The Mix : What are people talking about today?

Emily S. Whitten Interviews Jim Cummings

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Is there aaaaanyone here who hasn’t seen at least a video clip of <a href=”

Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger Too at some point? I know I’ve seen plenty – Winnie-the-Pooh was a part of my childhood, and is now a part of the childhood of this Auntie Em’s little nephew and nieces. And would it blow your mind to learn that since the 1990s, Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger too have been…dun dun duuuuun…the same person? Because they have! Well, at least when it comes to the guy who does their voices.

This is one of the things I adore about voice actors – how versatile they are, and how they can do so many voices that just sound nothing like each other; even when the characters are in conversation together. It’s really amazing.

If you know anything about voice actors, you’ll know that when I talk about the voice of Pooh and Tigger, I’m talking about the epically talented voice actor and voice of all of our childhoods, Jim Cummings. Along with Pooh and Tigger, Jim’s voices include The Terror That Flaps in the Night (<a href=”

Duck]! I watched that show religiously); Disney’s Pete (<a href=”

Troop, yay!); Mr. Bumpy of Bump in the Night (My tiny hamster Squishington approves); Looney Tunes’ Tazmanian Devil; Ray from The Princess and the Frog; Fat Cat and Monterey Jack from Rescue Rangers; and sooooo many others.

I had a chance to chat with Jim about his work while at Awesome Con 2015 in Washington DC (and if you missed my previous coverage, check out my con round-up and my interview with voice actor Jess Harnell at the links), and it was a real pleasure. We discussed all sorts of things, including his approach to voicing legacy characters versus original characters, the recording process, singing as a character, and advice for aspiring voice actors. And, of course, he bounced (as Tigger would say) into character and did a few voices for me, as well!

You can check out the video of my interview with the amazing Jim Cummings <a href=”

. And if you prefer the audio instead, you can head over to SoundCloud here and give it a listen.

So enjoy! And until next time, go have yourself a snack (maybe a smackerel of honey?) and Servo Lectio!

Mindy Newell: These Are The Voyages…

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“Don’t screw this up.”

Admiral Maxwell Forrest, Starfleet Command, to Captain Jonathan Archer • “Broken Bow” • Episode 1, Season 1, Enterprise

As I mentioned in last week’s column (Oh Boy), Scott Bakula also starred as Captain Jonathan Archer on Enterprise, which ran on the UPN network from September 2001 to May 2005, a total of four years. That’s one more year than TOS’s run, but three years shorter than its successful progenitors, Next Gen, Deep Space Nine, and Voyager.

UPN claimed that poor ratings caused Enterprise’s downfall; according to Wikipedia, it never rose above the Top 100 rank in the Neilson ratings system, debuting at #115, and continuing to sink until its final season, where it landed at #148. It’s generally perceived as a failure, and has been blamed for the lack of any Star Trek on either television or movie screens until J.J. Abrams’s 2009 film reboot of the franchise.

Set in the year 2015, about 100 years before the time of the U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701 and ending ten years later with the birth of the United Federation of Planets, I think the show had a lot of promise and so I’ve never understood exactly why Enterprise never took off. I’ve been rewatching it courtesy of Amazon Prime, and, yes, Bakula did exhibit some stiffness as Captain Archer in the first year, but certainly no less than Patrick Stewart did in the first season of Next Generation or Avery Brooks in Deep Space Nine.

As for the rest of the cast – Jolene Blalock as the Vulcan observer and science officer Sub-Commander T’Pol, Connor Trineer as Chief Engineer Charles “Trip” Tucker III, Lieutenant Commander Hoshi Sato at Communications, Dominic Keating as tactical and security officer Lieutenant Malcolm Reed, Anthony Montgomery as helmsman Ensign Travis Mayweather, and John Billingsley as the Denobulan Doctor Phlox – im-not-so-ho, from the first they all seemed to have a more complete handle on their characters than, again, any of the regular cast members Next Gen. And certainly better than most of Voyager’s crew (with the exception of Kate Mulgrew, Robert Duncan McNeill and Tim Russ) or Deep Space Nine’s regulars (with the exception of Colm Meany, who had the advantage of reprising the Miles O’Brien character, who originated on Next Gen.)

So what happened?

Well, first off, and again im-not-so-ho, Rick Berman and Brannon Braga made some big mistakes. The first in not using Alexander Courage’s opening riff and the introductory words:

“Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.”

C’mon, are you fucking kidding me? This is a show about the beginning of humanity’s journey into deep space, about the beginning and founding of the United Federation of Planets, and you don’t use these words? Words hallowed in every fan’s heart and soul, and, I bet, quite a number of people who wouldn’t actually claim to be Trekkers but who have been inspired by that phrase. I understand not using them in Voyager and Deep Space Nine, those shows’s premises were not, ostensibly, about discovering “what’s out there.” But Enterprise? Its premise is in the very name of the show!

Rather than incorporating Courage’s music into the new show’s theme, Berman and Braga chose some to ignore it completely, instead choosing to use Diane Warren’s “Faith of the Heart” which was the original theme to the movie “Patch Adams.” Now perhaps if the orchestration had been different, without the Rod Stewart-ish (and I like Rod Stewart – and, btw, Stewart did sing the song on the soundtrack to “Patch Adams”) vocalization from Russell Watson, and if it hadn’t sounded like something played on a soft-rock radio station, and if they had incorporated Courage’s opening riff into it, it might have worked… but I doubt it. The show needed something not only inspiring, something that tempted you to look up at the stars, to dream of the day we would push beyond our solar system into that final frontier. But with that song? Change the channel… please! (I’ll give you a foot massage if you do it.)

And what was with not naming the show Star Trek: Enterprise? Yeah, yeah, I know, they did add “Star Trek” to the title in the third season, but will someone please tell me why they avoided it in the first place? What did you say, Mr. Berman?

 “Well, you know, if you think about it, since The Next Generation, we’ve had so many Star Trek entities that were called “Star Trek”-colon-something […] Our feeling was, in trying to make this show dramatically different, which we are trying to do, that it might be fun not to have a divided main title like that. And I think that if there’s any one word that says Star Trek without actually saying Star Trek, it’s the word ‘Enterprise’.”
Yeah, well, if you ask me, no matter what he or Mr. Braga might say, I think it’s all bullshit. I think they both just wanted to separate themselves from the ghost – or the floating ashes in orbit around Earth – of Gene Roddenberry. Y’ know… an ego thing.

Btw, I’m neither criticizing nor defending Mr. Roddenberry. His is the mind from which ultimately Star Trek was born. It was his baby, and he did what he needed to do to get the show on the air. But from what I’ve read and from what I’ve been told by some in the know, he was not exactly the “Great Bird of the Galaxy” – except maybe in his own mind. According to Marc Cushman (author of the massive trilogy “These Are The Voyages: TOS – Season One, Two and Three), the real hero of Star Trek was Gene L. Coon, the “forgotten Gene,” who invented the Prime Directive, the Klingons, the development of the personal dynamics between the Kirk, Spock, and McCoy (especially Spock and McCoy), and so much more of the ST mythos we know and love.

So, anyway, why did Enterprise fail?

I think a lot of people, including fans, I’m sorry to say, never really gave it a chance.

Not very Star Trek of them, was it?

 

REVIEW: The Newsroom The Complete Third Season

the-newsroom-season-3Aaron Sorkin is an exceptionally talent writer who brings a playwright’s sensibilities to television which means his characters talk. A lot. But unlike so many prime time series, his characters actually have something to say. It’s a shame more people don’t want to hear whatever it is being discussed because Sorkin series tend not to last very long.

There were two seasons of Sports Night, four Sorkin-produced episodes of The West Wing and a single uneven season of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. For his self-proclaimed final act in television, Sorkin gave us three ever-shortened seasons of The Newsroom. This last ran on HBO and other than using a handful of words, could have easily aired on the major networks. After all, Sorkin didn’t pander with nudity or excessive violence.

The series’ conceit was that we were watching the fall and rise of network anchor Will McAvoy (Jeff Daniels), the face and voice of Atlantic Cable Network, all all-news cable channel. As we watch him and the production staff find their mojo, Sorkin chose to set the show in the recent past and see how these high-minded journalists would have covered current events. The first season was the run-up to the 2012 election while season two covered election night and how a story blew up in their faces.

da167b80-2d66-0132-4006-0ebc4eccb42fSeason three, a mere six episodes in length, comes out in a two-disc DVD set on Tuesday from HBO Home Entertainment. The focus this time falls on the Boston Marathon bombing along with the network’s sale and struggles to maintain its integrity while boosting ratings for revenue. With just six hours to play with, Sorkin never let up and moved things along at a fast clip, minimizing the number of sub-plots which meant the supporting cast had less to do. In the penultimate episode, though, there is a strong sub-plot about a college rape story that caused some criticism from the pundits but the series gets credit for even exploring the subject, when few other shows have touched on it.

Daniels, Emily Mortimer, and Sam Waterston get to carry the load this time around and do so with energy and pathos. Everyone else, from Olivia Munn to Alison Pill, have their moment or two and it’s nice to see them in action. If anyone is given less to do it’s Dev Patel, whose Neal has to disappear to avoid testifying where he got leaked information that points to the Eric Snowden case.

newsroom-final-seasonEven though it’s set in the past, it’s the very recent past so the issues of the day remain largely the same and there’s a wonderful thread about the impact social networking has had on news coverage, especially without proper vetting of sources and details. Sorkin, at his weakest, still tackles topics few other series go near and gets people on the show and then in the audience discussing the issue. He is clearly liberal in his biases but allows his characters to explore all sides of an issue. Too few prime time shows on any distribution channel truly take on the topics of the day and give their characters strong opinions in favor or escapism or “ripped from the headlines” gloss. As a result, as The Newsroom fades from memory so does the impetus for further intelligent debate thanks to characters we’re invested in.

Sorkin has come to end his series with an episode entitled “What Kind of Day has it Been” and here he brings things full circle as the death of beloved producer Charlie Skinner has everyone reflecting at the events that brought everyone together in the very first episode, when McAvoy was at his lowest ebb and needed help. While McAvoy and crew have come a long way, the series rarely let its viewers down and remained a sharp commentary on politics, media ethics, and human relationships.

The standard definition transfers are fine and makes for good watching. The sextet of episodes is accompanied by the Sorkin commentary that aired after each show. Additionally, there’s some interesting commentary from Sorkin and executive producer Alan Poul for the finale.

HBO gets kudos for airing the series at all and rewatching this reminds me how much Sorkin’s weekly presence will be missed.

Ed Catto: Life’s a Beach – Summer Reading

bravo-rucka-8100120We’ve all got too much on our plate. On top of that, pop culture enthusiasts like us are enjoying a surfeit of geekiness. Some would argue that there are too many excellent comics, movies and TV shows available today. We all have to pick and choose. My co-worker, Kris Longo, the entrepreneurial wizard who runs Geek Riot Media, has been heard to say “I’m not taking on any new series” now and again. He has a maturity (that I lack) to be able to limit his fictional intake at any given time. And who can blame him?

But despite all this, I think the summer is the perfect time to dive into in a new beach book. No matter how busy you are, how many problems you have or how overdue that oil change is, there’s something magical about getting lost in a summer beach book. And it’s especially magical when the sun is beating down on your SPF-soaked skin and your feet are wriggling in the sand.

Trigger Warning GaimanAs this column focuses on the influence and impact of geek culture upon the world at large, let’s explore how a few brilliant comic creators are providing what could be this season’s best beach book. These writers, who all make great contributions to comics, have new books out that would be ideal to pack in your beach bag, right next to the sunglasses.

First up: Greg Rucka. He’s been creating fantastic comics for numerous publishers including DC (Batman, Wonder Woman), Marvel (Black Widow, Daredevil), Oni (Stumptown, Queen and Country) and now Image (Lazarus). His latest novel, Bravo, is a military adventure that follows ex-Special Forces operative Jad Bell and a fascinating new character, Petra Nessuno. She’s just been brought “in from the cold” after a prolonged undercover assignment. This is the second book in this series, and even though I didn’t read the first one, Rucka quickly got me up to speed and I felt as if I didn’t miss a beat. It’s a hard driving adventure, but Rucka flexes his writer’s chops with effortless ease, tossing out lovely phrases when you least expect them. It moves briskly and is a tough one to set down. Bravo is available July 22nd from Mulholland Books.

Strip for Murder CollinsAt this point, Neil Gaiman is probably less a comics writer and more a prose author, but I wanted an excuse to read his latest. Trigger Warning is a collection of short stories, and although I usually read novels and business books, I try to slip in short story collections once in a while. For me, reading a few short stories provides a feeling of accomplishment. I often don’t even finish the entire collection. But with this one you might, as it’s packed with geek favorites, including a Sherlock Holmes adventure, a Doctor Who story and tale that revisits characters form Gaiman’s own American Gods. So many of these stories, like the Man Who Forgot Ray Bradbury or the one about an uninventor, seduce you with a clever premise and leave you wanting more once you’ve finished. Although HarperCollins’ William Morrow imprint released this in February, it’s still a fantastic candidate for the shore.

Ms. Tree, Wild Dog. Road to Perdition and a few of the coolest Batman stories of the 80s were all gifts from the talented Max Allan Collins. If you haven’t read his books yet, it’s time to treat yourself. He’s had a long career creating his own characters, (Nate Heller, Quarry), building the legend of real heroes (Elliot Ness) and partnering with his own hero (Mickey Spillane) to bring fans new Mike Hammer mysteries. But his latest book, Strip For Murder, is a 1950s mystery that takes the reader through the world of comic strips. And to make things even cooler, Terry Beatty, his longtime collaborator on Ms. Tree, provides the moody illustrations. Now, a little bird told me that my wonderful kids might have purchased this as a Father’s Day gift, so I haven’t read it yet. But given my track record of enjoying Max Allan Collins stories, I know this is going be great and have no qualms about recommending it to you.

Silent City SeguraYou might know Alex Segura for his impressive work publicizing Archie Comics and DC comics, or as the guiding force of the current Dark Circle imprint at Archie, but he’s also an author and musician. His Silent City, a modern day noir thriller, is a well-written mystery. Segura uses this novel to set up his Miami-based detective character, but has also infused the narrative with a soundtrack based on his own favorite tunes. Codorus released Silent City in late 2013, so it’s now also available in paperback – just waiting for you to enjoy it this summer and get some sand between the pages.

See you at the shore!

 

John Ostrander: Face To Face

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Stranger Than Fiction, a 2006 film from director Marc Forster (Finding Neverland, Monster’s Ball, and World War Z, among others), is a favorite of Mary’s and mine. It that starred Will Farrell in a very atypical Will Farrell role, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Dustin Hoffman, Queen Latifah, and Emma Thompson.

The story concerns an IRS auditor named Harold Crick who starts to hear a narrator in his head. The voice turns out to be a world famous author who is writing a story about an IRS auditor named Harold Crick. The author, Karen Eiffel, always kills off her main character at the end of the book. The real Harold’s only hope to survive is to find the reclusive author and convince her not to kill him. Eventually, they meet.

Karen Eiffel, understandably, is freaked to encounter an actual Harold Crick. He’s just as she pictured him. They both know that if she kills him off in prose, he will die in reality. She is confronted with the reality of what she does; Harold Crick isn’t just a creature of her imagination. He’s a flesh and blood person.

As a writer, I find that notion unnerving.

I had the opportunity a few weeks ago to have a somewhat similar experience. At the Motor City Con I got a chance to meet the actor, Michael Rowe, who was playing Floyd Lawton – Deadshot – on the TV series Arrow. And, yes, a bit of Stranger Than Fiction ran through my head. Of course, Mike Rowe is not Deadshot; he was perfectly nice and friendly and complimentary. However, I had a few nanoseconds of feeling, well, anxious.

When it comes right down to it, I don’t think I would want to meet most of my characters face to face. Why? Because I’m the guy who makes their lives miserable. I can see most of them wanting to take a swing at me – or worse. For them, I am the Creator. I incarnate their lives and their adventures. I’m god. Not the god but a god (as spake Bill Murray in Groundhog’s Day).

Have you ever had a day when you really just wanted to haul off and hit your Creator? I know I have and I’m an agnostic. When my late wife Kim was dying, I was sitting in the car at one point, hitting the steering wheel and cussing out God. I thought we had a deal; I would accept her death and she would die without pain. That day she was in excruciating pain.

I talked it over with my pastor, The Rev Phillip Wilson, and he thought my cussing out God was a good thing. He said that the Bible had lots of instances where the human argued or yelled at God. Towards the end of the story of Job, the title character learns that all his troubles stem from a bet between God and Satan and lets loose on Yahweh for destroying his life. Job was justified if you ask me.

God’s answer? Essentially, God skirts the issue and demands, “Hey, where were you when I created everything?” He tells Job that he’d better button it. Not a real answer but I can see why Job didn’t press the issue. This is Yahweh after all who drowned the earth in a fit of pique.

So why do I do it? Why do I make my characters’ lives so miserable?

It’s for the sake of the story.

When we were first married, Kim used to ask me how would I react in such and such a situation. How would I feel?  (I could get myself into trouble by suggesting that this is the sort of speculative question some women like to ask their men. I don’t want to get in trouble by saying that, although I admit to thinking it.) I would always answer “I dunno. Ask me when we get there.”

I felt and feel that’s a fair answer. We don’t know how we would react in a given situation or facing this or that pressure. We only know how we’d like to think we would act but until you’re in that moment, you don’t know. You can’t until you’re actually faced with the situation.

How we react in those situations reveal who we really are – not who we think we are or hope we would be. In a story, it reveals character. The tougher the situation, the clearer we see who the character really is. It’s one of the rules about character. It’s not what they say, it’s what they do that really matters – just like in life.

By putting my characters through the wringer, I reveal who they are and the reader, by vicarious experience, may learn something more of who they are. That makes the whole exercise worthwhile. That can make the story compelling and memorable.

So what I do to my characters is not out of sadism (well, not only out of sadism) but for the sake of the story.

However, I still wouldn’t want to meet GrimJack or most of my other characters in a darkened alley in the middle of the night.

Brrrr.

 

Marc Alan Fishman: Three Thoughts Laying Around

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Sorry, kiddos. I ain’t got no snark to hone into laser focus this week. With a day job literally sapping my inner strength as we prepare a massive brand overhaul alongside our massive summer conference, all I have the energy to do when I make my way home is the bare minimum. Which of course amounts to drawing pages for the upcoming new Samurnauts book, planning a major crowdfunding campaign around said book, organizing video shoots and marketing lists for said campaign, completing sundry freelance gigs for way less money than I ought to be collecting, and of course… writing for you, my adoring public. So, as is the custom when my well seems to be tapped of a singular topic, I present to you a smattering of my simmering speculations from my cerebellum.

Hey, I may be running close to empty, but I’ll be damned if I don’t have spectacular alliterative powers. Natch.

  1. Jon Bernthal is Frank Castle.

As per my choked Facebook feed this afternoon, I learned that Shane from the Walking Dead is now the mafia murdering mook of the Marvel U. As with all of my brethren online, I was happy to see such inspired casting. Now I’m not a big Walking Dead fan by any means, but I’ve certainly caught enough of Bernthal’s work to know he’s got the chops. Combine this with his partially busted (but still Hollywood pretty) nose and you get a Punisher who will have no problem crossing the invisible line from page to screen. Sorry, Thomas Jane and Ray Stevenson.

What I like the most from the announcement is that the part is hardly bit. From what most are saying, it seems like Marvel read everyone’s online yammering about how the Netflix ‘Devil series presented grit that was pitch perfect. And what better follow up to said grit then the House of Ideas most gritty character, save perhaps for Squirrel Girl, whose grit know no bounds. Suffice to say given the universe they built around Matt Murdoch, Frank Castle will fit right in. Even better: the obvious morality play that might present itself between the costumed compatriots. Whilst Daredevil has shown his willingness to kill, The Punisher is… The Punisher. The fact that it might lead to a showdown with earned angst versus the forthcoming Superman and Batman love-in? Yeah, eat two bullets, and call me in the morning, DC!

  1. Stone Cold Steve Austin Still Has ‘It’.

The other evening with nothing sitting in my DVR, I turned on the WWE Network (which I pay for mostly to allow my father to have something to do when he’s home in the mornings). They featured an hour-long sit-down podcast via Steve Austin and his guest Paul Heyman. While I could have easily spent my entire column lecturing you on how amazing Mr. Heyman is, I’ll leave it short, so the comics fans don’t click away too soon.

After 55 minutes of fluffy storytelling and jovial revelry between host and guest, Paul Heyman asked if he could ask a hard-hitting question – knowing that the last hour was essentially enjoyable nothingness. Mr. Austin obliged. “Why don’t you come back for just one night? Settle the unfinished business you have with my client?” Heyman asked. For the Internet Wrestling Community, this was more than a bon mot. This was poking a bear that has been long hibernating. I found myself on the edge of my chair as Steve Austin morphed into Stone Cold to respond to the potential challenge of Brock Lesnar.

His response was metered. His gaze became like steel. And the string of near-obscenities that dropped from his maw made me remember why he’s one of the three heads on the Mount Rushmore of Pro-Wrestling. In a two-minute response, which would best be described as a shoot promo, Steve Austin played me and a million or so others for the kayfabing fool I am. It was an amazing piece of work.

  1. Evil Batman is Evil.

The uncompromisingly talented Bruce Timm has a new animated direct-to-whatever-media-is-ubiquitous-these-days feature. It’s Justice League: Gods and Monsters and boy, did it get dark in here all of a sudden. Based on no previous work per se, this Elseworlds tale showcases a world where Batman is a vampire, Superman is an unhappy Latino Demi-God, and Wonder Woman is… combative, I guess? While most if not all of DC’s recent animated releases have done little to spur my attention, seeing Timm’s name on the project – along with his patented visual style – certainly caught my eye. With that being said, both the trailer and teaser clips released thus far have not engaged my engrossment to the point of desiring purchase.

Simply put, Timm is a master craftsman making something that looks good but hardly great. With beats (again, based solely on the released trailer and teasers) that come awfully close to similar ones tackled during his decade of animated supremacy prior, I’m left cold by the possibility that without the confines of network notes a darker and grittier Justice League is anything to be excited about. Justice Lords anyone? But, let’s not split hairs; Bruce Timm making a good feature is great for the industry. More ideas – especially original ones – will help spark continued creativity elsewhere. Let us just hope that Gods and Monsters delivers more than what meets the eye.

  1. Bonus recipe time!

Combine 1 thoroughly mashed banana with 2 large eggs and a dash of cinnamon. Fry up in pan. Enjoy your very own banana-fanna-faux-cake. You’re welcome.

Happy Saturday everyone!

 

The Point Radio: DARK MATTER Explodes Tonight

The new SyFy (and former Dark Horse) project, DARK MATTER premieres tonight on SyFy, and we begin our coverage with actor Roger Cross who tells us why this might be his biggest genre roll yet. DARK MATTER premiere tonight on SyFy, Then Dania Ramirez from HEROES and X-MEN LAST STAND takes us into the third season of Lifetime’s DEVIOUS MAIDS plus her new indy film project.

 We’re back in a couple of days with more on DARK MATTER.

Michael Davis: You

maxresdefault copy1You are an actress. You’re an actor. You’re a singer, a dancer, model, novelist, journalist cartoonist, illustrator, photographer, or designer.

You are an artist.

You’re not just any run in the mill artist. You are a badass mofo, the absolute real deal. You’re a phenomenal talent and everyone knows it. Your family and friends, producers and editors, creative and stage directors, publishers and choreographers, marvel at your talent.

You know it’s going to be a hard climb. It’s hard to make it as an artist, any kind of artist. That’s not really a concern because you have the goods. Your Academy Award is assured. Amazon won’t be able to keep up with orders on your first novel. Your single will break iTunes.

Your peers are jealous. They talk about you, spread rumors, and take any opportunity to dismiss your genius. Some who’ve been in the game longer than you, offer council. Before you know it, your circle is full of like-minded people who have your best interest at heart.

It’s certainly hard to get your foot in the door, but you do it. Before you know it, you score an assignment from Marvel. It’s just a fill-in, but its real. It’s all down hill from there. The first day of shooting you have a little run in with the director. No biggie, he needed to understand your point of view and now he does.

It’s obvious the massive amount of notes given were guidelines, not direction. They sought you out for your voice and this is your novel after all.

What is the problem with your boyfriend? He knows the head of Sony. What’s the big deal? Why can’t he simply introduce you? You’re what they are so looking for. Is your girlfriend crazy? She thinks a mention and a plug of your latest article by a well-known editor is a good thing. You know that “mention” and “plug” is all bullshit an attempt to screw you over.

Man, are you tired of people not listening to you when it’s obvious you know what you are talking about. You didn’t need to meet any music producer the day you encountered a nice looking guy who brought you drinks and said he was a movie director.

Your boyfriend can hook that music producer meeting up any day.

So what if it’s the second time you’ve done that. He’ll get over it. You didn’t flake nor did you lie, you simply changed your mind.

Man, is that bitch crazy or what? You can certainly do a boys weekend in Vegas and meet your deadline Tuesday. It’s a 22-page story you have three, almost three pages done and all day and night Monday to do it.

She’s always bitching.

It doesn’t matter if your friend gets a movie; it has nothing to do with you.

Oh, yes it does. You’re much more talented than she is.

You don’t ask a powerful publicist to pitch you especially if she doesn’t represent you.

She reps your girlfriend and it will only take her two seconds. What’s the big deal?

Seeking funding for your production? There’s a procedure you have to follow.

Why? Why can’t they just give you the money?

Just because something’s done a certain way doesn’t mean it can’t be done another way. Don’t you dare listen to him when he say’s you’re not ready for primetime.

You have all the talent in the world, you really do. He’s an idiot when he said that talent, without professionalism, doesn’t mean shit in this business.

He’s full of himself, and his ‘everybody’ example was just ignorant.

Everybody was the best actor, writer, or singer back at Whatever Happened To High School. In entertainment, you need people around that will tell you the truth, not hangers-on who have not done a thing for your career but keep promising they will. “They won’t and you know why? They can’t. They can’t do a motherfucking thing; they have no connections, no power, and no scruples. Posers all.

Just because someone is super-successful and gets paid handsomely for advice they give you for free, does not mean you have to listen.

You keep doing things the way you do things. Don’t listen to anyone’s advice You know better. You are better.

You’re a star and one day all your years and years of shortcuts will pay off!

 

The Law Is A Ass

Bob Ingersoll: The Law Is A Ass #360: SPIDER-WOMAN’S ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT

I’ll bet Matt Murdock wishes he hadn’t screwed up and gotten disbarred in New York. Because now’s when he could cash in.

It’s all because of what happened in Spider-Woman v5 #5, when Jessica Drew heard a woman screaming for help. She changed into her Spider-Woman costume and answered the call. She found a woman fleeing down an alley being chased by a huge, hulking costumed villain of some sort. Just as the bad guy was about to grab the woman, Spider-Woman leapt into action. Literally.

Spider-Woman-5-spoilers-preview-8 copyAnd, no, I didn’t say literally, when I meant figuratively. Spider-Woman leapt off a rooftop and dropped down between the attacker and the woman. She kicked the bad guy away from the woman and followed up by delivering one of her bio-electric venom blasts to his chest. After this, she flipped the attacker with a judo throw and threw him into a wall. Physical but efficient. After all, this wasn’t the story’s main obligatory fight scene, it was just the set-up.

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When Jessica went to secure the baddie to a lamp post and call the police, she didn’t have to call the police. The assailant wasn’t a super villain. It was a police officer dressed up as a super villain. And the alley was already full of other police officers. Why even the damsel in distress was a police officer, pretending to be a scream queen. Who says there’s never a cop around when you need one?

Turns out Spider-Woman interrupted a how-to-fight-super-villains training exercise the NYPD was conducting. (And now we know why they say there’s never a cop around when you need one; they’re all in some rain-soaked alley somewhere taking down pretend super villains.)

Cut to the next day: Jessica Drew was in a holding cell in a NYPD precinct, where she’d been for twelve hours after being arrested for assaulting a police officer. She was playing Charades with the other women in her cell when Ben Urich, reporter for the Daily Bugle who learned of Jessica’s arrest on the Internet, got her released. Wasn’t too hard, Ben didn’t even have to post bail. Turns out NYPD didn’t even book Jessica.

Ben explained that the police “knew none of their charges would stick to Spider-Woman. They arrested her and kept her in general lockup all night so that they could post pictures of the super hero under arrest on the Internet and humiliate Jessica. “Sad fact of life: Cops don’t like super heroes as much as super heroes like to think.”

Here’s another sad fact of life: Stupidity like these cops engaged in is costly; to careers and to pocketbooks. As I said earlier, New York disbarred Matt Murdock, so he can’t handle the case. Too bad, too, as this case is a slam dunk. What case? Why Jessica’s lawsuit against New York City for wrongful arrest.

Wrongful arrest? How can it be wrongful arrest, Jessica kicked a police officer. Then she hit him with a venom blast and, finally, judo threw him into a wall. Any one of these would constitute assaulting a police officer by itself. All three of them is multiple counts of assault of a police officer; redundant and proof that super heroing, like comedy, subscribes to the rule of three.

Problem is, they don’t. Not one of the three acts of physical violence actually constituted assault of a police officer. Not kicking him. Not venom blasting him. Not judo throwing him.

There’s a New York statute which defines the crime of assault of a police officer. It’s New York Penal Law § 120.08. No, I didn’t know this off the top of my head. I can’t know all of the criminal statutes of the states, cities, and municipalities in this country. There’s a googolplex of them. So, I Googled it.

NY Penal L § 120.80 says someone commits the crime assault of a police officer when, “with intent to prevent a … police officer … from performing a lawful duty, he causes serious physical injury to such … police officer…”

Ordinarily, this might raise the question: Did Jessica cause serious physical injury to the police officer? In this case, it doesn’t. It doesn’t matter how seriously the police officer was harmed; although it didn’t appear he was hurt too bad. The fact is, Jessica could have ripped off one of his legs and she still wouldn’t have committed assault on a police officer.

Look at the elements of the crime again. Study them. There’ll be a test later.

Okay, it’s later. (Hey, I never said how much later.) So, here’s the test.

“Jessica Drew didn’t commit assault on a police officer. Explain.”

Right. The statute requires that she must cause the injury “with intent to prevent a police officer from performing a lawful duty.” Jessica didn’t intend to prevent any police officer from doing anything. She honestly and reasonably believed a hulking somebody was attacking a woman in an alley. Her intent was to stop a crime, not to interfere with a police officer.

Remember, Ben Urich told Jessica – and, thus, told us – that the police knew the charges wouldn’t stick. How did they know? They knew because they knew Jessica reasonably believed she was preventing an attack, not interfering with a police officer.

However, that means that the police arrested Jessica knowing full well that she didn’t commit any crime so they didn’t have probable cause to arrest her. They arrested her for the express purpose of posting pictures of her arrest on the Internet and embarrassing her. That’s what’s sometimes called a bad faith arrest. Not to be confused with pinching Buffy’s slayer friend for theft. That’s a Faith’s bad arrest.

When the police made a bad faith arrest without probable cause just so they could embarrass Jessica, they broke the law themselves. It’s NY Penal L § 195, official misconduct. It happens when a public servant, such as a police officer, knowingly commits an unauthorized act relating to his office with the intent to deprive a person of a benefit. Falsely arresting a person so as to embarrass her, would deprive that person of the benefit of her right to liberty under the Fourteenth Amendment. And by these actions, the police committed a crime, they also opened the city of New York up to a false arrest lawsuit.

Earlier this year, a law student in Brooklyn was parked in a bus stop. Two police officers chased him out of the spot, not because he was parked illegally but because they wanted to park there themselves so that they could go to a nearby food truck. When the student confronted the cops about their abuse of power, they cited the student with two counts of disorderly conduct. The student sued New York City for false arrest and reached an out-of-court settlement that netted him some money. And netted his attorney even more money in legal fees.

If that law student could successfully sue the city because the police cited him to make him stop busting their chops about their parking in a bus stop, imagine what a bona fide super heroine and former member of the Avengers could do with the police illegally arresting her for the specific purpose of embarrassing her. Hell there’s probably even be a federal civil rights lawsuit under 42 U.S.C. § 1983 lurking around in there somewhere.

And if the law student’s lawyer got an even bigger award in legal fees than the student won, there’s money to be had for some lawyer. Matt Murdock can’t take the case. Maybe Jennifer Walters will take Jessica’s case. And if Jen’s too busy being She-Hulk, I might consider getting my law license reinstated – I let it it go inactive after I retired from the public defender office – so I could have a crack at it.

On second thought, no. Jessica is a fictional character and her case a fictional case. So any damage awards or attorney fees would also be fictional. While the joys of being retired from the practice of law are all too real.

Review: Pride and Prejudice, the Graphic Novel

pride-prejudice-7106543Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice by Ian Edginton and Robert Deas. Self Made Hero, 144 pages. $19.95 retail hardcopy; also available in electronic editions.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that I’m a huge Jane Austen fangirl. I make no apologies. I made my husband take me to the Jane Austen museum in Bath for my 40th birthday. I own every version of every Jane Austen movie made – retellings too. As a matter of facet, I collect adaptations in every form from the sublime (The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, Bridget Jones, Clueless) to the abusively bad (Rude Awakenings of a Jane Austen Addict is currently in my car’s CD player right now, but I’m powering through because I am not a quitter.) I’ve read Pride and Prejudice annually since I was 19 – and it’s not even my favorite Austen novel (that would be Persuasion, which I also read once a year as well as listen to the ITV Classics podcast version before bed more than that).

Yeah, I’m kind of obsessed with wit and social politics in my period-costumed love stories. Though for some reason, I never thought of reading a comic version of one of Austen’s books. I guess I never imagined a need for one.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not as if I think Regency-period chick lit is too good for the graphic novel form. I’m a fan of the No Fear Shakespeare series, and don’t tell any of my professors, but I much preferred Marvel’s The Iliad and The Odyssey to studying the actual Homer texts. But while Jane Austen obviously proves to be ripe for pop culture appropriation, I just never figured her characters transferring well into panels. But Self Made Hero made graphic novel version of Pride and Prejudice, so I had to try.

The graphic novel version certainly gets points for the plot, but, of course, that’s residual credit for Miss Austen’s storytelling ability. Break it down as sophisticated (the plight of privileged single women, the importance of good parenting, and romance triumphing in spite of polite society) or base (girl thinks rich dude’s a pompous jerk, until she sees his really big house and he saves her ungrateful slut sister) it’s a compelling story that you have to finish once you start. So, in reviewing this I needed to try to take the Austen out of it.

It does stands up panel to panel and writer Ian Edginton (Star Wars, Star Trek, Alien, Scarlet Traces: The Great Game) did a fair enough job of truncating the story, but it was choppy. It follows our heroine, Elizabeth, and somewhat tracks her sister Jane, but some important story beats are cut. It’s debatable whether the omissions would cause confusion to a first time reader, but what I do know is that it does strip the original story of its flow. I had to ask myself on every page if I was only enjoying it because of my familiarity of the characters and the story. Seriously, how do you review a property you know so intimately and still be fair?

But, the thing is, this cannot have been made for fans of Jane Austen. In what would have been a really cool Dramatis Personae page Mary Bennet was labeled as the fourth oldest sister, when of course it’s Kitty who holds that spot. Drab Mary is clearly the third oldest. Duh. This sin, so early in the game, left me skeptical and I just couldn’t get past it – and trust me, I know I’m not alone.

This is a version for those who just don’t want to read a whole novel, but would like to understand their girlfriend’s Darcy references, or cover their bases for pub quiz night. I bet with the help of Wikipedia and maybe Thug Notes you could totally pull off passing an AP Exam question about Pride and Prejudice from reading this graphic novel.

That being said – I’m totally passing my copy onto my husband because he’s yet to read the real novel and he might like this. So, yes, I totally believe it has an audience. But, as I said, it’s not for the typical JA fan. Because, let’s face it, we live in age with some really hot Darcys (Colin Firth, for example) and no girl is going to get that same weak in the knees feeling for this cartoon Mr. Darcy. He’s stone-faced without the benefit of good eye acting (looking toward Firth on this note as well).

But don’t assume I’m not a fan of Robert Dreas’ (Troy Trailblazer) art work. The characters all seem a little angry, but I like the style. He nails Mrs. Bennet. She was my favorite character to study, while I find I gloss over her in the novel (because she’s hella annoying). I also found the realistic nature scenes fun. Yes, fun. I don’t think they added anything, but then again I don’t turn to graphic novels to set a scene I already have firmly planted in my head. I know what Pemberly looks like because I’ve already imagined it 24 times before and it looks just like the movies.

With this realization, I figured out why I love graphic novels and love Pride and Prejudice, but couldn’t love this graphic novel version of Pride and Prejudice. I turn to comics and graphic novels to take me to a specific world found in the words and pictures. I rely on the art and the story to unfold together to show me the author and artist’s combined vision. I don’t have to do anything, but enjoy the story as it unfolds. Having already seen a better version of this story, I can’t really care about the vision unfolding. I’ve had better previous visions, thanks.

Plus, Kitty Bennet is the fourth oldest sister, dammit!

 

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