When I first moved into my new home it seemed like every single day for a month I received a sales call from a mortgage company. They always asked for a Mr. Fong. When the calls first started I told them politely that I was not Mr. Fong and asked to be put on the Do Not Call list.
The calls kept coming and for a while I was still polite. I mean, I know how these things work. Mr. Fong had my phone number before me and the mortgage companies computer keeps calling the number. What that means is that every time I asked to be taken off the list, who ever I’m talking to simply hangs up the phone without honoring my request.
Fast forward to a few weeks of getting these calls. Now I’m pissed. So the calls went from this:
THEM: Hello, can I speak to Mr. Fong?
ME: There is no one here by that name, please take me off your call list.
To this:
THEM: Hello, can I speak to Mr. Fong?
ME: There is no damn Fong here! Do I sound Asian??? Stop calling me!!
I realized that this company was full of a bunch of idiots who simply don’t care to listen to you. So I devised another tactic. This is the way I handled the next call:
THEM: Hello, can I speak to Mr. Fong?
ME: (With Enthusiasm!) Speaking!
THEM: Mr. Fong, we see you qualify for a reduced mortgage!
ME: (With more enthusiasm!) WOW! GREAT!
THEM: We would like to send someone out to talk to you. When would be a good time?
ME: (With crazy enthusiasm!) NOW!
THEM: We can send somebody out tomorrow. Is this your current address?
I told them no, the address was wrong then I then gave them a fake address in the HOOD!
The next day at around 4 PM I got another call.
THEM: Hello, can I speak to Mr. Fong?
ME: Yes?
THEM: Mr. Fong. Hi. We must have taken down the wrong address. Can we double-check it?
ME: Why do you say that?
THEM: Well sir, the address you gave us is liquor store.
ME: I assumed you must like being drunk because you keep calling me.
THEM: I don’t understand.
ME: I have told you guys a million (bad word) times I was not Mr. (bad word) Fong!
THEM: Who are you?
ME: None of your (bad word, bad word, REALLY bad word) business.
With that, I hung up. I have not gotten any calls since then, so I guess it worked. What does this have to do with this weeks rant? Nothing! I just love that those idiots wasted their time as they have been wasting mine. And maybe this will help others who find themselves in this predicament.
Now for this weeks rant. No! It’s not a rant. This is a total love fest for the San Diego ComicCon International! Sorry Vinnie Bartilucci, you will have to wait until next week to find issues to debate. This week my friend it’s all about the LOVE! (more…)
Over the weekend, I read the entire trade paperback collection of The Amazing Transformations of Jimmy Olsen. I had anticipated a rollicking journey through my childhood, since I’d read most of these stories as a kid. 
On the west coast, San Francisco’s 
In a column today on 
