Tagged: Michael Davis

Striking the right notes

As the WGA strike begins its second week, ComicMix staffers and columnists applaud our fellow writers, remind readers to keep turning to United Hollywood and Deadline Hollywood Daily for the latest news, and promise to keep entertaining you as best we can!  Here’s what we’ve had for you this past week:

May the WGA get everything it wants and well deserves!

With Great Power… by Michael Davis

It’s no secret that I think that people who worship celebrity are idiots. I mean, come on; do these people really think that Britney is thinking about them? Every night on a popular entertainment news program they have something called “Britney watch.” That is just nuts to me. This show follows Britney Spears everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE! If she goes to Starbucks there are camera crews watching her sip from a cup. I’m not kidding.

Most of the people we hold up as stars are also looked up to by many as heroes. Really? With that in mind I wondered what would happen if our super heroes acted like today’s stars.

My apologies in advance to DC, Marvel, Archie and everyone else. Hey guys, satire is good for the soul!

High above the skies of Metropolis an epic battle rages. For hours Superman and the evil super villain have traded blow after terrific blow. Neither asking for quarter neither granting any. Finally Superman looks into the face of the evil super villain and shouts, “You can’t win evil, super villain!” The evil super villain produces a green rock from behind his back. He thrusts it out at Superman who withdraws in terror! “ Kryptonite!” Superman says the word as if its very mention is painful to him. The evil super villain flies closer to Superman who is struggling to remain airborne. “Now you will die!!” The evil super villain declares as Superman plummets from the sky! (more…)

An extra hour to read

Move those clocks back and use the exta time to settle in with ComicMix columns, why don’tcha!  Here’s what we’ve brought you this past week:

Now that’s an hour well spent!

Dumb Ass, by Michael Davis

DNA pioneer James Watson says blacks are genetically less smart. He told a UK newspaper whites are more intelligent. Watson, the man who along with Francis Crick won the Nobel Prize for discovering the double-helix structure of DNA, is facing a HUGE backlash after claiming that black people are genetically less intelligent than whites.

 

I don’t know what the uproar is. He’s right. Well he’s right when it comes to me. I’m sure he’s smarter than I am.

Or is he?

I’m a pretty smart guy but I doubt if I’m smarter than a Nobel Prize winning scientist.

Or am I?

Mr. Watson tells the world that black people are dumber than white people and expected kudos from the world for his insight.

That’s like me saying Hitler was a hero and expecting a parade for my words of wisdom. Some small minded sick fools may believe that, but just how stupid would they be to say it? (more…)

Worldly Serious

Out in the land of baseball humidors, the Beantown Bombers seem poised to win it all.  But here at ComicMix we like to think our columnists hit home runs every day.  Or at least we’re somewhere in the ballpark.  Here’s what we’ve served up for you this past week:

I have to retire all my baseball puns until next spring now, don’t I?

Because I Said So, by Michael Davis

My mother is almost 60 years old. She has been smoking a pack of cigarettes a day for almost 40 years. I don’t smoke. In fact I think it’s a stupid habit and I’m glad she told me not to do it.

She told me not to smoke. I listened. I’ll get back to that in a sec.

As I write this there is a raging debate over who can adopt and raise DOGS in this country. The talk show host Ellen DeGeneres gave a dog away she adopted. The agency said (and it was in the contract Ellen signed) you couldn’t give away an adopted dog so they went and took the dog away from the little girl Ellen had given the dog to. So Ellen goes on her talk show crying like a girl and tells the world of the injustice that has been done to this little girl. So what happened? Well the dog agency owners start to get death threats and Ellen’s legal team threatens “legal action” against the dog adoption agency.

What do I think? I could care less about Ellen, the dog agency, or the dog.

I am a wee bit concerned about this: why there is so much of an uproar about who raises a dog and virtually none about who raises kids? (more…)

Darn you, Westinghouse!

On this day in 1925, the first photoelectric cell was publicly demonstrated by the Westinghouse Electric and Mfg. Co. at the Electrical Show at Grand Central Palace in New York.  That palace no longer exists, having been replaced by an office tower, but it seems photoelectrics will always be with us in one way or another.  Heck, you’re probably soaking in them right now.  And with that cheery thought in mind, here’s your weekly one-stop ComicMix columnist shopping:

As you can see in our previous item, Ric is across the ocean from us, probably having the time of his life, and will return next week.  And now to return to my current masters, the television/DVD combo…

The Casting Couch, by Michael Davis

I have not gotten into trouble in a while so because I know I will be in Japan when this article runs, I can be safely away from the crap when it hits the fan.

I love the entertainment business for the most part. That’s for the most part. There are some areas of the business I don’t like and what I don’t like most of all are some in the acting profession.

I just don’t like certain actors. That’s certain actors. Most actors I’m cool with, this rant is not for them.

No, this rant is for the two types of actors I can’t stand. The first type is those who think what they do isn’t a profession, it’s a divine right. These “thespians” think they are involved with an art form of the highest ilk. Those conceited, self centered, cocky, arrogant, little brain, stuck-up creeps don’t take acting seriously and really piss me off. (more…)

More fall classics

Our readers aren’t the only ones falling for ComicMix‘s new format. We Phase I-ers are really excited over Phase II as well; that handy-dandy Latest News search box has made doing these weekly wrap-ups easier than ever!  And the powers that be aren’t done tinkering yet!  Here’s what our columnists have offered you this past week:

And don’t forget to click on Mellifluous Mike Raub‘s latest Big ComicMix Broadcasts over there on the right!

Michael Davis: The Fanboy Guide to Girls • Part 2

527_4_0022-6169816Welcome to the first Fanboy Guide To Girls Dating Review And Quiz! Judging from the comments and dirty looks I’ve been getting since last week’s column I see that there is a need for this type of high quality help for many of our Fanboy Nation!

Fanboy Nation trademark and copyright Michael Davis. You never know when something will catch on!

So, young Fanboy, you have your sights set on a young lady. She’s cute and you are trying to work up the nerve ask her out. Great! So here is a step-by-step guide to get her to say YES and begin your loving relationship…with a girl!

Step 1: Say hello to the lady in question and after she says hello to you… leave! That’s right, just give a taste of your coolness and walk away. Chicks dig a man of mystery!

Step 2: A day or so later walk up to her again, look her in the eyes and say,  “I would like to have lunch with you.” Don’t forget to smile – unless you have gold teeth like those idiot rappers. When she says yes, you tell her where to meet you and walk away. If she says no, you calmly look at her and say “Oh I’m sorry I wasn’t talking to you.”

(more…)