Author: Michael Davis

Because it’s Christmas, by Michael Davis

  • News
  • December 21, 2007

24382_thumb-1397986Last week I told a bittersweet Christmas story and this week I was going to give my Christmas list of stuff that I thought would make good gifts.

Then…

I remembered the young lady I met in an airport a while back. I never got her name but she told me she wants to be a comic book artist and has no friends. She is a bit overweight and is being picked on at school because of that. She has a less than supportive family. Trust me, when I say “less than supportive” I’m being KIND.

I wrote about her in my column and related a story from my childhood that I hoped she would read.

I know what it’s like to that kid. I may not have been overweight but there were years when I felt I had no real friends. It’s the roughest around the holidays at least I had the support of my family…well most of my family.

So once again, my friend, this is for you. It’s a bit rough but trust me, it turns out OK.

My stepfather was an alcoholic and because of that I did not take my first drink until five years ago. I was under the impression that he was my real father and I did not want to go down the same road as him.

Get this: the way I found out that he was not my real father is an aunt of mine got mad at him and told me.

(more…)

Superman #2 – A Christmas Story, by Michael Davis

  • News
  • December 14, 2007

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!

I love it, love it LOVE IT! It’s by far my favorite time of the year. When I was a kid my mother would always make sure we had a great Christmas no matter what. My mother had two jobs and was going to school year round. I learned years later that she always took a third job around Christmas. So I have a LOT of Christmas stories some good some not so good but most involving comics.

 

Here’s one.

When I was 10 I traded my cousin Greg all the money I had in the world (three dollars) for seven golden age comics he had found in an attic. Among those books were Superman #2, an All-Flash, a Captain Marvel and some others I don’t recall. I remember Superman #2 vividly because this was the age I started to trade comics and the number on the issues were very important to me and this was a Superman comic! I loved those comics, they were my most prized possession. I don’t think anything since has been able to match my pride of ownership for those books.

That year my mom sent my sister and me to Alabama for summer vacation. Yeah, send the little black kids from New York To Alabama for a vacation. That’s great. That’s like sending your dog to Michael Vick’s house for some exercise.

Well by some miracle we survived that summer and I survived the HORRIBLE wait to see my comics again. I am not kidding. I LOVED those books and because they contained Superman #2 I was BMITH (Big man in the hood).

Before I go on I should mention that the way we got to Alabama was by car. Yep, two days and two nights in the back seat with my SISTER! So when we finally got back to the states, (to us Alabama was like ‘Nam) I made a bee-line for my room and my beloved stack of Golden Age joy! The moment I entered my room I knew there was a problem. I could see my floor! For any 10 year to be able to see their room’s floor is a terrible omen of dire things to come. Where were my toys? Where were my baseball cards? (more…)

Jasmine, by Michael Davis

  • News
  • December 7, 2007

About a year and a half ago my very good friend Giselle Fernandez (yes that Giselle Fernandez) called and asked me to dinner because she wanted me to meet a young lady named Jasmine.

Never one to pass up free food, I said yes. Truth be told if Giselle would have said; “Michael, Bigfoot is in my backyard break dancing, can you come over? I think you should meet him.” I would have believed her, dropped what I was doing and gone to her house.

I love Giselle Fernandez. She has been like a sister to me since the moment I met her. In the often BS world of Hollywood she is exactly what she appears to be, a warm, SUPER talented, genuine person. Trust me, that is as rare in Hollywood as a bacon eating Muslim. I still think she was robbed when she was on Dancing With The Stars a few seasons ago.

Giselle’s husband John is also a great guy…dammit!

Anywho, I get to this dinner at this swanky restaurant on Sunset Blvd. and there at Giselle’s table sitting quietly among some real heavy Hollywood playas was Jasmine. Jasmine is very pretty singer from Fiji. Giselle told who ever was sitting next to her (I think he was the head of some mideast oil generating country) to move and I was seated next to Jasmine.

She and I started talking and in the brief hour or so that we spoke I learned a lot about this beautiful young lady. One of the many things I learned was…she did not have a clue, but she was not stupid.

She had come to Hollywood with a real following from Fiji, gotten the attention of a manager and had set out to take the American music world by storm. She told me how her manager was “setting up deals for her.” I asked “what deals?” She said nothing had happened yet but he was working on it. (more…)

Is it me, or are they just stupid? by Michael Davis

  • News
  • November 30, 2007

This was supposed to be a lighthearted article about the wonderful time I had at Mid-Ohio Con and the “Geek List” my ComicMix colleagues and I came up with there. You know, Best Creative Team, Lee & Kirby. Best death of a superhero, Captain Marvel, etc. We came up with many great categories and it would have made for a great article, so great in fact I threatened my follow ComicMix columnists with death by DEATH RAY if anyone wrote that article but me. It’s only fair as I started the Geek List off with the first question.

Anyway that was supposed to be the article, but then I had the misfortune to discover a copy of Southwest’s Airlines Spirit Magazine from June 2006.

On the fourth and fifth page of that magazine, there is an ad for a children’s hospital. In that ad there is a photo of a young black kid on his bike. He is smiling and up beat.

He is also in front of a street sign. You know what street he is on?

He’s on PLANTATION VALLEY DRIVE.

Who in the world poses a black kid in front of a street sign that says PLANTATION VALLEY DRIVE?

What, was Coon Ave too far away? To much traffic on Jungle Bunny Road? Construction on Watermelon Lane? (more…)

Thank you. Thank you very much… by Michael Davis

  • News
  • November 23, 2007

Every Thanksgiving the media does reports on what makes people thankful. It’s always the same things. Husbands are thankful for their wives and kids. Wives are thankful for their husband and kids. Older people are thankful for good health. Kids are thankful for their Mom & Dad. Blah, blah, blah…

blahblahblahblahblahblah!

Give me a break. I mean come on; everybody loves his or her family. Well almost everybody. I forgot about the Menendez Brothers.

I love my family, as I’m sure you do but besides them, I wonder what people are really thankful for?

I think I may know…

Men are thankful for women and power tools. Women are thankful for shoes and power tools (…give it a moment). Skinny people are thankful for fat people. Fat people are thankful for meat. Black people are thankful for Lincoln and videotape, especially in Los Angeles. White people are thankful for golf and vacations. Super models are thankful for books on tape. Liberals are thankful for rent control and gun legislation. Conservatives are thankful for gated communities and guns. (more…)

If I Ruled The World, by Michael Davis

  • News
  • November 16, 2007

s138-6203089Everybody that hates my guts just got a chill when they read the title of this article. Michael Davis ruling the world? Oh HELL NO!

As unlikely as that scenario is (I said unlikely but nothing is impossible and I am working on it) but in the unlikely event that I do someday rule the world this is how I would roll.

How will I come to rule the world? With love, kindness, respect and with unrelenting optimism. If that fails, I am the only person who will have a powerful DEATH RAY that could wipe anyone or anything off of Earth.

WORLD POLITICS

The French will shut the hell up about how they superior in all things art. The US will recognize other countries rights. Canada will just go away. On second thought, let’s keep Canada and get rid of France.

(more…)

With Great Power… by Michael Davis

  • News
  • November 9, 2007

It’s no secret that I think that people who worship celebrity are idiots. I mean, come on; do these people really think that Britney is thinking about them? Every night on a popular entertainment news program they have something called “Britney watch.” That is just nuts to me. This show follows Britney Spears everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE! If she goes to Starbucks there are camera crews watching her sip from a cup. I’m not kidding.

Most of the people we hold up as stars are also looked up to by many as heroes. Really? With that in mind I wondered what would happen if our super heroes acted like today’s stars.

My apologies in advance to DC, Marvel, Archie and everyone else. Hey guys, satire is good for the soul!

High above the skies of Metropolis an epic battle rages. For hours Superman and the evil super villain have traded blow after terrific blow. Neither asking for quarter neither granting any. Finally Superman looks into the face of the evil super villain and shouts, “You can’t win evil, super villain!” The evil super villain produces a green rock from behind his back. He thrusts it out at Superman who withdraws in terror! “ Kryptonite!” Superman says the word as if its very mention is painful to him. The evil super villain flies closer to Superman who is struggling to remain airborne. “Now you will die!!” The evil super villain declares as Superman plummets from the sky! (more…)

Dumb Ass, by Michael Davis

  • News
  • November 2, 2007

DNA pioneer James Watson says blacks are genetically less smart. He told a UK newspaper whites are more intelligent. Watson, the man who along with Francis Crick won the Nobel Prize for discovering the double-helix structure of DNA, is facing a HUGE backlash after claiming that black people are genetically less intelligent than whites.

 

I don’t know what the uproar is. He’s right. Well he’s right when it comes to me. I’m sure he’s smarter than I am.

Or is he?

I’m a pretty smart guy but I doubt if I’m smarter than a Nobel Prize winning scientist.

Or am I?

Mr. Watson tells the world that black people are dumber than white people and expected kudos from the world for his insight.

That’s like me saying Hitler was a hero and expecting a parade for my words of wisdom. Some small minded sick fools may believe that, but just how stupid would they be to say it? (more…)

Because I Said So, by Michael Davis

  • News
  • October 26, 2007

My mother is almost 60 years old. She has been smoking a pack of cigarettes a day for almost 40 years. I don’t smoke. In fact I think it’s a stupid habit and I’m glad she told me not to do it.

She told me not to smoke. I listened. I’ll get back to that in a sec.

As I write this there is a raging debate over who can adopt and raise DOGS in this country. The talk show host Ellen DeGeneres gave a dog away she adopted. The agency said (and it was in the contract Ellen signed) you couldn’t give away an adopted dog so they went and took the dog away from the little girl Ellen had given the dog to. So Ellen goes on her talk show crying like a girl and tells the world of the injustice that has been done to this little girl. So what happened? Well the dog agency owners start to get death threats and Ellen’s legal team threatens “legal action” against the dog adoption agency.

What do I think? I could care less about Ellen, the dog agency, or the dog.

I am a wee bit concerned about this: why there is so much of an uproar about who raises a dog and virtually none about who raises kids? (more…)

The Casting Couch, by Michael Davis

  • News
  • October 19, 2007

I have not gotten into trouble in a while so because I know I will be in Japan when this article runs, I can be safely away from the crap when it hits the fan.

I love the entertainment business for the most part. That’s for the most part. There are some areas of the business I don’t like and what I don’t like most of all are some in the acting profession.

I just don’t like certain actors. That’s certain actors. Most actors I’m cool with, this rant is not for them.

No, this rant is for the two types of actors I can’t stand. The first type is those who think what they do isn’t a profession, it’s a divine right. These “thespians” think they are involved with an art form of the highest ilk. Those conceited, self centered, cocky, arrogant, little brain, stuck-up creeps don’t take acting seriously and really piss me off. (more…)

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