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John Ostrander and The Humbug Murders

humbug-murders-4366775I’m a big fan of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. I try to read it every Christmas, I watch multiple versions of it during the holiday season (including a half hour animated version starring Mister Magoo), and in my acting days I performed in the annual theater production of it at Chicago’s Goodman Theater. For the record, I played in the all-important parts of Mr. Lean, Fred’s friend number 3, dancing man, and ensemble.

Coming across a mystery called The Humbug Murders – An Ebenezer Scrooge Mystery by L.J. Oliver, I was quickly drawn in. Not without some hesitation; the notion of Dickens’ notorious miser acting as a detective rattled my chains a bit. Still, I decided to give it a chance.

For the most part, it works. L.J. Oliver is a pen name for Scott Ciencin and Elizabeth Wilson, both of whom are experienced authors. Sadly, Ciencin died in 2014. The story takes place in 1833 when Scrooge was still a relatively young man, only a few years removed from his days working for Mister Fezziwig. The story includes quite a number of characters from different Dickens’ novel as well as a young Dickens himself, still a reporter at this point.

I usually have trouble when authors place characters and creators in the same story. For example, I’ve seen Sherlock Holmes stories were Arthur Conan Doyle is also a character and it is said that Doyle is the “literary agent” of Doctor Watson. These arrangements suggest that the author didn’t have the imagination to create his/her own characters and, as an author, I dislike that insinuation.

Also, I had to reconcile the Scrooge in this mystery with the Scrooge I knew from A Christmas Carol. That was a bit difficult. It was hard to imagine the Scrooge that I already knew having had the experiences he had in this story and still becoming the same man. However, I simply decided that this was the Scrooge of an alternate, parallel dimension. Hey, I work in comics; alternate dimensions are an everyday occurrence where I come from.

In The Humbug Murders, Old Fezziwig, Scrooge’s former employer, has been brutally murdered. (The story has a goodly amount of rather graphic violence and touches on some lurid depravity, all of which may bother some folks.) Scrooge is a suspect and finds himself drawn into the mystery. A masked murderer calling himself Humbug is guilty of the crime and Old Fezziwig’s ghost (of course there are ghosts in the story), appearing to Ebenezer, says three more deaths will follow and that Scrooge himself will be the last victim. Unless, of course, the killer can be caught first.

The authors know the era and the locale, especially the less savory neighborhoods in London. They also know their Dickens and sometimes get a little cute in borrowing lines from A Christmas Carol. It sort of shouts “See how clever I am!” It also took me a little out of the story which an author should never do.

The reveal is a little difficult, requiring the killer to monologue in order to bring it all together. Scrooge himself, although a keen observer of humanity, doesn’t really uncover Humbug’s identity. The lead female character also comes across as a bit of a Mary Sue – the somewhat idealized projection of the female author.

Mostly, it’s a good mystery although I did spot the true killer some fifty pages before the reveal. It didn’t take away from my enjoyment of the book, however. The ending promises a possible sequel which I wouldn’t mind reading although, since Mr. Ciencin died, that may be problematic. It was not a waste of my money which, no doubt, Mister Scrooge would consider a high compliment.

3.5 stars out of five.

Box Office Democracy: “Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse”

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In his wildly popular book on screenwriting [[[Save the Cat!]]], Blake Snyder suggests that every movie needs to fulfill the promise of the premise; to give the audience all of the things they expect to see in the movie based on the title and the promotional materials. You can’t make Legally Blonde without having scenes where a ditzy girl applies her skills as a socialite to the buttoned-up world of law school and you can’t make Star Wars without having some interstellar battles. Unfortunately, Scouts Guide to the Apocalypse didn’t take this to heart as it’s a generic teen comedy layered on top of a generic zombie movie with just a sprinkling of the scout gimmick tacked on mainly at the end. It results in a movie that feels tired and unoriginal.

Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse colors inside the lines very closely. It hits all of the teen comedy beats you know and love, including: kids who want to ditch an uncool friend so they can appear more attractive, kids who get invited to a party by people much cooler than them, awkward teen who doesn’t know to deal with a crush, oversexed teen who pursues sexual gratification at inappropriate times. They take these well-worn classics and slap on a quick zombie overlay and call it a day. This is a movie that feels like Superbad meets Dawn of the Dead, but instead of being those movies they’re the off-brand knock-offs you would find in the bargain bin at a Wal-Mart. Even at its highest highs, Scouts Guide doesn’t feel like it touches the splendor of the movies it copies.

That’s not to say that there isn’t good comedy in here, because there is, they just do the damndest job hiding it. There’s a joke in this movie involving grabbing on to a zombie while falling out a window that I laughed harder at than anything I’ve seen in months. That joke comes well past the halfway point and I had pretty much given up on the entire film at that point so to get such a huge, genuine, reaction from me at that point was practically a miracle. Where was anything near this funny the rest of the way through? I saw two groups of people walk out of the theater before this sequence; they needed to do a better job keeping people engaged. The whole first act was plagued by jokes that the movie clearly thought were funny falling flat and later there are plenty of funny ideas that don’t get enough space and simply die on the vine (zombie cats being the most egregious example). A zombie singing a duet of a Britney Spears song with the main character got a whole chorus.

This is the kind of movie where I can’t help but wonder if there was some kind of tragic problem in the production process that led to such an uneven effort. Three people share the screenplay and story credits, an arrangement that might hint at some kind of dispute over a rewrite. It’s also a hard R movie that I can’t understand how it would appeal to anyone over the age of 17, so this might be a token theatrical run hoping it has a long tail as a cult classic movie passed back in forth as a contraband DVD at middle school sleepovers for years to come. I want to believe that some conflict or secret conspiracy is behind this failure because it’s a movie that fails to live up to a halfway clever title, and that’s just a failure so sad it defies belief.

Marc Alan Fishman: “Unshaven Comics: Open For Business”

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I was recently informed that my local comic shop The Zone (of Homewood, IL) was being sold for a very affordable sum. So affordable in fact, it got many a folk a’twitter (no, not that Twitter) over the feasibility of making that leap into small business ownership. And for a hot minute? Unshaven Comics seriously considered it.

I mean, next to making comics, having your own shop is very much the dream for many. Ask Art and Franco (Aw Yeah, Comics!) or Mark Waid (Aw Yeah, Muncie!). The appeal of growing a community around the comic store is more than a passing desire for me. Why? Because it’s how Unshaven Comics happened in the first place. When I met Matt Wright in sixth grade, he cemented our friendship with the gift of a few comic books. Soon thereafter, trips to the local store – then, Fiction House – were typically at least a weekly endeavor. By high school, Fiction House was more than just a retail mecca. It was church. A collection of gamers, and fans of pulp and paper united by the bond of shared love in off-the-beaten-path minutiae. And it was within this community of nerds, geeks, and dweebs, did we all find a large chunk of our self-identity. One day, we would move from fan to creator. If for no other reason, than being able to place our fiction next to Batman and the like, to declare this is how we’d do it better.

As we grew up, the comic shop never lost its luster. In Indianapolis, Comic Carnival became out haunt of choice. While we never found a community over the course of our college years… the weekly tradition of new comic book day was never to be missed. When we made our triumphant return to Chicago, with our beloved Fiction House now a Chinese food emporium, we tripped over Lansing’s Stand Up Comics. Therein, we found a trio of kindred spirits. Twenty-somethings sharing a long-lasting friendship, united in business. New Comic Book Day soon sprouted into extra-curricular affairs – as getting new books was on the beginning of an evening over shared dinners, and boisterous conversations. It was at Stand Up Comics I made my debut, and eventual retirement from stand up comedy. And far more important… it was where Unshaven Comics was blessed to put our first books on the shelf; to declare this is how we do it better.

Hence, it should come with no surprise when the opportunity to recreate a bit of that magic in my hometown, my beard bristled with glee. I mean, the Aw Yeah guys seemingly are doing well for themselves. And how could comics not be a booming business right now? With the Marvel Movieverse into its strong second phase, DC Comics killing it on TV, and Image Comics proving how creator-owned books can school the mainstream in terms of depth and quality on the page… we’re living in a gilded age! So, a brick and mortar store, in the heart of a well-worn middle class town like mine should be a dream waiting to happen.

A few sobering conversations later? The dream dissipated back into the digital ether where it was born.

The biggest concern, of course, is money. Even at the amazing price the owner is seeking for the shop, it’s not like three working dudes barely into their thirties are sitting on mounds of extra cash. It further belabors that point when two of those dudes are expecting daughters in March of the coming year. Or that the third dude is finally getting hitched all legal-like. Taken a step further… being in debt to start your business – even with a solid base of customers currently streaming into the shop – is daunting. Especially because we’re more than clear that only one of us could ever man the counter. Lest we think owning a small comic shop can replace 3 full time salaries. We wouldn’t bet on it. In addition, as with all business owners, the shop is far more than a collection of current and back issues (and associated brik-a-brak). It’s an environment. Meaning an Unshaven Shoppe would need to reflect our personalities. And somehow, that likely costs money too. It all adds up, doesn’t it?

Great comic shops in the suburbs are more than just pulp and paper now. The need for Pokemon leagues, Magic tournaments, and D&D nights are near must-haves. Most comic shops are also aforementioned social hubs. Home to comedy nights, local high school punk rock shows, and impromptu podcasting studios. Owners of these stores need either to hire local talent (see: those kids in the punk band), or give up any chance at normal work hours. Certainly kids aren’t trolling the comic shop until after school. And while any of us Unshaven Lads might enjoy the ability to sleep til noon on a weekday… we don’t want the result of that gift: working late nights to keep the lights on. It’s not an easy life to tend to a shop. And certainly not one that can support three budding families from day one. It doesn’t warm our hearts either to know that our beloved Stand Up Comics ended up folding over a diminishing clientele base – in spite of every attempt to grow it. The sober facts of the glamorous world of comic book retail.

But grey clouds will part! Soon, the Zone will be home to new owners ready to tackle the tasks we admit defeat over. And I’m likely to meet them shortly after the sale is final. Because every shop needs that community, and what better way to engrain a local independent comic publisher with his community, than being the artist(s) in residence at said shop?

I can think of no better dream to be a part of.

Voices From Krypton: The Boy Who Will Be BATMAN

Actor David Mazouz, who portrays Bruce Wayne on GOTHAN, discusses exclusively with VOICES FROM KRYPTON, the journey that has begun that will see Bruce start to embrace more of the qualities of Batman.

Martha Thomases: Every Picture Tells A Story

apb-8825149I have opinions about superhero comics that have no basis in anything other than my observations. There are no studies, no data, no proof whatsoever. But I have these opinions, and, quite often, reality supports them. Then again, quite often reality disproves them, but this column isn’t about that.

One of my core beliefs is that superheroes comics appeal to our inner two-year-old. That’s about the age when we realize that we have physical and mental limits, and we can’t shape the world to our whims. It’s natural that power fantasies attract our imaginations, because if we could fly and beat up any enemy and never get hurt, we could live the life to which we feel entitled.

This is also why teenagers like superheroes. However powerless you feel as a toddler, that feeling is dwarfed in comparison to how you feel when puberty hits. Now your body is not only able to do what you want it to do, but it’s actively working against you.

If you’re lucky – and you read good superhero comics, and you read other forms of literature and you have a good community for support – you will, while enjoying your power fantasies, begin to understand other points of view. I vividly remember stories from my childhood in which Lex Luthor found a world where he could be a hero. Through him, though looking at his face when he was finally cheered by people who loved him, I understood that each of us wants to be a good guy. We might disagree about what that means, but we are each the protagonist in our own stories.

This is a really long and roundabout way to say that comics are an excellent way to learn empathy and discuss lots of opinions. The most moving recent example I’ve found is APB: Artists against Police Brutality, an anthology about the state of police violence and race relations.

The contents are brief essays and comics about police brutality. Some are to my taste and some are not. (Hint: Clear lettering might not be moody and atmospheric, but it’s legible and that makes a huge difference if you want me to read what you wrote. Rant over.) Some of the essays are a bit didactic and some are so personal and painful that I could barely get through them. Every one came from a place I’ve never been. Every one (even the ones I didn’t like) made me see the world in a new way.

I’m a parent, and, as a parent, my heart skips a beat every time the phone rings when my kid is away from home. When he was first starting to go out by himself, without my hand to hold when he crossed the street, I would make him call me when he got to his destination because otherwise I would worry that he was dead in a ditch somewhere. When he went to college, he almost went out to a ditch just so he could call me from there.

My worries are about drunk drivers or falling pianos or random lightning strikes. I’m not particularly worried about cops. As a white person, that’s not how I was raised. I expect the police to respect me and to watch out for me, my family, and my property. I understand, intellectually, that this is not everyone’s experience.

APB made me understand this difference viscerally. I could see how the police looked from the eyes of someone who is terrified, who is about to be beaten. I could feel the puzzlement and pain a person feels when a loved one goes out to run chores and doesn’t come back, ever. I could feel the shame and heartbreak of a woman whose brother grows up to be a cop who kills an unarmed African-American kid.

The book ends with a list of 881 people killed by police between December 15, 2014, and the date the book went to press on September 11, 2015. I can’t tell the race of each person, nor can I tell the reason he or she was killed.

I do know that each and every one had a story.

The Point Radio: Jack Coleman And The World Of HEROES

As “HRG”,  Jack Coleman has been an important of the HEROES TV mythology from day one. Now, he talks about HEROES REBORN and what lies ahead for the NBC limited series. Plus Josh Gates is a curious guy and he makes that work for him in his show, EXPEDITION UNKNOWN. Did you know Robin Hood was real? Josh has proved it and much more!

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Tweeks: My Favorite Martian Complete Series DVD Set Review

As fans of shows like Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, and Mork & Mindy, we already knew we enjoyed the sitcom stylings of magical mishaps in real life, so we were kind of excited to check out this 60th Anniversary DVD collection by MPI Home Video of My Favorite Martian. For those of you who don’t know (because we didn’t), My Favorite Martian aired on CBS from 1963 – 1966 and pretty much started the whole genre of fantasty/sci-fi TV comedies. The show is about Tim O’Hara (played by Bill Bixby), a newspaper reporter who meets a Martian (played by Ray Walston) and keeps him as his “Uncle Martin.” For three seasons, chaos and hilarity ensue as Uncle Martin’s Martian magic powers get in the way of living a regular Earthling life.

This is the first time all the episodes (107 of them – all unedited & digitally re-mastered) have been put together in the same DVD set. It’s pretty cool for full family watching and also has a bunch of special features for those who might have been big fans of the show back in the day. There’s stuff like Behind-The-Scene Home Movies, Original Commercials, Spaceship Miniature Test Footage, Ray Walston Game Show & Talk Show Appearances, and a radio show interview with Bixby and Walston talking to Lucille Ball. This week Anya reviews it all and Maddy lends a hand in answering Anya’s tough questions like “Who decided Martians have super powers on Earth?” and “Are Aliens real?”

Dennis O’Neil: Our Superhero Posses

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For rent: Secret laboratory. Ideal for mad scientists, superheroes and their posses.

Now, about those posses: time was when superheroes operated pretty much alone, or with a sidekick, who could be anyone from the original Green Lantern’s cab driving Doiby Dickles to Batman’s intrepid though preadolescent Robin. Oh, there were other continuing characters in your basic superhero saga – think Jimmy Olsen and Commissioner Gordon – but when it came to doing the daring deeds the folk in the costumes usually flew solo.

Then things evolved and –

Almost certainly, a lot more people will see Supergirl on television this week than ever read one of the Maid of Might’s comic books. She’s plenty super – give her that – and as bonuses, attractive and charmiing, but she doesn’t fight evil by herself. No, she’s allied with a brainy group of colleagues who hang their doctorates in a secret lab. And if we scan the videoscape, we see that Supergirl has peers. The other two television title characters most like their comic book inspirations, Arrow and the Flash, also have lab-dwelling cohorts who can always be depended on to have the information the good guy/girl needs.

Structurally, the three shows – Supergirl, Arrow, and Flash – are virtually identical. And, again structurally, they’re pretty close to Archie Andrews, that teenage scamp, and the gang at Riverdale High. The biggest difference is that the Riversiders have no laboratory, but nobody’s perfect.

There’s a lot to be said for adding pals to the superheroic landscape. They give the hero someone to talk with, thus allowing readers/audience to eavesdrop on vital exposition (though sidekicks can do this, too, and if you don’t believe me, ask Dr. Watson.) Supporting players can also provide story opportunities. And they can add texture and variety to scenes. And the occasional comic relief. And, by their interactions with the chief evil-queller, they can add depth to that individual’s psyche. But mostly they can serve the same function as those stool pigeons and confidential informants served in the old private eye and cop shows, the scruffies who always knew what the word on the street was: they can quickly and efficiently supply data that enables the hero to get to the exciting part, usually a confrontation.

Finally, the pals and gals give the hero what seems to be absolutely necessary: a family. It’s usually a surrogate family, to be sure, and it may not be much like your family, but it has a familial dynamic and it allows the audience to experience, by proxy, what might be missing from their real lives: a secure knowledge that there are people who can counted on, who will always forgive you and have your back. And such nearests and dearests have to hang out somewhere, so why not a secret laboratory?

And while they’re there, they can supply the location of that master fiend, the one with the purple death ray and the really atrocious table manners.

Molly Jackson is Not Going to Write About It

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I am not going to write about it. I know everyone thinks I will since I am a huge Trekkie, but I won’t do it. Despite my love for the franchise, I’m not gonna write about the new Star Trek series. Not happening at all.

I won’t acknowledge how confused and nervous I am about the potential premise of the show. All they said in the press release is that it isn’t affiliated with the new film. So, what timeline is in, the old fan favorite or the new Abrams one? What year will we be in, Kirk’s era, Picard’s, or a completely different one? And are we even talking about the Enterprise? All of these questions are valid. Still, I won’t acknowledge I am excited under all that nervousness.

And I won’t even admit how nervous I am about the guy at the helm. The same guy who brought us the multiple cringe-worthy, fan-hated Into Darkness. However, Alex Kurtzman has working on some shows I’ve enjoyed. He got his start working Xena and Hercules! Still, he proved in the movies that he just doesn’t get Star Trek. My nervous brain is wondering if he can bring back the true spirit and ideology of Star Trek or if it will just be another plotless, bad story lacking character development, action show on TV.

I’m not going to write about how the new pricing structure is kind of insulting. CBS All Access doesn’t really appeal to me. They want me to spend $72 dollars a year so I can watch two shows. That’s assuming I keep watching Supergirl (which I can get a season pass for on Amazon for $29.99). CBS needs to up their game and they need to do it fast. They rarely appeal to me and their overall image needs to change. Can’t they work a deal out with Warner so they can add some CW shows on there? And for all the arguments that Star Trek: TNG helped launch cable, I don’t really care. It’s mean to do this to fans who might not be able to afford it.

Mostly, I’m not going to let anyone know how pissed I am they announced this in the 49th anniversary year of ST but it doesn’t come out until the 51st anniversary year. Which means they will spend an entire year torturing fans with bits and pieces of details. They knew this damn 50th anniversary was coming; couldn’t they have planned it better?! I hate waiting for details!

I won’t talk about how wonderful it is that they are finally bringing Star Trek back to the medium in which it works best. While the movies are great, the stories really shined in the TV format. TV gave them the ability to single out and look at everyday social issues, from week to week. That is why Star Trek is known for tackling boundaries long before society. So, I can’t admit that I am so excited despite my reservations.

So yeah, I’m just not going to talk about any of this. I’m so glad I’m keeping quiet, I have a lot of uncertain feelings.

Mike Gold: The Hateful Fate

hatefull-8-1571693Watch out. I’m about to go political again.

Quentin Tarantino, one of our most popular heroic fantasy movie writer/directors, has pissed off the nation’s police community with police unions in Chicago, Houston, Los Angeles, New Jersey, New York and Philadelphia as well as the National Association of Police Organizations (NAPO) calling for a boycott of his work.

These sundry organizations were joined by Quentin’s own father, Tony Tarantino. “I love my son and have great respect for him as an artist but he is dead wrong in calling police officers, particularly in New York City where I grew up, murderers.” Wow, I guess Thanksgiving at the Tarantino house is going to be one fun-filled laugh epic.

According to the statement on NAPO’s website, “We ask officers to stop working special assignments or off-duty jobs, such as providing security, traffic control or technical advice for any of Tarantino’s projects … We need to send a loud and clear message that such hateful rhetoric against police officers is unacceptable.

“As a high profile figure, Tarantino’s language is utterly irresponsible, particularly at a time when the nation is seeing increasing and persistent calls for the killing of officers,” NAPO uttered. “Anti-police rhetoric like Tarantino’s threatens the safety of police and citizens alike. The police he is calling murderers are the same officers who were present along the protest route to ensure the safety of protesters, who provide security when he is filming, and who put their lives on the line to protect our communities day in and day out.”

Holy crap. What did Tarantino actually say? Maybe it was more the venue than the language. At the New York City Black Lives Matter rally on October 24, Tarantino discussed the recent horrific wave of killings of primarily unarmed young black people at the hands of our boys and girls in blue, many of which have been videotaped. What he said was “This is not being dealt with in any way at all. That’s why we are out here. If it was being dealt with, then these murdering cops would be in jail or at least be facing charges. When I see murders, I do not stand by. I have to call a murder a murder, and I have to call the murderers the murderers.”

Like most of us, Tarantino has seen the videos and he has expressed an informed opinion. He did not call for the blanket conviction of these officers; he asked that we treat police under such suspicion the same way we treat everybody else. Well, maybe not all white people, but that’s different topic. Note that the director did not say all police, or even any police committed these killings. But that’s not the only outright lie being told by the NAPO.

They also repeat the overworked meme that there’s a national conspiracy of individuals who are wantonly killing police officers. This is not true and, in fact, on-the-job slayings of cops is bordering on a 40-year low.

Sometimes people with shallow imaginations protesting these types of police actions compare the cops to Nazis (to which even Lenny Bruce responded “Nazis? I’m the mailman, motherfucker!”) But this reaction to those who stand up against police violence is right out of the Joseph Goebbels’ playbook. And just watch that sentence get taken out of context.

On the other hand, ever since the incidents in Ferguson Missouri early last August, many cops have been forced to wear television cameras to record their behavior. Because of this, many have cut back on their activities in protest. Because of that, crime has gone up in recent months. It’s as if the petulant police are saying “If you don’t let us do whatever we want, we’ll do nothing at all.” While staying on the public payroll, I might add.

Of course, these cameras cut both ways and can be – and have been – used to exonerate cops from bullshit complaints of police brutality. Nonetheless, police are sworn to uphold the law and the constitution, and that includes those troublesome provisions for freedom of expression and assembly. Historically, they’ve had a great many incidents of difficulty with this concept.

I’ll be at the opening of Tarantino’s next movie, The Hateful 8, in Manhattan on Christmas, the movie’s opening day. I don’t think I will be alone, but I do suspect I’ll be crossing a police picket line before I get my popcorn. The movie goes national the following week.

Quentin Tarantino did not call all cops murderers, nor did he call for the killing of cops. But there is sufficient evidence that a few are murderers and should be investigated.

By the way. As it turns out, Quentin Tarantino has not killed any unarmed black kids.