His life of privilege is over! With or without the mask, Lone Justice is a man down on his luck – and the streets are mean! Read the latest installment of Lone Justice: Crash! from Mark Wheatley and Robert Tinnell now — or start from the beginning!
New York magazine shows us 8 Reasons Not to Download Wolverine, but they forgot a biggie– it could get you fired. At least, if you’re stupid enough to wite a review of it, and then post the review for FoxNews.com, sister company for 20th Century Fox, the company that’s putting out the movie that’s just been pilfered.
You ask, quite logically, who could be that dumb? Ladies and gentlemen, say hello– and good bye– to Roger Friedman. Since FoxNews.com has pulled the article, we rely on Nikki Finke for the play-by-play:
"Fox 411" freelance columnist Roger Friedman wrote what I’m told his bosses felt was a blatant promotion of piracy on his Fox News web outlet. Besides writing a review from watching the purloined print of Wolverine, Friedman posted, “I did find the whole top 10 [movies in theaters], plus TV shows, commercials, videos, everything, all streaming away. It took really less than seconds to start playing it all right onto my computer. I could have downloaded all of it but really, who has the time or the room? Later tonight I may finally catch up with Paul Rudd in I Love You, Man. It’s so much easier than going out in the rain!” I’m told that Fox News’ actions were swift and severe. First, Roger Ailes, who overseas Fox News, deleted the offending post after he was contacted by 20th Century Fox about it. And then Ailes fired Friedman as a freelance Fox News entertainment writer. I hear the move was done with the full support of News Corp. "He promoted piracy. He basically suggested that viewing a stolen film is OK, which is absolutely intolerable. So we fired him," a source told me Saturday. "Fox News acted promptly on all fronts."
Dean Koontz’s Frankenstein: Prodigal Son, Volume One
Adaptation by Chuck Dixon; Illustrated by Brett Booth
Dell Rey, February 2009, $22.95
There comes a time in every best-selling writer’s life when he realizes that he’d like to make money even faster than he can write books. OK, maybe that realization comes to all of us – but the best-selling writer can actually do something about it. At that point, assuming that scruples aren’t a problem – and how on earth did he become a best-selling writer and keep his scruples, anyway? – the options are two: let someone else write a book under your name, or license something you’ve already written to another medium, and let Joe Hired-Hand do the heavy lifting in that format.
Or, if you’re Dean Koontz, you could do both.
Some years ago, he got Kevin J. Anderson to co-write a novel called [[[Dean Koontz’s Frankenstein: Prodigal Son]]], and then a couple of sequels. (There was also a TV deal at the time, though, sadly, it eventually fell through.) And now long-time comics writer Chuck Dixon has adapted that novel, which was at least half-written by Anderson in the first place, into a comics series…which, of course, still has “Dean Koontz” as the largest thing on the cover.
(I’m beginning to think that popular writers’ names have a nearly homeopathic power – no matter how much they’re diluted, the audience will keep clamoring for more.)
I admit it… On the outside, I look like a big meanie. The motorcycle boots, the wallet chain, the free flowing beard… Yeah, it sure looks like I’m one tough cookie. But on the inside, I’m a pile of cutesy goo. Like a Lisa Frank Folder, coated with extra glitter and scratch and sniff stickers abound (and we’re talking ‘Strawberry Shortcake’ scratch and sniff here, not He-Man Masters of the Sniffing-verse). So, today, my inner me wants to share with all of you rabble-rousers a new webcomic to melt your heart. I mean… make you laugh.
Now, I’ll assume right now that some of you are waiting for the big 180 here, where I reveal a vile and disgusting comic devoid of anything but blood drenched fists soaked in farts, swimming in a pool of poorly worded racial comedy. Perhaps I’ve found some horrible webcomic starring a rotting zombie who tells Vaudvillian jokes whilst deficating on children stricken with disease… Alas, it isn’t true my BFF’s… today, I bring to you a comic so cute, so lovable, you could very well sqwee and die: Kawaii Not.
Since whenever she started it (let’s say 2007-2008’ish), Kawaii Not is the love child of cartoonist/illustrator Meghan Murphy. Taking the Japanese “Kawaii” (cute) concept to heart, with a dash of good old fashioned American sarcasm, and a pinch of “just evil enough to be funny”, Murphy makes a bi-weekly comic that follows a formula as simple as pie: A generous helping of saccharine sweet filling made of everyday objects betwixt a flaky crust of simple ha-ha’s. What does that mean exactly? You get a cutesy-wootsie character who says something mildly evil enough to make you blurt out a laugh. It made me laugh. Did I mention my motorcycle boots have the bad-ass metal plate on the toe guard?
Ms. Murphy’s site offers the complete archive of webcartoons alongside a heaping helping of free avatars. That she would be so generous as to share her wares with us so we can find the perfect avatar to represent out inner child (I personally can’t decide between the “I’m long, fleshy, and not a hot dog” and “I look like Poop; Ice Cream” avatars myself) this author applauds the site for not only being hilarious, but for being so generous with the humor.
And now we take a trip down the Rainbow Road of Infinite Cute-Wooty-Wittleness:
• Smoricide
• When Waffles Don’t Tell the Truth
• Alas, poor Cucumber… I knew him well.
• Click me, you pervs.
• I risk getting kicked in the nads for this, but men, is this not the truth or what?!
• Tomorrow is looking cloudy with a chance of hilarity.
• Put this on a shirt, and I’ll buy 100 of them.
• If you didn’t click the one above, click this, you skeevy pervs.
The Breakdown:
Drama: On occasion the strip will deal with terminal illness, incest, and rape. Wait, that’s Law and Order: the Webcomic. Sorry folks… Kawaii not is just 4 panels of a love delivered twice a week.
Humor: Blend Lisa Frank, My Little Pony, a Gaggle of Giggling Japanese School Girls. Chill overnight. Pour into a tall pint glass and top with whipped cream, sprinkles (or Jimmie’s if you’re from out east), and 14 cherries. After ingesting, perform a dutch oven on your spouse. That is the humor of this strip.
Continuity: As a rogue scholar (as in, I mugged people outside taverns in college) I can conclude without a doubt that Kawaii Not is an epic journey of the subconscious through an alternative dimension where everyday objects celebrate their normalcy through 4 panel pictograms. In the end, it will save us all.
Art: See ‘Humor’ above, but perform the ‘Dutch Oven’ on a piece of pink construction paper. See that rainbow covered in glitter and sunshine? That is what the art is like. Great Japanese styled characterizations presented in a clean and happy site.
Archive: 246 strips, with 2 a week promised for the indefinite future. Enjoy!
Updates: Twice a week, per her FAQ.
Risk/Reward: Ok, here is the true debate. You risk your manhood (if you are a man) by visiting this site, and laughing out loud. Are the jokes deep? No. Are they going to make you smile? You damn straight they will. Peruse the archive (and if you’re so inclined like my fiance, squeal with joy every 20 seconds when you open the next one.) and give it a go.
Now, if you would all excuse me, I need to go watch the Care Bears movie, make some cupcakes, and have a good cry.
It’s WRESTLEMANIA weekend and we kick it off with WWE Superstar Dusty Rhodes on what is is like to live the life of a legend. plus Mike Gold ponders the passing of print and will the WOLVERINE movie leak put a claw through the heart of a superhero blockbuster?
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Henry VIII was a rock star in his day. Anne Boleyn was the fashion plate. Their doings were covered as the pop culture of their day (after all, there wasn’t much else to do). The doings of the Royal Family captivated the English people as much then as it fascinates today. It’s little surprise then that given the politics, power plays, sex, and war that The Tudors
With the third season poised to begin on April 5, it’s high time we looked at the first seasons, both now available on DVD from Paramount Home Video.
Today, most people know two things about Henry VIII: he was fat and he had six wives as he sought an heir. A few more would know he formed the Church of England in a major schism with the Pope so he could divorce his first wife and marry the more attractive Anne.
The series pens with Henry when he was young, virile and active. He was a sportsman, a musician, and well-read. He was also rather randy since, after all, rank hath its privileges. He married Catherine out of obligation not love, although she loved him and remained faithful despite the horrible things done to her in his quest for marital freedom. Season one showed his displeasure with the situation and his growing infatuation with Anne, who wisely didn’t put out until they were married.
Season two followed Anne’s inability to produce a male heir, losing Henry’s attention as his eyes found Jane Seymour. His break from the Church finally occurred and he was left to build his own series of churches.
It’s all fascinating stuff, unless, of course, you know anything about the era then discover the 20 episodes aired to date are rife with anachronisms and inaccuracies. Writer/Creator Michael Hirst defends his choices as saying he was hired to produce entertainment not a documentary and that buys him a fair amount of latitude.
The liberties, though, compress events and change things around. For whatever reason, having seen one Pope in the first season, they bring his successor on stage for the second season, much as Henry seems to go through wives. To make the show work at all, a lot of time compression happens so Henry marries Anne when he’s in his thirties soon after the meet, not nearly a decade later. Perhaps the biggest change, but one that works dramatically was the death of Thomas Cardinal Wolsey.
The historic inaccuracies are lengthy but the show is slick and polished with a large cast that requires paying attention. From sets to performances, you rarely want to take your eyes off the screen.
The performances make the show riveting, starting with Jonathan Rhys Meyers as the volatile, restless Henry. Maria Doyle Kennedy suffers wonderful as poor Catherine while Natalie Dormer is captivating as Anne. Where Catherine was older and less attractive, Anne was colorful, younger and went after what she wanted, which was not only the King’s bed but the power that came with the crown.
Every story needs villains and in his own sly way, Sam Neill steals the first season as Cardinal Wolsey. Additionally, there are the scheming nobles, notably Anne’s father Thomas Boleyn, The Earl of Wiltshire, played by Nick Dunning with cunning. Interestingly, fathers back then thought nothing of encouraging their daughters to sleep with men if it furthered their family’s fortunes (which was entirely the plot to [[[The Other Boleyn Girl]]], which failed to ignite the screen).
Palace intrigue plays out in each episode as everyone vies to better their situation with the exception of Thomas More (Jeremy Northam) who puts his faith and his word above politics and then suffers for it. And even though Pope Paul III had nothing to do with the events depicted, he’s a welcome anachronism since it gives us the wit of Peter O’Toole, seen all too briefly in the second season.
The two box sets come with their brief extras. Several episodes have perfunctory commentary and the extras feel rushed. The first season offers you a look at the production and costume design, the latter of which is well worth watching. You also get a brief glimpse of the contemporary locations where the story was set. On the second season set you have a stronger Tower of London featurette and a weak look at the modern day folk who can trace their lineage to Henry and his legitimate and illegitimate offspring. Both discs are stuffed with sample episodes for Showtime’s other series, an almost desperate cry of “Please watch me” and frankly, several are worth watching but the discs would have benefitted from the very documentary material the show never tried to be.
Before the third season kicks off, you can check out which Tudor you are with a quiz at the show’s website. Me, I qualified as an actor, presuming I was still alive at the advanced age of 50.
We’re on the road again this weekend, this time to I-Con 28, which is all over Suffolk Country this weekend (no, it’s not at Stony Brook Univeristy this year, major repairs going on, don’t ask) and various ComicMix folks will be out in force.
And many many more friendly folks– David Mack, Keith DeCandido, Peter David, Larry Hama, Jeness Crawford, Bob Rozakis, Greg Pak, Jane Yolen, Holly Black, the list goes on and on and on.
I-Con is home to one of the wider spectrums of fans, from anime to science and technology, and generally draws about six thousand people a year and is never the same from year to year. So if you’ve never been there, give it a shot. Tell them we sent you.
Oh my lord, how did I miss the work at TÖRdötCÖM?
Either let us drag you willingly into the future, or be impaled upon the shiny, metallic spikes of our awesomeness. We will bludgeon all resistance with our second generation Kindles and Sony PRC 505s, slicing and dicing holdouts and naysayers with our sleek, sexy MacBook Airs. Now bow before our awesome new lögö. Note the umlaut—it’s totally Spinal Tap, “but way cooler,” according to our latest focus group, a culturally diverse assortment of popular sixth graders (twelve-year-olds being widely recognized as the eternal harbingers of Cool).
It must be understood that we’re not cutting ties with the geek community—rather, we like to think of ourselves as ultra-modern alchemists, painstakingly turning geek into chic. We would never attempt to trivialize the concerns of fandom. At least the fandom we care about—the kind that hangs out at the Apple Store, and look like those kids from Twilight. Young, pasty, sexy, tech-savvy, secret vampires…yes, that pretty much sums up our new target audience.
Where do we start?
And now, all the stories that we couldn’t run yesterday because people would think it’s another prank. I don’t blame them, I barely believe this one myself.
The statement from 20th Century Fox says it all:
"Last night, a stolen, incomplete and early version of X-Men Origins: Wolverine was posted illegally on a website. It was without many effects, had missing and unedited scenes and temporary sound and music. We immediately contacted the appropriate legal authorities and had it removed. We forensically mark our content so we can identify sources that make it available or download it. The source of the initial leak and any subsequent postings will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law – the courts have handed down significant criminal sentences for such acts in the past. The FBI and the MPAA also are actively investigating this crime. We are encouraged by the support of fansites condemning this illegal posting and pointing out that such theft undermines the enormous efforts of the filmmakers and actors, and above all, hurts the fans of the film."
The economic impact cannot be underestimated here, both to Fox and to Marvel, which had pegged May as the month to publish alternate Wolverine covers on every single title. We can assume that word-of-mouth attendance on the film’s opening weekend is going to be hurt. Remember that this was probably going to be Fox’s major money maker for the year– now they have to hope that nobody leaks Night At The Museum 2 or the next Ice Age film.
Between this and a bad batch of Slumdog Millionaire DVDs released without the special features advertised on the box, Fox is not having a good week.
Yep, it was that time of year again. The highlights:
And of course, we have our contributions:
Amazingly, one of those five articles is true. You’ll find out which in less than a month.
Did we miss any? What were your favorites?
Columns / Glenn Hauman / News
Stephen Colbert, we have your writer for “The Chronicles of Amber”!
January 20, 2023
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