Time Magazine reports on the latest victims of the economic downturn by reprinting this letter to the employees of Rich Enterprises, Inc.:

From:  Richie Rich, President and CEO

My loyal employees,

There is no other way to say it, so I’ll just say it.  We are broke.  I unwisely invested all our company’s funds with Bernard Madoff, and now the money is now gone, never to return.  As of January 1, 2009, Rich Enterprises is no more.  You are all without a job, healthcare and pension.  And for this I am terribly sorry.

I was always known as "the poorest little rich boy," but today, that is literally true.  I have nothing.  Every asset has been liquidated.  My gold racecar that runs on cash has been sold.  My dollar-sign shaped swimming pool filled with diamonds has been drained.  I have had to fire my beloved butler, Cadbury, and he is now the personal valet of Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg.  Such is my poverty that I have had to shave the signature dollar sign fur pattern off my thusly-named dog.

Believe me, I have tried every option to avoid this catastrophe.  I appealed to my cousin and longtime rival, Reggie Van Dough, for a loan, but he too was heavily invested with Madoff.  Tragically, Reggie took his own life by riding his emerald-encrusted skate board under the deadly tank treads of Irona, my robot maid.  Best wishes, Reggie.  I hope you’re with Casper now…

Luckily, Bruce Wayne is still doing fine. Nothing’s stopping that Dark Knight money.

Not that Valerie D’Orazio (of the new Cloak & Dagger series, reserve your copies now!) found THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO UNLAWFUL CARNAL KNOWLEDGE FOR FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING GAMES "while searching for something completely different."

Not that she wrote it up on Occasional Superheroine.

But that it’s not comics, and it’s not complete. For that, you have to go to What’s New with Phil & Dixie:

Click through to find out the word. I’d tell you myself, but suddenly I am eaten by a grue.

In yet another example of print publications migrating online, The New Frontiersman has opened up a web site. It’s bare at the moment, but it’s expected to go live on Monday.

And according to AP, things are progressing on the movie release front:

Attorneys for rival studios fighting over the release of the superhero flick told a federal judge on Friday that they’re having fruitful settlement talks.

Attorneys for 20th Century Fox and Warner Bros. asked the judge to delay a hearing Friday so those discussions can continue over the weekend.

U.S. District Judge Gary Allen Feess agreed to continue the hearing but says a trial over whether to block the film’s March release is still set for Jan. 20.

Lou Karasik, who is representing Fox, told Feess that the delay would be "very, very helpful" to settlement discussions he deemed "productive."

Friday’s revelation surprised Feess, who noted that Warner Bros. had been seeking to move up the Jan. 20 trial to next week, citing the film’s marketing campaign and its March 6 release date.

Also, Heidi MacDonald points us to Film Esq., which has the best play-by-play of the legal wranglings going on around Watchmen.

Please please please… is there anyone out there who can translate this from Japanese? Because if I can’t, I’m just going to have to assume this is either DC’s last chance to publish a successful manga book, or Warner Brothers’ fallback position if Fox scuttles the release date of the movie. (Hat tip: Mike Sterling.)

Twilight fans can rest easy with news that Taylor Lautner will return to play Jacob Black again in New Moon, Summit Entertainment’s movie sequel to Twilight, according to New Moon director Chris Weitz via Twilight book series author Stephenie Meyer:

My first priority was always what was best for New Moon—what was going to give us the best possible movie. I’m truly thrilled that Taylor was the one who proved to the director, to Summit, and to me that he is the best possible Jacob we could have. And I’m very much looking forward to seeing what he’s going to bring to Jacob’s character this year.

Production starts soon on New Moon, which is set for release November 20, 2009.

In New Moon, Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) is devastated by the abrupt departure of her vampire love, Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) but her spirit is rekindled by her growing friendship with the irresistible Jacob Black.  Suddenly she finds herself drawn into the world of the werewolves, ancestral enemies of the vampires, and finds her loyalties tested.