

Ciro: Brandon has a wealth of knowledge. Oh, Greg, you should plug your Instagram.

Greg: Yeah, there’s always behind-the-scenes stuff on my Greg Cipes Instagram.

Ciro: I’m on Instagram too. I’m superrobot74.

Brandon: And I’m Brandon_Auman.

Ciro: What would you ask us?

Brandon: Like is there going to be a TMNT / Deadpool crossover?

Ohmygosh, is there? Because that would be the most amazing thing. Pizza, tacos? They’d bond, they’d get along.

Brandon: Unfortunately, there isn’t. Without giving anything away, this season is so diverse in terms of, not just location, but themes, and the arc is just so different from the other seasons. Not just that they’re going to the farmhouse, but eventually how the story unfolds over the season is pretty exciting, and harrowing, and it does get a little darker this season, but it still balances out.

Ciro: We get a lot of character stories. And Seth Green really helped coming on as Leo, because he almost aged everybody up a little. Like, taking the lead and doing that. Leo definitely went through a lot last season and is coming out of it no longer who he used to be. He’s taken that next step into his bigger role. It’s kind of the Leo that I’ve been wanting to happen. It’s finally come along. And Seth knew that. I know Seth through Cipes and have met him before a few times through animation, and when I sat down with Seth, right away it was just like, “Mirage is your ten, yeah, I know what you want.” He was ready to do it.

Greg: He knows everything about Turtles.

Ciro: He did his take, which is the proper take, and he knew what to do. And when you hear it…it was weird, because this thing happens with voice actors, where it takes a couple of episodes to get used to hearing them as a character, no matter what it is. Just attaching the voice to the character that’s a design, moving. It’s always odd. It usually takes a couple of episodes. But Seth, even though he came in and it’s a new casting, it was like the first word was odd, and then the next word you went, “Wow, that’s kind of amazing.” It instantly felt right.

Brandon: He’s also gotten better to the point where he kind of ad libs a little bit here and there, and that’s some of the strongest acting, is when he’s kind of just taking it. He ad libs a little and gets this very realistic take, which is really cool.

Ciro: He is Leo.

•     •     •     •     •

And on that note, sadly I had to end the madcap interview so these wonderful folks could get on to their next engagement. However, I did also get to attend the NYCC TMNT panel, so I can also share that what I saw there of this season looks great and includes some new characters shown in my photoset here, including Hun, Renet, and (squee!) Bebop and Rocksteady. So check those pics out!

And until next time, Servo Lectio!

 

The Point Radio: Julie Benz’ Summer Of Turmoil On DEFIANCE

The second season of DEFIANCE has exploded on The SyFy Network and after the events of last year, the characters find themselves in deep turmoil. Series star Julie Benz (“Amanda”) talks about where we find her this season and what we just might expect for the show as the summer goes on. Meanwhile, with so many fan-centric blockbuster films headed to theaters this season, which ones will actually be hits? Tiffany Smith (from Fandango’s WEEKEND TICKET and DC Comics’ ALL ACCESS) weighs in with a few scoops that just might change your opinions.

THE POINT covers it 24/7! Take us ANYWHERE on ANY mobile device (Apple or Android). Just  get the free app, iNet Radio in The  iTunes App store – and it’s FREE!  The Point Radio  – 24 hours a day of pop culture fun. GO HERE and LISTEN FREE  – and follow us on Twitter @ThePointRadio.

TURTLE POWER, TMNT Documentary Coming August 12

turtlepower-dvd-3d-dmub-075fb-e1402517191421-5489026HOLLYWOOD, Calif.  –  Go behind-the-scenes and beneath the streets to discover the real origin story of four of pop culture’s most enduring heroes in the captivating new film TURTLE POWER: The Definitive History of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, debuting on DVD, VOD and Digital HD August 12, 2014 from Paramount Home Media Distribution.  Written and directed by Randall Lobb, the film chronicles the birth of a franchise and reveals the remarkable journey of four of the most unlikely super heroes of all time.  Celebrate the 30th anniversary of Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo and Raphael with this must-see documentary and the August 8th theatrical debut of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles starring Megan Fox and Will Arnett.

In the spring of 1984, a strange new comic book sat beside cash registers in select shops, too big to fit in the racks, and too weird to ignore.  Eastman and Laird’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles presented a completely original breed of super hero.  It was too bizarre, too crazy.  It broke all the rules and should never have worked.  Until it sold out.  Again and again and again.  For 30 years.  Now, peek under the shell and see how this so-called “happy accident” defied every naysayer to become one of the most popular and beloved franchises in the world.

The TURTLE POWER: The Definitive History of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles DVD is presented in widescreen enhanced for 16:9 televisions with English 5.1 Dolby Digital, French 5.1 Dolby Digital, Spanish 5.1 Dolby Digital and English Audio Description, along with English, French, Spanish and Portuguese subtitles.

TURTLE POWER: The Definitive History of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Street Date:                 August 12, 2014

DVD SRP:                   $21.99 U.S.

Runtime:                     98 minutes

Marc Alan Fishman: Turtles the Size of Buicks!

No doubt you’ve watched it. If you’re of my generation? You’ve likely re-watched it several times over. And after each subsequent viewing… you ask yourself: Is Michael Bay destroying my childhood one license at a time? In response, I think we’ve all come to relatively the same conclusion– maybe a little bit. But the trailer in question reveals to us a Michael Bay at his Bay-ie-est.

Let’s start with the good. There’s plenty of hints that the film makers know the lore from which they are drawing. From April O’Boobs’ yellow jacket, the TCRI building, to the relatively recognizable Shredder armor… it’s clear that someone in the production watched a few cartoons in their pre-production meeting. (more…)

Marc Alan Fishman: Turtle Power!

fishman-art-130406-4199584As a license, I have the utmost respect for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Since its comic debut in 1984, the property has been spun off into numerous animated incarnations, several movie franchises (both old and yet-to-come), and a bevy of merchandise unheard of unless you count Star Wars. And I have to give props where props are due: the IP as a whole has never been better. That being said? It could all go downhill very quickly. But I’ll get to that in a bit.

Let’s start at the top. Top of what I don’t know exactly. Let’s say comic books! IDW as of late has been deluging the market with TMNT titles. Ongoings, mini-series, epic crossovers, you name it. And while I’m sad to report that in my tenure as a fan I have yet to actually crack open a volume myself, it comes with great authority (a few of my good friends) that they are doing the characters justice. I will no doubt be jumping into the main book myself with issue #21. Per Comic Book Resources interview with Turtles’ Co-Creator Kevin Eastman, I was drawn into his description of bringing a level of reality (seriously) to the book with the titular teens having to learn new skills.

In so many words, Eastman was quick to note that the Turtles have generally been “ninja masters” and his intent is to remind us that the martial arts are an art form and artists never stop learning. It’s that kind of dedication in concept that sounds legitimately cool to me. Certainly cool enough to elicit a purchase once a month for the foreseeable future.

And what about the boob tube? Well, I’m happy to report that the current product being offered is now (thanks in large part to the CW canning Green Lantern TAS and Young Justice, grumble grumble), Nickelodeon’s relaunch of TMNT, is one of the best cartoons being offered today. won me over in less than a handful of episodes. The team behind it should be commended.

For many folks who don’t “get it,” the Turtles on the surface are merely a weapon and general personality trait. But the Bick show is smart to use those bullet points as inspirations. In the season that I’ve watched thus far, I’ve seen numerous attempts to flesh out each Turtle as an individual. Combine this with smart updates to many TMNT mainstays (Leatherhead, the Kraang, Shredder, etc.), and you get a cartoon that deftly plays to me as an adult while obviously targeting a whole new generation of kids. Compared to the hyper-Japanese-terribly-ported crap I’d seen trading spots with Spongebob? It’s a breath of fresh sewer air to me.

Now this of course brings us around the scary bend, that, of course, being the 600 pound explosive elephant in the room, Michael Bay. From the first utterances of news about his desire to create another abomination out of my childhood pleasures, so was I joined by other shellheads in our trepidation. Bay’s Transformers sits in my mind as one of the worst examples of modern merchandise-driven cinema. And let me be clear: I don’t mind for a second that some movies are built for action figures and bedsheets. But Bay’s adaptation was kinetic to the point of nausea, and riddled with near-racist portrayals of shallow predictable characters. And for whatever reason? It had pot-humor, John Tutoro in an increasingly baffling performance, and more military porn than my copy of Stars, Stripes, and Tits 2: Cannons Ho.

It’s these factors that weigh heavy on our minds. Especially given what little news seems to dribble out from the babbling brook of Bay. The Turtles will be from space? Megan Fox will be April O’Neil? And the title will just be Ninja Turtles? Suffice to say, with all that’s being done right with the brand, it might just take one explosion-riddled movie flop to ruin it all. Follow me on this:

The Green Lantern movie sucked and toy departments got stuck with tons of stuff that didn’t sell. Green Lantern The Animated Series was canned, due in large part to the lack of merchandise sales. Now, if Ninja Turtles tanks, it could take with it the whole property. Obviously the current Nickelodeon cartoon and comic are going to be well into their sophomore years when the Bay feature hits. But nothing like a bad day at the matinee to curb a kid’s appetite for their favorite amphibians. How do I know? Because I gave up on the cartoon when TMNT 3 hit the multiplex. And it took 10+ years for me to forgive them.

Until Bay blows up my childhood again, I’ll be happy to enjoy my new found love of Leonardo, my rapture for Raphael, my doe-eyes for Donatello, and my mania over Michaelangelo. With a potent toon on the tube, and a comic in my buy pile… it’s a good day to be a Turtle.

SUNDAY: John Ostrander

MONDAY: Mindy Newell

 

Emily S. Whitten: Geeklitism – Part I

whitten-art-130108-5164849I think tomorrow I’ll call up Merriam-Webster and suggest a new word for their dictionary. That word? Geeklitism. (Not to be confused with Geekleetist, which posts fun stuff).

It should be in the dictionary, because it certainly is a thing that exists. But how would I suggest they define it? Damned if I know, although I guess the short version could be: “claiming you’re a ‘real geek’ and other people aren’t; claiming you’re the superior geek.” But really, the various aspects of both this attitude and of being a “geek” generally are so broad that I’m not sure they can be encompassed in a dictionary definition.

The reason for this, and the funny thing about “being a geek,” is that it’s a different experience for everyone. For instance, I’ve been a geek probably all of my life; but I don’t know that I ever really knew it until adulthood, when, thanks to the increased ease of finding like-minded people via the internet, it suddenly turned out it wasn’t such a bad thing to be. As far as I recall, no one called me a geek growing up. I had no idea I was part of this mysterious group of people called “geeks.”

“What??” I can hear a geeklitist out there crying out in triumph. “No one called you a geek? That must mean that you didn’t get bullied by the “cool kids” in school! Haha! You can’t understand the suffering and hardships that I went through in my formative years because of my love of stories about hobbits! You are not a real geek like me!” (This is the kind of thing geeklitists say, don’t you know. Sometimes they also add, “And all the girls made fun of me!! I’ve never gotten over that! My life was so hard!”)

But that’s not really what I said, is it? Of course I got picked on. Most kids do. For instance, when I was in first grade and all the cool kids in my new school had moved on to jeans or whatever was in fashion, my mom, bless her, still dressed me in cutesy pastel sweatsuits with big decorative (but pointless) buttons and bows on them. It follows that one of my first memories of my new school is three girls in my class making fun of my clothes on the playground – at which point I probably said something mean.

I was a well-read little child, who could creatively insult other children with words that none of us really knew the meaning of; but they sounded like insults, so it all worked out. For example, at some point in my primary school years, one of the biggest insults I remember using was, “You’re corroded!” (Which makes no sense under the real definition but sounds like maybe you have a gross skin condition?) My favorite of the weird words I personally transmogrified into an insult when young was “You’re a transubstantiationalist!” No one else had any idea what it meant, but I managed to convince the kids I was using it on that it was a really horrible thing to be. Mwahaha. But I digress. Anyway, at that point, we all got in a fight. Like a physical fight, of the kicking and punching and hair and decorative bow-pulling variety. Yowch.

“Whatever!” the geeklitist is saying. “That’s not what I meant. That’s just fashion. You were only a geek if you were ostracized because of your offbeat hobbies and/or love of genre fiction as a child! That’s what makes you a real geek like me.” Well, yes. I was that, too. I used to sit by myself at lunch and read giant books that were too “old” for me, like Clan of the Cave Bear and The Mists of Avalon, propped up in front of me as I ate with painful slowness (something else for which I was occasionally teased, but which turns out to be the healthy way to eat. Take that!). I’d walk down the school halls reading A Swiftly Tilting Planet or maybe The Deed of Paksenarrion without looking up (during which I developed a great sixth sense for not running into people while looking down, which is very handy these days when texting while walking to work).

I was definitely called weird, and often, annoying (because I used big words and talked a lot) more times than I can count. I engaged in some geek activities that probably would have been thought cool by at least the little boys in my class, like watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and X-Men cartoons, but I never realized that, because at that point in my life, boys had cooties. (Of course.) I’m not saying I didn’t have friends; I did, and they were a lot of fun. But I also got made fun of; and as far as I knew, most of my friends were not actually interested in The Lord of the Rings or Batman: The Animated Series. I don’t even know that I ever thought to ask most of them.(Or if I did, and received blank stares, I probably never brought it up again. This is why I’d never make a good Whedonvangelist, another word I’ve decided should be in the dictionary.)

Those were the sorts of things I often enjoyed alone, and didn’t really talk about that much, and that was fine. I knew (from others telling me, repeatedly) that I was a weird child, and I guess I just kind of assumed that was how life was and would continue to be for me – having some interests that nobody around me shared. Of course, that feeling of being alone in one’s interests is often cited as part of the experience of geekdom; and of course, in truth, lots of other people also had those interests; I just hadn’t discovered them yet. But I guess that’s all part of being a geek.

“Ahaha!” an entirely different brand of geeklitist is chortling. “But none of that matters! That’s just kid stuff! You’re not a real geek like me unless you can list, right this minute, in reverse alphabetical order, every superhero who turned out to be a Skrull during Secret Invasion! And until you can name at least three obscure continuity errors in [my favorite comics character’s] ongoing storyline! And unless you can tell me your three favorite fighting tactics for the video game character whose costume you are now wearing!” But, second brand of geeklitist…the water is wide, and the world is large, and I might like a different character than you do, or I might focus on something for different reasons than you do. Are you saying your viewpoint and favorite genre things and factoids are inherently better and geekier than mine, and are the only things that can bestow upon all of us admission into the uber-exclusive society of geekdom, just because they are yours? …Well, yes, yes you are, and that’s pretty self-centered. We can all be geeks in our own ways, with our own specific areas of interest and knowledge. Right?

“No no,” chides another, lone geeklitist, standing apart with one brow raised and pointing a finger at each of us in turn. “You will never, ever be a real geek, because you didn’t watch Firefly until it came out on DVD! You only like the newest Doctor Who! You never participated in the drive to keep Chuck on the air via purchasing mounds of Subway sandwiches. You’ll never be a real geek, not any of you, because (cue dramatic music and Iwo Jima flag-raising reenactment) I was here first, and I claim this geekdom in the name of Geekmoria! It’s mine, all miiiiine!!!!!”

…What? No, really, what? That’s just asinine.

“…”

“…”

“Well…maybe,” says the lone geeklitist doubtfully. “But I was here first.”

How do you know, lone geeklitist? Did you turn on your TV to a new show before anyone else in the entire world? Acquire an ARC of the first book in a now-beloved series? Hold in your excited hands the very first copy of the very first appearance of a comic book character? And even if you did…why does that give you any more claim to an appreciation of it than anyone else? Why does timing somehow make you more passionate about your geekdom than all the other geeks?

“…?”

Exactly.

So, any other geeklitists out there want to make a stand about how they’re the real geeks? I just ask because I don’t like to exclude people, although I realize the irony of saying that to you, geeklitists.

…

…

I’m hearing a lot of silence out there. Guess I’ll just wrap this u–what? I’m sorry? What did you say?

A chorus of low, angry, guttural voices rises from the deep to repeat itself, as one last group of geeklitists has its say:

You can’t be a real geek! You’re a girrrrrrrl!!

Oh, seriously. Shut up already.

And until next time, Servo Lectio!

TUESDAY AFTERNOON: Michael Davis Rises!

WEDNESDAY MORNING: Mike Gold Laughs!

 

Bay: Ninja Turtles to be Equal Parts Sin City and Avatar

  • News
  • April 1, 2012

screen-shot-2012-03-30-at-10-28-13-pm-300x196-4750713While fans continue to rally against explosion producer Michael Bay with his continual nerd-prodding over the recent announcement of the ‘Ninja Turtles’, it seems Bay can’t get enough of the hate. At a recent Transformers: Dark of the Moon Collectors Edition release and signing event at a soon-to-be closed Best Buy in San Paulo, California, Bay dropped a few more details on the upcoming Turtles release.

“We’re taking the best of the property, and trimming off all of the fat. The movie is really sharply written. I know the fans are clamoring against us, but they don’t know all the details. The flick will be equal parts Sin City and Avatar. We have a large part of it ready for pre-production. We’re bringing in [Robert] Rodriguez in to help run the set-shots for the black and white stuff. I’ll be assisting on the 3-D effects. Trust me, seriously, once you see Leonardo, Raphael, and Michelangelo in their Shell Power Suits… you know it’ll be worth all this hype.”

Fans continued to press Bay with questions. One spectator, donning head to toe TMNT merchandise pushed to the front of the line to ask (quite angrily) “What about Donatello?!”

Bay, normally a very jovial celebrity turned cold at the question, and quickly snapped back “Like I said, we trimmed off all the fat,” and had his escort take him out of the back of the store.

Monday Mix-Up: “The Brave And The Bold: The Lost Issues”

  • Uncategorized
  • October 31, 2011

brave-and-bold-batman-and-super-grover-300x450-4565534The patron comic book of Monday Mix-Up has always been The Brave And The Bold, a comic book that delighted in mashing up weird combinations of characters, usually Batman with characters that made almost no sense to combine with, like Deadman, Kamandi, Jonah Hex, Sgt. Rock, Adam Strange, Lois Lane, Scalphunter, the Legion of Super-Heroes, the Unknown Soldier, the Guardians of the Universe, the Joker, R’as al Ghul, and the House of Mystery. This tradition has been carried on in the TV series [[[Batman: The Brave And The Bold]]], which has included many of those combinations and added Space Ghost to boot.

But for some, those combinations just aren’t going far enough. For those, we present The Brave And The Bold: The Lost Issues. Now you can find the missing team-ups with Batman and Jack Bauer, Iron Man 2020, Spider-Man 2099, Harvey Birdman, Groo, Galactus, Dirty Harry, Darth Vader, and Adam West.

Not to be outdone, if you delve into the archives you can also find all the missing Marvel Two-In-One issues where the Thing meets Young Justice, Vampirella, Wallace & Gromit, Tintin, the Warlord, Snoopy, the Spirit, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Walking Dead, and Thing #2 and Thing #1.

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