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Day Six of Pro Se’s Adventures of Nicholas Saint Now Available!

Pro Se Productions releases the sixth part of THE ADVENTURES OF NICHOLAS SAINT, its ongoing serialized novella, for your reading pleasure!
As Jack fights on in Ohio, step back a few hours and follow Nicholas Saint as he makes his way to Caruthersville…and recalls just why this little Ohio burg is the town that hates Christmas!

 

http://pulpmachine.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-adventures-of-nicholas-saint-part.html 

PART FIVE OF THE ADVENTURES OF NICHOLAS SAINT NOW LIVE FROM PRO SE!

The Fifth Installment of the ongoing serialization of Tommy Hancock’s THE ADVENTURES OF NICHOLAS SAINT is now live at www.pulpmachine.blogspot.com!
Jack Frost finds himself confronted with a town full of people out for his blood and faces the fact that all he may be able to do is ‘Run, Jack, Run!’
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Logo by Perry Constantine

THE MASKED RIDER RIDES AGAIN!

Coming Soon!

Altus Press’ Matt Moring shared a pre-Christmas announcement!

Press Release:

The Masked Rider Archives Volume 1
By Oscar Schisgall and William H. Stueber
Introduction by Will Murray

Collected for the first time: the original Masked Rider series! Originally published by Ranger Publications, Altus Press has committed to collecting all the rare and illusive Masked Rider yarns from these early years prior to its acquisition by Standard Publications. Each volume will include new articles and information about the series as well as the history of Ranger Publications, one of the earliest companies run by Marvel Comics founder Martin Goodman.

Volume 1 contains the first three stories, uncut, in order, and accompanied by the original illustrations: “The Black Caballero” by Oscar Schisgall along with “The Avenging Shadow” and “Sapphire Mesa,” both by William H. Stueber.

Available soon!

Learn more at www.altuspress.com.

DAVE FLORA COVERS THE BLACK MONK!

Cover Art: Dave Flora
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Art: Dave Flora

New Pulp Artist Dave Flora has designed the cover for the upcoming Valancourt Books release of The Black Monk by noted 19th century author James Malcolm Rymer.

Read the artist’s thoughts on the creation of the cover at http://daveflora.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-black-monk.html?spref=fb

Dave Flora also mentioned that there will be more Ghost Zero stories coming soon.

A Doctor A Day – “Love and Monsters”

Using the new Doctor Who Limited Edition Gift Set, your noble author will make his way through as much of the modern series as he can before the Christmas episode,The Snowmen.

If Lars von Trier had thought of it, it would have been one of the Five Obstructions.  Make a Doctor Who episode, but don’t use The Doctor. It rather limits the drama, doesn’t it?  far from it, it gives you a chance to do a story about friends and mystery, and…

LOVE AND MONSTERS
by Russell T Davies
Directed by Dan Zeff
tumblr_l3nox1omkr1qa7yfto1_500-3198485Elton Pope (Not that Elton, and not that Pope) is relating his adventures on his video blog.  He’s just met The Doctor, who was fighting an alien in a disused industrial building…as he does.  Elton begins to relate his history a bit – he remembers seeing The Doctor in his kitchen back with he was a toddler, as well.  He grew up rather normal and has a pleasant life, until a couple years ago when London started getting regularly attacked by aliens.  The Autons, the Slitheen, the Sycorax, all seen through his eyes.  He begins to search about the Internet, and finds a blog by a young woman named Ursula Blake, with recent photos of The Doctor, who looks no different than when he appears in Elton’s kitchen decades ago.

Ursula introduces Elton to a group of her friends, fellow Doctor-sighters and searchers, who meet regularly in the local library.  They all share the tidbits they’ve discovered about him throughout history.  After meeting for some time, Ursula suggests the club needs a name. Elton suggests “LInDA” – The London Investigation ‘n’ Detective Agency.  LInDA slowly become more of a social club than a tin-hat society, and the all become proper friends.  That is…until Mr. Victor Kennedy appeared. A strange man suffering from a skin complaint (Exceezma…like Eczema, but far worse).  He claims to have information about The Doctor, and shows them that they’ve lost their way in their investigations.  Kennedy has access to a staggering amount of information about the Doctor, including data from Torchwood. He hands out pictures of Rose Tyler, and sets LInDA off on the task to find her. And  in amongst the investigations…the members of LInDA are slowly going missing.

Friends are made, loves are lost, and a monsters stands revealed. Oh, and The Doctor shows up, eventually.

There’s been bits of humor in every episode, but this is the first episode that’s elbow-deep hilarious.  The episode was created by necessity – the BBC asked for a Christmas episode with this season, but didn’t add any time or much money to the budget.  So the producers were forced to find a way to force a fourteenth episode into the schedule, one that would have very little of The Doctor and Rose, as the actors simply wouldn’t have time to shoot another full episode.  So with a short sequence at the beginning, an appearance at the end, and photos and mentions all in between, you get a great bit of sleight of hand that feels like a full Doctor appearance.  The acting in the episode is wonderful as well, featuring British comedy star Peter Kay as the baddie, and Camille Coduri making a return as Jackie Tyler.

LInDA is a name Russell T Davies had made up for a earlier children’s show he’d written years back called “Why Don’t You?”,  The Absorbaloff was created by a child as part of a Blue Peter competition. Russell begged for one more alien for the alien, with the opening sequence, and they gave him one.  He even gave it a name – the Hoix.

John Ostrander: Sweet Jesus!

ostrander-art-121222-5008419The thing about a great story is that it can be told so many different ways. That includes the Greatest Story Ever Told and, at this festive time of year, my mind turns to the Christmas Story. I recently had a flash of (possibly divine) inspiration: how would it work as a sitcom?

Hear me out.

It would focus on a middle-aged Jewish carpenter named Joseph back in Roman times. I’m thinking Tim Allen for the part. He’s got this hot young fiancée named Mary (Megan Fox?) who is saving herself for marriage but then winds up pregnant – and not by Joseph. Well, Joseph’s all set to break off the wedding when he gets visited by the Angel Gabriel. I’m thinking Morgan Freeman or possibly Chi McBride (who was so good in being the smart butler to a daffy, horny Abraham Lincoln in “The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer” that aired for about three heartbeats back in 1998).

Not only is it God’s will that Joseph take Mary as his wife but, according to the doctrine of the Perpetual Virginity of Mary, Joseph can never have sex with her. At all. This would be a recurring gag. Joseph gets hot and horny and has to leap into a barrel of cold water to cool down. Maybe steam rises from the barrel. Trust me, this joke will never get old.

So the Romans order a census and Joseph has to go to Bethlehem, the city of David (because he’s descended from David) and get counted. Mary’s “great with child” which means she’s about to give birth at any moment. Maybe they got a late start, maybe Mary can’t move so fast or has to stop often, but by the time they get to Nazareth, everything is booked up. Lots of room for comedy there. One innkeeper (I’m thinking Richard Lewis, although Richard Karn who was in Home Improvement with Tim Allen could do it and audiences might like that) agrees to let them sleep in the barn out back.

Nowhere in any of the gospels or anything else I could find mentions a midwife. You think you would. Mary’s midwife would be a pretty important role. No mention. So – who has to do it? That’s right – Joseph. Tim Allen as Joseph. Can you see it? Alpha male having to deal with childbirth? Tons of humor to be mined there.

So while Mary is screaming and Joseph is ready to faint, Gabriel shows back up. He waves his fingers, Mary’s labor pain goes away (Gabriel claims it’s a divine epidural) and then – lo! – a great light shines ‘round about them coming from Mary’s womb. Enter Jesus.

I’m going to take a little artistic license here and suggest that he’s like the eTrade baby or the babies in the Guess Who’s Talking movies. The adults don’t react but it lets Baby Jesus comment on what’s going on. I always found young Jesus to be a little snarky, what with the “Don’t you know I’m supposed to be about my father’s business?” Jesus can play all sorts of tricks on Joseph, too, like change his wine into water.

In addition to the Innkeeper, there’s all sorts of wacky characters who can be brought in – shepherds wandering the fields at night, three Wise Men bearing gifts (maybe Joseph has to convince them that Jesus is the child they are seeking), and Mary’s Cousin Elizabeth can come for a visit (is it too much to hope for Carol Burnett? And maybe Tim Conway could play Elizabeth’s husband, Zachariah.).

I was contemplating the title. Modern Family is a popular show so I was thinking Ancient Family or Holy Family, but that doesn’t catch the flavor. I think Sweet Jesus! works. It could be pitched to the networks but HBO or Showtime might be looking for an edgy comedy. Or we could get Seth McFarlane interested and take it over to Fox. He’d animate it. Bill O’Reilly could denounce it on his show and when he cuts away for a commercial, there’s an ad for Sweet Jesus! I love it.

So, what do you think, Hollywood? I think we have a winner here. Have your people call my people. Wait. I don’t have people. Maybe Michael Davis could be my people; he’s always putting together deals. Hey, Michael – want to be my people?

And as Tiny Tim was heard to say, “God bless us everyone!”

MONDAY: Mindy Newell

RANKING THE JAMES BOND FILMS, PART 3: THE TOP 3!

So today we finish up my rankings of all 23 of the Eon Productions JAMES BOND films, with the TOP THREE overall.

We looked at numbers 23-14 here and at numbers 13-4 here.
Remember, folks–stuff like this is entirely subjective.  We’re (mostly) talking my favorites, not the “greatest” or “highest grossing” or whatever.  This represents my views.

Without further ado, then, here are my three favorite Bond films, in order:

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3. Goldfinger

Hard to argue against this one, which really does have almost everything. I had it ranked second until yesterday when I re-watched it, and found it oddly disappointing in places.  My main complaint is that, given the larger scope of this one than its predecessors, Goldfinger’s scheme is not quite up to the world-ending level of many of the others—but that’s probably just me.  The middle is sort of dull, too, while Bond plays golf and then is held prisoner in Kentucky.  But the Aston Martin goes a long way–even if he never quite gets to use it as creatively as we might have liked.  And so does Honor Blackman (and “Jill Masterson” at the start ain’t bad, either). Odd Job is iconic.  And it has probably the second or third best theme song, too–and the most iconic.  It’s a great Bond movie.

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2. From Russia with Love
A simple, straight-ahead spy movie with vivid characters and great action.  Bond’s Turkish ally, Kerim Bey, remains a favorite, and Robert Shaw as the SMERSH assassin is very cool–is he the only actor to have fought both James Bond and (the shark) Jaws?! The visuals of Istanbul and along the European rail line are gorgeous—as was the leading lady, Daniela Bianchi.  The theme song is great–and, interestingly, doesn’t appear (with lyrics) in the opening credit sequence; it’s only at the end.  The story sticks just close enough to the novel to make it a tight, taut thriller rather than an over-the-top spectacle.  And you can’t beat a catfight in a Gypsy camp.

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1. You Only Live Twice
The prototype for seemingly half the rest of the franchise, with the original “supervillain base in a volcano.” Japan in the 1960s provides a great backdrop and Tiger Tanaka is rivaled only by Kerim Bey of “From Russia with Love” as Bond’s greatest “regional ally.”  Is it over-the-top, much of the way?  Sure.  Does the plot make sense?  Not a lot of it, no.  Will many criticize me for this choice?  Probably.  But it’s my list, and this one has always been my favorite.  And it has my favorite theme song of all, to boot.  This one is my favorite.

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So there you have my entire list–all 23 Bond films from Eon, in the order I like them (or don’t like them).  

Be sure to visit www.whiterocketbooks.com to listen to our James Bond podcast episode (or find it on iTunes) and also to check out the many great books we have available.  Thanks for reading!

A Doctor A Day – “The Impossible Planet / The Satan Pit”

Using the new Doctor Who Limited Edition Gift Set, your noble author will make his way through as much of the modern series as he can before the Christmas episode,The Snowmen.

Humanity’s natural response to the order “no” is “why?”  Put up a sign marked “wet paint”, and count all the people who touch what it’s hanging on.  And if you bury the devil, it’s a poor idea to put him on…

THE IMPOSSIBLE PLANET / THE SATAN PIT by Matt Jones Directed by James Strong

The Doctor and Rose land on a space base orbiting around a black hole (this is of course impossible), filled with writing so old the TARDIS can’t translate it (this is of course impossible).  The crew of the base explain that there’s an ancient power source at the core of the planet so strong it’s not only holding the planet in place, but generating a safe path to and from the planet (this is of course impossible).  After a bit of investigation, it’s discovered that a being who claims to be The Devil (The definite article, you might say) is imprisoned at the core, and this mad geostationary contraption is its eternal prison (this is of course, even if the other stuff was possible, which it isn’t, impossible).

impossible-planet-toby-redeyes-1687243The beast cannot escape his prison, but his mind can, and successfully takes over one of the crew, as well as its stock of alien slaves, the Ood.  While The Doctor spelunks down to the cavern in the planet’s core, Rose and the crew fight the now quite violent Ood in the station.  The Doctor is left with a terrible choice – destroy the beast’s prison and doom Rose, or let her and the crew escape, along with the beast’s mind.

A very moody episode, with a well-designed set that allowed for lots of corridor runs and corner turns.  The Doctor even comments at the beginning that a lot of these bases look the same, and are made from kits. It’s got a very haunted house feel, which is basically what the classic sci-fi film Alien is, as are all tributes to it. The Doctor gets a number of very nice speeches about how amazing humans are, boldly rushing in where angels fear to tread, and wanting to do things solely because they’ve not been done yet.  It’s a recurring idea for the Doctor, interspersed occasionally with his comments about how blind and small-minded they are.  We’re clearly his favorite race, and not simply because humans are cheaper to portray in a TV show.

It’s the premiere of another new recurring alien, the Ood.  They return a few time over the course of the new series, including a much more Ood-centric story in the Donna Noble season. The Ood are played as an unintelligent hive-minded race here, a “perfect slave race” as they’re described, and there’s simply no time for the story to address that.  Rose makes a passing comment about it, but it’s quickly waved off, especially after they went all red-eyed and scary, and could be classified as a threat.  It’s not until the next Ood story do we get a real idea of their situation, and a more proper addressing of their status as slaves.

An Ood appeared in Neil Gaiman’s story The Doctor’s Wife, mainly because they didn’t have money in the budget to make a new alien.

While The Doctor had never met the devil himself before, he’s come close.  The Demoniacs, Sutekh, and other races were believed to have interacted with humanity  in the past and give it the idea of devils.  Tom Baker was supposed to have fought the devil, in the guise of Scratchman, in a film written by Baker and Ian Marter titled Doctor Who meets Scratchman.  It had a mad throw-everything-at-it plot, but never got past the talking stage.

Saturday Morning Cartoons (kinda): X-Men Stop Motion

The 1990s “X-Men” cartoon holds a special place in the hearts of many a fan, but that theme song– great the first 50 times, but if you’ve ever been at a comic convention next to a dealer that had the thing playing on a loop, you wanted to tear down their booth with your teeth after an hour.

Anyway, the team of Kyle Roberts, Nathan Pope, Zach Zellar and Colin Nance have created their own take on the famous opening. Take a look: